Confused Concept

wrote this real quickly a minute ago


Confused Concept

Thugged out bust that strap spurt sons with a vicious attack
Spread the peace stop beef pump the streets full of crack
Save Africa, help the poor don’t damage the ozone layer
It’s all about the cheddar, clasping my hands in prayer
Blitzing more Ganja spliffs than a Rasta congregation
Politics prevails with manipulation of a programmed nation
Nothing but war… I’m dead broke fucking poor as a cunt
Scream props for Martin & Malcolm like its black history month
Technologies progress has excelled, hoes trick for the loot
Shoot str8 for the juggler, terrorism spreads cop the dope smuggler
I’m kicked back waiting for the whole earth to freeze
Listening to some old time classics like three degrees
Hit the party, chix wanna strip-tease dick wit a lap-dance
Rappers elevate to test me but they stand a fat-chance
I throw kicks from the cat-stance ninja style on the prowl again
Babylon is falling, we soldiers walking thru foul terrain,
With bloodstained hands, it’s the Baghdad butcher
You dumb fucks… Hip-Hop is an art a culture
Now I’m Hell-bent like they got me ducking the rent
Grabbing hot mic’s & spitting nice wit a fucking intent
Help the world rejoice… stop all the killings please
Fuck all you paedo’s & rapists’ ill Satanist wannabes
Peas of the pod I put the O in Omen & the G in God
Competitions boring got me snoring in the land of nod


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Linkages

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224819
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224903
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221301

hmm i liked this verse...your wordplay was pretty dope..this piece had good definition, you put out your message straight..some decent vocab throughout...your internal rhyming was pretty decent as well..one thing that was a little off was that you'd go from self-glorification and then the next line about hip hop in general..heres an example:
I throw kicks from the cat-stance ninja style on the prowl again
Babylon is falling, we soldiers walking thru foul terrain,
With bloodstained hands, it’s the Baghdad butcher
You dumb fucks… Hip-Hop is an art a culture

other than that your verse was straight..keep writing and keep elevating..ONE

please hit this link up for me:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224382

good looks out yo.. i named the song confused concept b4 writing started.. hence the switching up that you mentioned Mun

any mmore fucking ups


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well, this was not bad wut so ever, rhymes were great!, flow and strucutre were pretty damn good, overall everything was above average , vocab and complexity were ok, could be a bit betta, keep elabting, great job!!, keep droppin, peace

Some pretty cool wordplay for a key'd vewrse, you've got potential as a battle emcee. Decent vocan and solid enough imagery. Your rhyme scheme could've been more complex and structure a little better. But this was a pretty dope verse overall.

Keep posting.

good looking yo

up tiddly uppety up

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

i'll like to collab with u because of the shit you be spittin

hit me wit a verse or idea on the private message if yo kno how 2 use it

read the two verses i posted until i find out how to use it

nice wordplay, it was real nice overall 8/10...keep it up ..how long u been writing btw??...oh btw check my stuff out "my life up till i was 9"

good looks out yo i been spitting darts for donkey years

bumpety bumps

uppin this biotch

The only thing i could say is work on your vocab a litte, and flow was off at some points, just try to make all of the lines with about the same syllables.

And try writing a verse about just one thing like you talked about people starving in africa in the beginning, and then you went to a line about picking up chicks at a party or something. It was still a good drop, and Id like to see mroe of what you wrote, but your verse would have more of an effect if you didnt jump around as much, just my oppinion.

Nice drop though, keep writing in OM.

decent piece wordy play was off but this game is always gonna consiste of elevation
gaining more ways ta avoid re wording something already writtin ,,.........
its disturbing ta read wat some 1 else is spittin,...........peace

You jumped around topic-wise, the title tells me that is what you were going for, but I perfer more concise pieces. You had some multi syllable rhyming in the middle, which switched up the flow. The wordplay was also a good addition, keep that up.
Please drop feed on my friend's piece, it's being slept on
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224626

Yo that was hot man. There was some good wordplay in there, saw some good multis put in there. Things couldve been more complex like the others have said, but the rhyme scheme made up for it though. Other than that, this was good, I can only say you gon get better and better. Check out some of my stuff as well. 1.

bumps