The Peons Anthem . . .

HAULT!
Rise to your feet with perfect posture
and precision, poundin poisin proper
I tried suicide once, or jeez, twice...
or three hundred and forty three times
with a bomb, barrel, and a bowl of lightning
got the reaper in the darkest corner... hiding
I got life as a canvas and bloods my paint
i'd draw u a picture, but realitys a mindstate
Theres a thousand words asshole, now take two
"Fuck You." You aint taught me shit but to hate you
Burn alive, avenge the aftermath of the kings horse
Fly into a flaming sun, what u think god gave u wings for?
Catch a foot to the face, die, ur the best of the worse
Slit ur wrists and wear ur pride as a stain on ur shirt
I've got a big face, demonic, with a misplaced onyx
I'll Make god a promise to overthrow him and spitshake on it
Fuck a peice of the pie, I get cake, honest
And eat it with my hands to show my ancestors homage

Rise to your feet with perfect posture
and precision, poundin poisin proper
I tried suicide once, or jeez, twice...
or three hundred and forty three times
with a bomb, barrel, and a bowl of lightning
got the reaper in the darkest corner... hiding

That part had alot of Imagery.. Nice wording and Structure
This was def Hot as fuck

I got life as a canvas and bloods my paint
i'd draw u a picture, but realitys a mindstate
Theres a thousand words asshole, now take two
"Fuck You." You aint taught me shit but to hate you
Burn alive, avenge the aftermath of the kings horse
Fly into a flaming sun, what u think god gave u wings for?
Catch a foot to the face, die, ur the best of the worse
Slit ur wrists and wear ur pride as a stain on ur shirt
I've got a big face, demonic, with a misplaced onyx
I'll Make god a promise to overthrow him and spitshake on it
Fuck a peice of the pie, I get cake, honest
And eat it with my hands to show my ancestors homage

This last section was fire... What can I say Vys the FUCKIN MAN


Vote/HOF

Word, good imagery, glad to see you are getting back into topical.

i think you should squad up with Mondo Thugs again, you got all pissed cuz Jacent mentioned you in an OM and bailed :(.

come back! but anyway, i thought the whole plot of it all was awesome, the opener and the whole start of the word was brilliant, short, and to the point... beautiful.

had everything.

The beginning was kind of slow but when it got to the middle u shined out...The more metas u put in made it that much better to read...Ur style was good and ur vocab was aight in some spots...U had the dominant I dont give a shit 50-cent going and all around was a little bit above average verse...GJ

I've got a big face, demonic, with a misplaced onyx
I'll Make god a promise to overthrow him and spitshake on it
Fuck a peice of the pie, I get cake, honest
And eat it with my hands to show my ancestors homage

Honestly, Vy...this was kinda pooh compared to what I've seen you write...

But, damn...those last four lines were bad ass.

Props to them!

Yeah, it was dope.

This whole fuckin verse was hot. The beginning really caught my eye, and for the FIRST fuckin time here on RB, a line made me lol.

"I tried suicide once, or jeez, twice...
or three hundred and forty three times"

And this line right here was a good way of getting yourself over with the reader...

"with a bomb, barrel, and a bowl of lightning
got the reaper in the darkest corner... hiding"

Here go another hot line, that also made me smirk a lil...

"Theres a thousand words asshole, now take two
"Fuck You." You aint taught me shit but to hate you"

And, this line was deep, I really liked the way it was worded...

"Catch a foot to the face, die, ur the best of the worse
Slit ur wrists and wear ur pride as a stain on ur shirt"

The whole verse was dope as fuck, but those were the ones that appealed the most to me. I really like Ur attitude of "Fuck the world", not very many people can express that without looking either fuckin stupid or really corny. In fact, the only other person I can think of that plays that image well is Shady. And after I read this, U reminded SO MUCH of him. Seriously. U got some mad skills. You can get Ur point acrossed with like 5 or 6 words a line, and even make it deep and really stand out to the reader.

Im nominating this...

Overall rate - 10/10

This was pretty dope, the flow, the content, the topic.. nice drop Teflon.

Good shit.

I got life as a canvas and bloods my paint
i'd draw u a picture, but realitys a mindstate
Theres a thousand words asshole, now take two
"Fuck You." You aint taught me shit but to hate you


nice nice i like the ryhme scheme and the over all was id say 9/10

keep it up. the imagery on that was on point and the flow was mostly fine.
"Spitshake with God!" Also told a good story.

Thanks ya'll for the mad love, one up.

i luh vylint :hump:

Rise to your feet with perfect posture
and precision, poundin poisin proper
I tried suicide once, or jeez, twice...
or three hundred and forty three times
with a bomb, barrel, and a bowl of lightning
got the reaper in the darkest corner... hiding

imagry



I've got a big face, demonic, with a misplaced onyx
I'll Make god a promise to overthrow him and spitshake on it
Fuck a peice of the pie, I get cake, honest
And eat it with my hands to show my ancestors homage

hard ass like a mutherfucker.

nice vylint... s'why on the dopest are competition.
keep it up.

Damn, nice fucking piece Vy. That shit was a real good read.

I always like reading your Open Mics because...
they're 100 times better than your battle verses.
;)
No, but the real reason is I like how original every piece is.
I've never seen you write a piece with a concept that's been done before.
This....was one of your best I'd say.
Definitly deserves a hall of fame look.
Good shit yo.

rofl, some twisted shit man rofl. it was surprisingly nice man, you used some weird wording and some hella weird phrases....devil y0, but werd, i really enjoyed this twisted shit from ou vy, im hoping to see more of this lol .....i was supposed to be in this o_0 ;D

well im out y0, pz and GJ

ups.

Vy nice drop, it was kinda average in the begining buthad good imagery and the last few line really tore it up through every concept of the piece nice drop man.

Go check my OM

Crossing The Gap.

Dopeo.! Nice flow. Good story. Nice Concept. Blah Blah. Alot of imagery was used in this peice which I liked alot with some emotion here and there. All that other good ish.
Vote - Vylint for HOF....OM HOF atleast.

Two links or this gets closed.

Quote:

---

I've got a big face, demonic, with a misplaced onyx
I'll Make god a promise to overthrow him and spitshake on it

---

Damn this was dope me and you are going to have to collab with something like this... That line was butter... Keep at it...

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=213490
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=211975

sorry forgot to post em. i had em the whole time.

Yea.

Although I've definately seen you write some doper shit (like that stuff on that one site that closed down- can't remember the name), this was definately cool. It was a bit short, but at the same time, you had enough time to develop good imagery and emotion in your writing. Yea, it was twisted, but you wrote it very uniquely, and as such it came out dope for most, decent for you.

Word.