The Life Of Me

My life is not one you can look back on and say "He had it sweet"
Mine is wit guns bangin, thugs slangin, and havin beef
da day i turned ten i witnessed my cuzn get laid out in da streets
Until dat day we meet again Bruce...Rest In Peace
diz is a tru story, not one of dem OM's people leave
so they can get emotional and im sorry kinda feed
its crazy how he was bout tah have a baby, his first seed
den some stupid follish wannabe thug took away his life and his dreams
if i could somehow i'd take away his rights of livin
but im to young to do something dumb and go to juvi or prison
I just pray dat he's in heaven and there to stay
and dat he asked God for forgiveness before he went away
My other cousin get sliced on his face, its all fucked up
sometimes i juss sit down wishin i could rewind life n stuff
but somethings is impossible so i juss gotta progress
cant look back and regret and keep on gettin stressed
so now i, dress to impress, get money and invest
so i can grow up and show up being a big sucess
now my life is changin and it's startin to renew
and anyone who's ever been though something like diz good luck 2 u.

Links:

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219943
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=220338

Feedback please

Come on can i get some feed back on diz.

yo i was feelin dat rap piece

Thanks 4 da short feedback. Uppin diz.

Uppin diz shit 4 feedback. Come on ya'll

Uppin diz 4 feedback again. Come on its only gon b bout 5-7 minutes 2 respond.

Last time im uppin diz 4 da night. Come on gimme some feed ya'll.

good look on tha sig


theres no way i could tell u this was wakc, it was your life and i could feel wit



thats hot

Well... this was funny cause i think i wouldnt wanna live your life lol.. Good emotion in this keep droppin this was ok.

good emotion and imagery..everything else was basic..elevate your flow some more..you got potential though....drop a reply to the link in my sig titled when the sky falls..thanks..keep elevatin and droppin.~1~

the emotion you put into it was very good and i was feeling it as you clearly were not just writting you were writting personally whick i like alot.
the only thig i wasn't feeling was the flow but even that wasn't bad

all in all nice drop keep it up homie.

Good looks on da feed back. Uppin 4 some more.

yo i was feelin dat alot i aint never been threw shit like dat so datz why diz shit is so hot 2 me yo. keep it up

Thanks 4 da feed. Uppin 4 more. N if u can hit up da link in my sig.

nice OM here, I feel ya on the topic, i've been through a similar situation with a few of my family members....the emotion in this piece showed to me that this was a touchy topic and dawg I know it wasn't easy to write...you do need to elevate a little but this was still a hard piece...truly something that'll make you think about your own life and think about the things that have and could go wrong...Nice

Look out for my 3 Part OM...Comin sooner than you think

Thanks 4 da feed. N i hope u get/got thru wit wut happened in your fam. Uppin

Good emotion and the fact that it was a true story helped you tell it better. Just a couple things to improve the verse as a whole. Some lines were stretched a little and the structure was off in some lines would have to much detal on them, try to string out those details onto more lines it will help the flow too. Overall good drop highly emotional and a topic alot of people can relate to.

Nice drop, a good emotional piece. your vocab was rather basic but it still went nicely, the flow was also good except your lines kind of stretched a little too much makin the rhyme a little hard to follow, but it was still good no doubt, liked the emotion you put in it. all you can do is keep droppin and elevate. overall nice emotional drop, lookin forward to read some more.

Thanx ya'll. Uppin

Well I liked it because the emotion is a plus on this piece. But while the emotion is displayed well, everything was kept at a basic level, which at times takes away from how it is suppose to come out. I think you could've came stronger with this, and since this is your life, I know you can. But I did like this nonetheless.

yo ima just drop this shit quick wit notin censored 4 all u fakez dat uze goole for lyrics

I stand my ground lyrically bound,
To a mic on my right arm aimin 2 impound,
Then next lil bitch that wishes ta speed bye,
Wavin' fake gang signs like he simply wavin' hi,
It makes me sick that all these wannabes wanna try,
To testify, I DENY!
Access to my tireless trainin',
As I work on the stage, style drainin',
All the wanna B bitches frontin' tools,
Screamin' they lay the law make the rules,
Yet they need mad PRACTICE!
TRACK THIS!
I'am the one who drops knowledge in a rage like an angry sage,
Writin' confusin' chapters forcin' fakaz to turn the page,
You lock me in the cage, I JUST BUST YA GAUGE!
I've been work since tha youngest age
Kickin' continuous hotbeats and phat style,
YET YOUR IN THIEF DENIAL!
Walkin' tall yet stolen profile,
And now your in Hell's court, time for the trial,
Your turn to be tested and bested,
Like I was before I rested,
And took on the brothaz on the current rap scence,
Kickin' madd whackness yet clockin' madd green,
I'VE COME TO REIGN SUPREME!!!
Bring forth my lyrical dream team,
So don't forget to avoid the blink,
Stand wide-eyed and think,
Cause my gat reacts faster than your bat,
When its all over,
People will stand above and ask, who was that?
The insane mic rocka,
:drink: MC Blasta :drink:

^^^Aiight bro make your own thread...why you droppin in this one??? lol alright but anyway....

I was kinda feelin this piece.Your structure was good and your flow was pretty good. Your rhyme scheme was good. There were only a couple areas were it seemed like you forced a couple of rhymes but other than that it was good. Concept was great...

Check out my OM in my sig...Thanks Much...