-
Letter to ma cuzin...
Just for a minute i wanna put ma beef to da side
And i just wanna chill and have ma arms open wide
I never experiecened dis feeling but it feels so good
At da age of three my parents got ma ass out da hood
Now i have a pretty average life,but still beef and hate
But i got ma cuzin and ma friends and it feels so great
I just wanna have fun like i use too way back in da day
Now it's all beef and disses But i just wish it went away
Cuz it just aint ma life and i have dreams to pursue
It defenetly aint da hustle cuz it aint what i do....
I never had a gurl not even once in ma life
It really brings me down just wanna cut maself wit a knife
This shit really hurts and i cant take away da pain
So many games to mantain but da feelin wont change
Iam kinda sorry for what i did and da things i became
There just so many obstacles that i cant manage in ma brain
Maybe this is just how life's suppose to be.....
Hate,pain,and joy are harsh but it's all that you see
Too many un-answered questions in life,You just ask why
Most of da time i just feel like givin up and tryin to die
But that aint da answer and you just gotta make it
Remove ya self from da dark and keep da fire in you lit
Life's full of surprises man what can i say
Since day one you helped me out cuz you showed me da way
-
-
Yo nice drop. Pretty deep shit. Nice emotion, alright vocab, good flow, n da lil bit of multi's u had in there mad it dat much betta. Good job. Keep em comin. RTF on da linkz in my sig.
-
ya that was deep, but i hope u weren't serious bout the killin ureself part thats not c00... good flow tho keep at it
-
-
uppin again for feedback....
-
you had some good emotion..good imagery..everything else was pretty simple..but i think that went well with your piece..keep elevatin your flow and incorporating some complexity in there...~1~
-
ayo this was some deep shit right chea...nice imagey i was definitly feelin dis piece
-
this piece was nice..its somethin pplz can relate to, jus in different situations... nice drop, keep it up... n dont be serious bout tha killin! lol
-
this had good emotion, i felt it anyhow, good piece of work....keep it up
-
thanx for da feedback.....ill check any of your om's so just check out mine......
-
Well, your vocab was off, you had structure and flow, but your topic was pretty played out. I think to improve this piece, you could drop your gangster language with the "da" and what not, and put in the real words. It would make your piece look that much better. Good drop for a beginner, and keep elevating.
-
uppin for feedback............
-
-
Uppin for feedback.......................................... ....
-
-
unique verse first of all. first reading i got the impression that it was cheerful, then your mood changed to depressing, than sort of back to cheerful. lol. it was good though because that goes to show how life is, always changing, moods never the same. the complexity of this verse wasn't high but i thiink that it doesn't need to be on topics like these so its ok. nice flow in here, i saw some multies in the middle. this verse was good man, you got potential, keep it up.
peACE
-
agreed.. you do have some potential. Was interesting piece to say the least, and I kinda got the same feeling as Glor, with the happiness / sadness ordeal, but all in all it was a decent drop. One thing that could've improved was a different rhyme scheme to it, the flow was just oo..kk.. but it could've been niceR with a dope scheme. Keep up..
