I Have No Words But Many Is a Lot To Say

well let me deliever the pain relieving of distruction of converses
demetions of my the brain funtions of my minds nonstop hurtain
let me controll the density of my head cuz they say my minds smart
it started on a site and crews unloyals that while mines came apart
six monthes of site whoring the wack times of aprave uppon
yeah when came audio and when started crews it kept on going
im showing a path of non exceptance even if my lines retreaving
and i started uppon the reason of treson of why in my mind im leaving
crazy at fact but the time is stoppen and i am not believeing
what would i be doing now if the net wasnt here to stop the bleeding
im droppen the mic walking off the stage and i been took in the might
but i think about if the one i looked up to wouldnt of taken my fight
i came back once i droppen the game then i have tooken it back
but the shit i have been through make a nigga want to say matter of fact
so once i leave and you think of the past you will remember life history
cuz the death of my sole let me take off my shoe and still live to see




http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...44#post3065744
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...02#post3065802



i dedicate this to all the ones who been thier yah heard

Queen Style
DVR
LL
Crucial Times
Lyrical Insane
3rd eye
~G~
Vamp.
Konfusion
demonic though HEHE
Sonic hehe

Expecually my nigga Kalikoze who taute me the rops
all my real rb family son ~1~ i might be back

can for get my new friend spazz

1 son uppin for feed about shit that came to minds

very well done. it was very deep. there was sum inside rhyming as well. and i understand perfectly everything u mean......

Well done. good vocab. this was a nice piece. sum good imagery and nice feelings. it was expressed well. i liked this alot.....well done homie.

no comment................................your whole style is recognizable you just still dont understand homie.....................get at me on AIM we need to talk


Sorry for the freepost

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Xtreme Malice

no comment................................your whole style is recognizable you just still dont understand homie.....................get at me on AIM we need to talk


Sorry for the freepost

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i would get on aim but you dont under stand

uppin for feed

sorry you feel the way you do when you feel like talk'n bout it you kno where to find me til then iight homie ~1~

Sorry again for the freepost

1 uppin for feed

i believe you we're trying to go poetical on this one, well you use such basic vocabulary, and you use basic multiples use internal multiples get creative then, emotion needs to be upped lines should be shortened so it flows a lot better, stucture was good but i think if your goin to try and be lyrical in a open mic you need way better vocabulary in it, imagery is kinda random cuz this was like just nustin words but its alright man you should just keep writin more then makin sigs and shit then you'd get elevatin faster.

1

ooooook uppin

hey this was a nice drop frm you tho even tho youre a noob.... you had nice flo but need to get togetha with the struture tho and you'll be set aight feel me? this waa great i enjoyed this throughout it all you got my love on it it was nice

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ~ladie_streetz~

hey this was a nice drop frm you tho even tho youre a noob.... you had nice flo but need to get togetha with the struture tho and you'll be set aight feel me? this waa great i enjoyed this throughout it all you got my love on it it was nice

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i am not a noob understand that peaches

pretty good, topic was kool, rhymes were good too, trcuutre was great same with flow, vocab wasnt quite here, need to work on dat, besides that this was good, good johb overall, 8/10, good job keep it up and keep elevating and keep droppin....................

uppin thanx

uppin any mroe people go feed on this

pretty nice. i like your style and good use of vocab,keep it up.

thanx for the feed uppin

uppin

1 people

nice spit man I like tha vocab...nice flow...everything was on point..really..nice shit overall...1

~1~

nice drop man...

but one question..why aint i on that list????? :(

I feel what the concept's about, and it seemed deep with nice rhymescheme but sometimes was kind of stretched. I like the metaphors and how you explained shit... It's still felt simplistic and maybe a poetic touch to it would of made it better like saying more deeper phrases. I think this piece, overall, was pretty decent.
Keep it up and keep on elevating.

ill tell em you said this yah realy deep piece