Formation:A Walk In My Shoes

Link Number One
Link Number Two

This Is Not My Life Story This Is A View Of My Opinions

Come And Walk With Me, I'll Show You How Life Is
I Bin There Done That Hustled More Then Twice Kid
It's A Nice Fib.....To Say You Bin In My Shoes When
Your Clues Tend To Break When You Let Rules Bend
So I'm Telling You My Life And How The Pain Started
When My Dad Wasn't There I Was Left Slain Hearted
Never Get A Break,Cause I'm Awake Till The Morning
Paranoid....So You Know My Head Feel The Warning
In My Early Childhood I Was Raised To Think, Sin No
Now I Can't Get Any Sleep... Till My Brain Drinks Info
I've Came Up A Long Way And I'm Only Spitting Facts
My Mind Tends To Stop...So I Think Of Quitting Rap
I'm Careful Please Forgive Me For Taking No Chances
I Prayed A Thousand Times, I'm Waiting On Answers
My Thoughts Break Of Coarse The Seats Wetting Over
Self Conscious On The Mic So The Beats Getting Colder
I'm Humble On The Mic They Say I Tend To Act Rough
An I Might Not Show Out But On The Low I Rap Tough
Never Asked Dumb Questions Like Where My Dad Was
Cause The Fact Was Till Now I Never Even Had A Buzz
I'm Underrated....Though It Might Not Seem It At First
Good Things Turn Bad So I Got To Dream Of The Worst
I Know I Got Talent So Why Am I Sweating The Facts
But Let Me Tell You My Life I Was Just Getting To That
Moms Say I Got A Big Heart, So I'm Sending That Back
But I'd Take My Shirt Of For You And Lend You My Hat
I'm Breaking Down In Sweat Dawg But My Tears On Ice
And I Won't Stop...Till I Succeed All Of My Fears In Life
I'm Bout Tired Of This I'll Flip I'm Not Talking Front Back
I Don't Ask For Much...I Even Question Do I Want Rap
I've Sinned To Much It'll Be Hard God Please Forgive Me
And I Try Hard Not To Dawg But I Release More Sins See
Even Though I've Got Skill... I Feel That I Sound Whack
I Want To Quit But I Can't Do It Till I Really Found Rap
"Go Home You Can't Rap" That Shits All I Tend To Get
So Every Time I Got A Chance I End Up Calling It Quits
Though We All Make Mistakes I Feel I'm Making It Worst
Haven't Battled In Years So You Know I'm Aching In Thirst
My Guts Folding In Dawg But You Know I Came To Win
Split Personality.....So Every Time I End Up Blaming Him
And My Hearts In Pain So You Know I Struggle For Help
I Try To Fix A Mess Dawg.. But Tend To Trouble My Self
I'm Not Confusing Life.......But It Could Be A Lot Like Rap
And I know The Ratio's Is Different So It's Not Like That
I'm Up Till The Sun Shines......Just Writing New Tracks
My Girl I Got To Work And I'm Like Right I Knew That
Take A Shower Leave To Watch The Snow Clouds Melt
To Work With A Frown I Hate The Go In Crowd Smell
I Survive The Rap Ride....Just To Hold On Another Day
I'd Throw Away To Have My Sisters And Brother Stay
And When It's All Said And Done, Rap Is Just A Games
Dude's Will Doubt Me.....And Say Kid Your Just A Lame
The Cups Half Empty And Dawg It's Not Positive Pride
Man Life's A Struggle So You Know It's Hard To Survive
My Parents Left Dawg I'm On My Own I Live With Out Em
If They Ever Came Around Me I Know Why Bit I Doubt Em
And I'm Stating The True Facts Dawg Believe Me Or Not
When The Tables Turn You'll Be The On Eating Your Rot
I Know That You Hear Me, I'm Just Trying To Get Feed
And Let You See......... My Views Thing If You Let Me

Thanks For Walking In My Shoes

your stucture is perfect, but shit you need to learn how to work with emotion there was a tiny little bit at the start but it just aint there through out your piece man its a good drop you just need emotion, i seen a few multiples nice imagery, flow isn't bad the no sin line was a forced rhyme pretty much, but overall i was feelin this not bad imagery, but to be honnest i've seen you do better then this. keep doin ya thing man o and if ya havent left feed on my om standing n falling on my own could ya thanks.

1

nice drop main.. u cudda broke it down into like 3 verese tho as its looooooong
form stays tite tho

vocabulary cud b strengthened.. it gets a bit repetitive as such.. and cud do with a few mettas and similies.. some decent rhyming sum a lil basic tho
good expressional piece fosho...just keep adding on lyrical elements for more flavour



reply to my post

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=214404

This was a good piece, the flow stood out the most to me but the wordplay and vocab were also quite nice, the structure was fine.
Obviously this was a deep piece i thought there was a decent amount of emotion in there but some of the things you were saying got repetitive so all i could say really is the next piece you write just try and keep the verse original and not repeat yourself add in a couple of metaphors that will help.

Return the feed if you got time:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=215428

Good Looks Ppl..................

you could have used more emotion...your imagery i thought was simple....but it was there.....your wordplay was aiight...your structure was tight mos def...your vocab could use some elevation and i liked your rhyme scheme...all in all not a bda piece...keep droppin.~1~

yo man this was a good drop man everything was just right on point keep up da good work yo

the first thing i noticed was the awsome strcture and flow.....and the second thing i noticed was the great rhymes.........the topic was good.....great job.......vocab was good......keep it up.....looking forward for a future drop by you :) keep elevating..........

This Wasn't A Life Story Thing Its A Walk In My Shoes Lmao! Jesus Fucking Christ It's My View Of Things Dawg, Any Way Itll Be Audio Shortyly

Hey, I was liking this man. It's a little late, so I didn't read all of it, but from what i read, you seem to be one of the more develpoed artists on this board. I like the way the verse was set up, and I like how you mispelled some words on purpose. That kinda stuff just appeals to me. Content was felt, seemed like true words. Good stuff man. Props for this one.

its way to much to read but wat these peeps are saying its kool

Thanks Yo Weeerdnesss

Can I Get Some Feed Ppls

this had good structure... but it was forced making the piece more forced than it should have been.
work on Rhyme scheme and emotion... you have a lack of both....

You Didn't Read It You Bitch Rhyme Scheme Is There You Shit Head

This Thread was really good i can relate to most of your verses keep doin u

yeah feel this is a good drop.
but I also felt it was too long.
and you was lacking imagery.
some emoition but was bearly felt.
over all this is decent
keep drop them pieces you'll get better.
we all do.

Chea Thanks.....And Big Blind I Am Better This Pose To Be Audio Fool Read

Same With This Yo Upping It