Rap Vs Love (All Four Chapters)

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Chapter One-The Vendetta
The Vendetta
My First Child In Life, And I'm Switching My Paste
Momma Tripping And My Bro Bitching In My Face
Eighteen Years Old......And I'm Choosing My Prime
I Don't Try My Best So Am I Really Losing My Mind
And I'm A Daddy So It's Kind Of Hard Raising A Kid
Damn I Keep Getting Drunk And Still Blazing Up Shit
I'm Out Of Choices, And I'm Running Low On Options
I Love Her, But I Feel Like Running Her For Adoption
I Got A Heart Feeling.. That I'll Be A Bum On The Ride
Girl Is My Life, Even Though...I Got One On The Side
And Counseling Won't Work Cause I'm Hurting Inside
Got This Feeling In My Gut And It's Merking My Pride
All I Know Is I Got To Make It.. For My Family's Sake
And I Won't Stop Rapping Till They Handing Me Cake
I Know I've Got Talent.. But My Girl Won't Support It
Trying To Giving Her Everything But I Can't Afford It
I'm Passing Opportunities Like Crazy And I Can't See
And I Know If I Make A Mistake I'll Be Out Camping
Cause My Girl Got A Problem With Me And My Music
And I Won't Yell At Her But Please Don't Confuse It
Up Late Writing, When She Asks, I'm Mixing My Lies
My Excuse Twisting The Truth I'm Still Fixing My Ties
If Rap Was Raising A Kid, It Won't Be Worth My While
So It's Time For Me To Start Working With My Child
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Chapter Two-Troop & The Vendetta
Troop
Who is Troop? An UnMaterialistic Missphit? Well Kinda?
That Close 2 a Felon?..Bodies..Yea they Gotta Find Um
But Until The Realization Of Fingers United 2 Congratulate
He Jus a Tad Bit 2 Late..To be able to Relate to Infatuate
That Hes a Bredgrin Short of a Legend Cant Hurt Wealth
Troopss So Local..that He Hasent even Hurd of His Self
Lifes full of Entaglements.. like an Anaconda Sex Setting
So i Constantly.. Brush Off my Past as if i was Shedding
Take a Second 2. Acknowledge the Politix in our History
How Quickly He Adapted to the Drasticks still a Mystery
Thats Not Semi Near to being Secured.. and Embraced
Because in His City..Tha Other day..Kid got De-Faced
For Living in Right Time and Wrong Place is Realization
Troop Refuse to Get Chalked Wrong
Liked the Fabric Material....... during a ReAh.Taileration
And his Soul is Dissolved and Grunged Out like Slip Knot
Word is May 24th 1986..And His Mom Birthed Hip Hop
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The Vendetta
Now He's Back With Chapter Two, Speaking The Truth
His Life's Like A Ham, And He's Being Beaten Into Two
He's Onto Rapping So Much....He's Forgot About His Kid
So He's On The Verge Of Losing It If Continues His Shit
And He's Confused, Cause The Rap Is Taking Over Him
But He Know's He's Got To Make It.....In Order To Win
And He's Got To Prove Him Self To Be A Soldier Again
He's Drowning In Sorrow, But He's Way Over The Rim
Dude's Admitting Everything So He's Flowing With Jim
And He Feels Animosity Inside...But He's Holding It In
He's Writing Chapters For Shit Cause It's A Frozen Pen
The Ink Won't Eject Shit, So He End's Up Posting Again
So He Ask's Jimmy P If He Could Coach An Old Friend
His Skills Underrated So He Know's He's Chosen As Ten
While His Girl's In The Bathroom.... Fingering Her Self
He's Depressed While His Body's Lingering With Help
His Kid's Screaming While Managers Trying To Job Em'
He Keeps Telling His Girl Bull Shit Lying Is His Problem
Cause My Girl Want Sex, But I Don't Feel Like Fucking
If He Stops Writing, He'll Be A Hillbilly And Trucking
His Girl Doubt Em Making It To See How His Shit Works
So He's Writing Lines While Waiting Till His Kid Burps
And He's On His Way To Fortune Looking To Get Signed
He's Broke And They Say We Not Looking For Shit Rhymes
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Chapter Three-The Vendetta
The Vendetta
Now My Life's Out Of Order..... Like Coke Machines
Cause My Girl Support Me With Only Broke Dreams
And My Kid Don't Know Me, I Can't Even Carry Her
I Barely See My Girl So Why Did I Even Marry Her
I Know I Love Em Both, But I Got To Do My Music
But I Know I'm Not The Best, But I Don't Abuse It
And I'm A Daddy, Even Though I Don't Seem Like
I Love My Family And All But I'm A Fiend To Write
I Don't See Her For Day's I Know I Will Eventually
No Counseling Cause I Don't Need The Pill Mentally
I Can Feel It, She's Checking Up On My Phone Calls
A Man A Part........ But I Got To Hold My Own Balls
Dinner Time...I Won't Eat...I'm In Depressed State
Don't Shower For Days, But I Refuse To Rest Late
Now I'm Stuck With Out Love Cause My Rap Dream
While My Girl's Friend In The Background Laughing
And I Don't Need Any Help Cause I Know I Got Mines
I'm Writing Rap For Shit....Just Letting Ink Rot Lines
My Hearts Cold As Ice.. But I Struggle To Make It
If You Knew My Personality You'd Realize I'm Naked
Abortion Almost Occurred, But We End Up Keeping It
Dear Diary: He's As Stubborn As,Kept On Reading It
But I'm Not Here To Share, But Exposing My Life See
If Rap Was A Journal, I Could Never Close My Diary
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Chapter Four-The Vendetta
The Vendetta
Back To Day One When He Was Five Years Of Age
His Father Left Em', And He Cried.....Tears Of Rage
Smearing The Ink In His Diary,Tears On The Page
That's How He Became It, And Fears Of His Ways
It's A Fight Between His Baby's Love And His Rap
He's Stress, Even When His Girl's Rubbing His Back
Cause His Dad's Disappearance...Showed Him Shit
But Now He Got His Own.......& He's Growing A Kid
And His My Girl Need Therapy She's Throwing A Fit
His Heart's Cold So You Know He's Holding His Clip
Drunk Off Of Whine Coolers.... And Holding His Rib
Cause His Liver Hurts In Pain So He's Holding It In
He's Viewed The Edge Once, But Never Went Over
His Personality Is Split So, He's Like A Bent Soldier
Most Underrated In Talent, So He's Not Making It
He's Shy At Times, But Over All He's A Naked Kid
Get's No Publicity, So Sound Click Means Shit Now
His Dreams Bin Paralyzed, So His Dreams Sit Down
Now It's Nightmare's And He's Troubled And Blind
And His Brain's Confused So It's Struggle In Mind
Now He's A Cigarette Attic, Cause He's Stressing
He Views Opportunities But Pause In Depression
In The Presence Of Him, But He's Passing Himself
He Seams Fine... But He's Really Asking For Help

Dope drop man dis was a very emotional piece i can tell you took ya time
dis piece seems like your depressed but dis is a dope piece nice creativty, nice use of vocab, nice structure, by da way ma favorite pieces was chapter 1 beacause it was very deep intro and i liked it. and chapter 4 cuz it gives off a flashback type feelin. but all chapters were dope.
so i give dis a 10/10

~1~

Thanks Man Thanks Alot I Appreciate The Fact You Too kThe Time Out To Read It

Wow man...this was extremely dope, my favorite was also chapter 1...it was very emotional,.The neding was my 2nd favorite, I liked how you talked about the father and how the kid got anger and used it towards his verbal elevation. Once asgain you've written a dope/ILL drop...MAD PROPS TO YA>

10/10

Thanks Man, I Appreciate It

yea man good shit emotion drop hot as fuck man vocabulary was tight as shit man good piece look forward to seeing more by you

Man, I'm speechless. The Vendetta dude, keep it up man. I already respect your style, but like others, myself especially, you could always improve on vocab. Ya flow's nice. good structure and storylines are exceptional. 9/10.

well since ive already given feedback on your first three i figured id just feed on your 4th..but anyways, i see you used the flashback thing n it certainly turned out as a dope piece, my favorite chapter of them all, hella imagery n expression in it, the opener was ill, coulda had a different closer but it was still aiite, overall 9/10 on the fourth chapter but a 10/10 with all 4 chapters put together, keep keepin it..

Thanks Man Weeeerd Dope Holla Back

Shit Man Bumping This

Hip-hip In Its Purest Form Emotional Poetry In motion.
I was Really feeling this piece man' I Know what real life is alot of this Kids dont they are only atracted by the Glamore of the Industry. The first rap I ever wrote was just a ryme I decided to write about the drama life was giveing me .. I finished it and when I read it back to my self it was allmost like all my pain was transmited to the page.
I think thats what your doing. talking about the obsession with the music and desire to succeed,only a select few people can really feel that and it is that which will make our dreams reality .. Man' we all need to elevate our spirts and our words thats why Im here @ R/b or whatever But its the Music that drives Us .. That what you need to work for Not the publicity on this gay ass web site shit .. do what you can to make people lissen .. open the worlds Eyes to somthing other then the Norm .. words cant express what a Piece like this makes me feel like .. OH and have sex with Your girl for god sake' !!! hit Up my Aim --> XDannyQuestX <--- thanks NEWTESTAMENT

Thanks Man I'm On Right Now If Your On Then Chea If not Get On Man

that shit was good as hell dog keep writing, i like that piece

If Yall Think This A Good Piece Nominate It Please

ive read most of the parts to this, the stucture is all a even match even with troop in it, anyway the 4th one i dont think i read it anyway i was feelin it, nice emotion good flow, and i seen you went more complex with the vocabulary in it, overal i was really feelin this piece, props to ya family n ya gurl n shit man goodluck wit ya child, by the way this is paranoid anyway i liked ya shit man could ya rtf links here:
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=211112

Aiight Man I Got You Good Looking Out

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holy fuck man, seriously, this is bein major slept on, i kinda feel bad for usin this for a link to my OM


but wow, what can i say, good flow, good lyrics, full of emotion, very deep, it definately kept me reading, and i like how you did it too, good story tellin

shit amn, keep up the good work

Thanks Man, Look Out For The Other Chapters Dawg

Deep shit brother i feeling where you come from on this one you know i've bin with you through out the whole thing man. So any time you need help jsut let me know brother. I feel the emotion in this piece here with out no doubt i guarantee you this will become open mic of july.On the real brother 10/10

Damn Dawg Thanks Man

Bumping This Piece............

Fuck Dawg Upping This

Yo ven.. got to read a bit of this in your tryout but I was tired that day so didn't go all the way into the whole thing. Just recently got the chance to do so.

Overall, this was really nice. Well written, well put together and thought out piece. Concept is great, I've seen it done before but not quite the same, this was done on another level and taken to a different degree or seriousness. Rhyme scheme was pretty nice throughout, and liek i said, the concept and way it was written are my two favorite aspects about it. Real nice.. keep up.

Nice concept...

first the negative...

fix spelling errors...
tighten up certain lines for the flow...
use all language correctly...
fix grammatical errors...
fix your syntax...

really though...just take the time to do the fine tuning and make the piece overall more cohesive...at poitnsit seemed very jumbled and disorganized...

aside from that, as i initally mentioned the concept is great...a little more could ahve been done with cohesiveness though...

i liked this alot...it's good, interesting, keeps the reader interested which is in ways the primary concern...

8.3/10

fix errors, revise, edit, proofread...and rework a few lines and iron out cohesion issues, and this could be a 10...

one love...

keep writing

Thanks Dawg Bumping..................

Fuck Man Bumping This

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ight this piece was way good. u did great on emotion and vocab. i was really feelin this piece id give it a 9.5/10. it just wasnt the full 10 for me but it was still a realy good piece. will u vote on my battle.

Good looks Dawg.......

dope beat i liked vocab in 2nd http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=213848

WOW amazing emotion i loved it a four chapter you really took your time on this i can't say i find anything wrong with it personaly i liked the first and last chapters the most the other two were dope but these two just really spoke too me i liked the whole story and ryhme scheme very nice 9/10 GOOD JOB

yo kid i really liked that shit....nice nice work...

Thanks Ppl THanks........

Shit Man Upping This Shit Yo

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honestly isnt anything i can say about this emaculate piece that hasnt been said except its fuckin dope...everything about this piece was ill....imagery..vocab..emotion...flow...content... complexity...structure...ill...keep droppin tha hottness.~1~

Thanks Man I'm Trying To Tell Ppl Don't Sleep On It Yo

I'm sick of seeing this shit already. Closed.