-Vibrant Depictions-(SSjr verse)

My shallow convictions,deem my soul to hallowed constrictions
fate follows tha friction,when im swarmed with vibrant depictions
of a disaster so catastrophic,minds rewind and defined i had a topic
hurricane winds force like a rocket,to pull tha dust out of my pocket
people evacuated west,to houston from stress so they try to rest
all there sins confessed,direct from a fear of death,ears congest
lies go deaf,eyes cant see plagues and violence,screams of silence
guns and knifes in hands of tyrants,raids with sirens,troops all firen
in crowds of civilians,in between alleys and buildins,crumblin ceilins
stumblin no feelins,no water or electricity,bush fumbles with millions
new houston residents,boostin taxes with some useless and hesitant
assault cases rise,many faces erased,many were faceless and negligent
shipped supplies,problems arise as anger confides inside where it hides
loved ones lost,billions theres no cost,two neighboring states divide
given adequate places to live in,our laws are written,tha same vision
southern hospitality,money raised no need to be praised food for days
through clouds of despair a glare of rays,tha ones decayed leave us crazed.

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221164

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=222353

I love it.its deep, got context, and a smooth flow, keep they heads nodding.

thanks.

nice... not to deep neither right on POINT if i rated it ill give it an 19.9/20 Very good Om (oPENmIC) Fa real and if u have time check mine out

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by :TreaZoN:

My shallow convictions,deem my soul to hallowed constrictions
fate follows tha friction,when im swarmed with vibrant depictions
of a disaster so catastrophic,minds rewind and defined i had a topic
hurricane winds force like a rocket,to pull tha dust out of my pocket
people evacuated west,to houston from stress so they try to rest
all there sins confessed,direct from a fear of death,ears congest
lies go deaf,eyes cant see plagues and violence,screams of silence
guns and knifes in hands of tyrants,raids with sirens,troops all firen
in crowds of civilians,in between alleys and buildins,crumblin ceilins
stumblin no feelins,no water or electricity,bush fumbles with millions
new houston residents,boostin taxes with some useless and hesitant
assault cases rise,many faces erased,many were faceless and negligent
shipped supplies,problems arise as anger confides inside where it hides
loved ones lost,billions theres no cost,two neighboring states divide
given adequate places to live in,our laws are written,tha same vision
southern hospitality,money raised no need to be praised food for days
through clouds of despair a glare of rays,tha ones decayed leave us crazed.

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that shit was hot,keep it up,keep writing and fucked hater$$$JSUN$$$$north carolina finest holla front :yes:

Jake had a point .... a lot of your shit flows the same way ... read them out loud and they sound the same, But My personal thoughts is that this was a decent peice...If you actually read the words its a good concept....I love your flow and opened vocab....You have no problems with that...and your structure...its kind of hard to read...maybe bring it up a size? Just to see how it looks...Other than that....loved this peice...thought it was deep but no so deep that you got lost inside of it...
"Through clouds of despair a glare of rays,tha ones decayed leave us crazed."
^^^really liked this line...Sounds like you had a death in your family or someone close to you died...and if your just typing this out of the blue...I'm sure a lot of people with dead family members could appreciate your writing...Loved it all, Peace dogg....

Leave me some feed in the open mics inside ma sig....Later...Much love take it easy

I've read most of ya pieces, and as stated before... your flow is rhymed tha same... i call that unique because you've basically prefected your own style, i like that and your use of vacab is really on point. For others who havnt been following ya shit, they gotta learn to brace them selves for some big vocab use, and each word in ya pieces mean something... i dunno if ya need to elevate on this... but i guess every1 can.... multis were in good use and the topic was nice. Keep droppin more coz i luv ya work,

culd you return feed plz?... i wanna be as good as you :P lol

i like that everyone replies to my shit...but if my shit sounds tha same in a way..its because i did it on purpose..and if you dislike my style..sorry for ya...but this is about tha hurricane katrina that hit and destroyed lousiana last week...yall should watch tha news...thanks for tha half decent replies.~1~

Jake had a point .... a lot of your shit flows the same way ... read them out loud and they sound the same, But My personal thoughts is that this was a decent peice...If you actually read the words its a good concept....I love your flow and opened vocab....You have no problems with that...and your structure...its kind of hard to read...maybe bring it up a size? Just to see how it looks...Other than that....loved this peice...thought it was deep but no so deep that you got lost inside of it...
"Through clouds of despair a glare of rays,tha ones decayed leave us crazed."
^^^really liked this line...Sounds like you had a death in your family or someone close to you died...and if your just typing this out of the blue...I'm sure a lot of people with dead family members could appreciate your writing...Loved it all, Peace dogg....
^word

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see i had a point and that's all i was tryna get across this whole hurrican katrina thing has really pissed me off (long story) and that's why i responded tha way that i did yesterday but i apoligize 4 that man and after reading your piece when i calmed down i thought it was really dope.........still 2 complex 4 my style.....but dope

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fuck those hataz. u got this rap shit down. every piece u drop does have the same style, but it's just ya style and it's kool. i liked this piece too. it's all god bro. holla

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yea i felt the shit fa rill yo get a chance rate mines an shit on om. holla convict

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thats wats poppin come n holla at me then aight

fuckin newbie...up.

uppin once again.

Nice drop dawg, good to see some quality pieces in om I was starting to get tired of seeing that other shit. Yeah it's always refreshing to read one of your pieces, you put alot of effort into them. I like the complex style and your flow was tigh, especially with the number of multis trown in there. Nice vocab and word choice, you def get my respect keep dropping.

thanks for tha replies....up,

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up one last time

i had to copy and paste it to microsoft word to read it cuz the font is so small. i liked it. i like the multies and rhyme scheme in it. nice vocab. just make the font bigger.

thanks...up.

Yo This is mad deep I love it homey

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Awesome vocab your fucking pretty nice how long you been rapping for?..I like the structure, and the flow id give this like an 8/10

ive been rapping since i was 13..im 20 now...up.

dam... this was nice.. i loved every bit of this piece... you had some nice vocabulary and it was somethin to read type ahit that'll open a persons mind.. very interestin piece..... ya lines were a little stretched but you had a nice flow and you had a good topic as well.... loved the title you used for it also... keep up the good work this was nice\
here's my link to my drop, hope you like ithttp://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=233042

thanks boo...up.