Topical
Must drop in 2 hours.
Topics:
Helpless
Mandatory Feelings
Closed Off
Printable View
Topical
Must drop in 2 hours.
Topics:
Helpless
Mandatory Feelings
Closed Off
Check, let's make line length 10-20 lines. I'm going to go with "Closed Off."
kk i jus finished a battle we can feed yer u go 1st
yo im off the simple folk wat does mandatory mean
aite my topic is helpless good luck my freind
Closed Off
The ones that I love can no longer reach out and connect
I have halted them, they cannot breach the wall that protects
I use it to keep vulnerability in check, so that harm is not direct
it thus can reflect, to another area where I can lessen effect
but what is correct, when I feel that emotionally I am a wreck
the price I pay to be closed off, is made as a defense strategy
for all the stress that arose often, battering my tense anatomy
a sacrifice, as the rest of my comrades cannot attach to me
they still try to match the strength of my mental barricade
and to defy the wall's length, to release me from this state
but eventually comply and relent, knowing they are too late
believing that I will die content, and they want to relate
as a separated introvert is how I am accurately portrayed
but I am comfortable not being hurt, it's always been this way
yo i cant think, my minds preocupied buy the shattered dream, and my bois that ride/
my heart wont stop racin, to fast pacin, the streeets full of death, its were thugz collide/
yet im helpless, and i breathless, cause i been running from the cops/
tryin to watch my bois back, and at the same time, stop my self from bein shot/
but theres noting we can do, livin like this is jus a way of life for many people/
jus cause they kill to survive, can we really difine between good and evil/
who are we to decide if a home live or die, should we take a life/
yall sayin that ya kill a homie, we kill a homie its like eye for a eye/
yet we all still helpless, theres nuting that no one could ever do/
who could stop this way we all living, please tell me, who.. who.. who/
the foundation of hate that we go out and lay every single night/
we just goin out, frowning on niggas forcing em to fight/
we just throw caustion to the wing let the wind catch our wings/
sore like eagles and angle, not weighed down buy sin/
god understand how helpless we can be, but he can do nutin cant set a homie free/
every one always patronizing and hatein on us, dnt talk like that you wouldnt want to b me/
cause we all helpless and no one will ever care bout the life of a thug/
addicted to this life style, im was born to be a thug/
I liked Killa Soulja's more... they were both clever in terms of lyricism. But I just liked the storyteller approach, more than the political generalization that Crazy Carl took. That being said I enjoyed both... Well done both of you.
V/ KS
P.S. Vote for the Trans battle if you can.
uppinn for votes.........
Carl - You had some nice vocab going for you and it was a well written piece. Some of your bars had multies, but some of them that didn't the flow was a bit off so just be careful of that. You had some lines that were pretty deep like I really liked the introvert line and everything leading up to it, but I wasn't really feeling the closer. I know you ran out of lines but prolly could have closed better. Overall though solid piece.
Killa - You took a very different approach to this with the idea of telling a story of why you're helpless while Carl went for more emotions. I felt like the idea you had could have been better like if you're going to tell a story, make it more creative than running from cops cause I've seen that 1000 times. Overall you came better than expected, but you had some very simple lines. Topicals are your time to be deep and not talk about thugs and niggas as much. Also work on your bars... way too stretched.
Killa came better than expected, but Carl came much deeper with more vocab, emotion, and a better written piece so I'm giving this to him.
Vote - Carl
kk tnx for the feed back this my 1st topical dnt forget tht...
this was a good topical battle yall both had good flow good structure and a good spit they were both well writen and well thought out but i got to vote KS cuz he came wit a betta spit and i enjoyed readin it
ill vote on my otha acount(coco puffs)
v/KS
rtf unda sig
^^^^^^^my feedback^^^^^^^^^Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.NCredible
My Vote Goes 2 Killa 4 Harder Punchez
yo this want a battle well yer but it was a topical wat u doin mayne...
uppin dnt jus feed back vote
i thought Sk had the better flow. it sounded more like something i wouldve written, Props to both they were both hot.
V/ SK
Vote on my battle, DME Prophecy vs. Infamous Dubbz its in the middle
killa soulja
whoa you didnt do at all good your stucture was horrible and your flow seemed streched i didnt see much emotion either. nor did i see any good vocabulary no multiples nothing interesting about your peice even the imagery was off a lot. you need to work on imgery at most to win a topical abttle and yoiur stucture really could use some good help.
crazy gurl
very very good stucture very good flow and you have a nice use of vocabulary i didnt see any multiples specially eternal multis some very good imagery your peice was just straight up better by far. and i was feeling it too. work on multiples tho ight then soon we need to battle:thumbup: keep writing maybe we should battle soon if you wanna make a thread in bitch slapped, bitch;)
vote: CrazyGurl
lol at "CrazyGurl".....leave links
bump...I will return the vote
Carl - You had some nice vocab going for you and it was a well written piece. Some of your bars had multies, but some of them that didn't the flow was a bit off so just be careful of that. You had some lines that were pretty deep like I really liked the introvert line and everything leading up to it, but I wasn't really feeling the closer. I know you ran out of lines but prolly could have closed better. Overall though solid piece.
Killa- Ur a little bit off the mark here kid. Ur shitwas decent, but the emotion wasn't all there. Read over carls verse he had crazy good emotion and feeling in his verse. Overall ur not bad actually better than alot of new people at topics...nice work kid.
v/Carl....rtf in my battle vs. paul england in my sig...pz!
nevermind vote on my battle wit blitzkrieger when we both spit
carl hit my battle in my sig and vote plz rtf
killa gets this one cuz the other guy shit was gay
uppin for votes.....
yo this is the nigga 44k here if you want it step okay son....
im dying to battle wack cats..haha
kalibur i aint even gunna waste perfectly good lines kickin ur ass u biter.. eat me whore...ohh n uppin for votes
if any body wanna battle...come at a dog...i call guys out and no responce..im gonna leave this wack and find me another rap forum if i don't get a challenge soon..im tired of spitting at scared niggas.....
yo i thank its dumb for crazy ass carl to even battle the wack solja...fake killa vs. not so crazy kid...man give it up..i'll take on you both together..you guys on teams...im gonna stay alone....
im the hottest...can you find me some comp. nobody wants 44..whats up i got em all scared....
ima kill you bitch...
yo you aint got to waste lines or waste rhymes
heres my little notepad,study and waste mine
i got you shook,gun shakin by your waste line
i can beat you with 3 lines or we can go 50 times
it really don't matter,victory will be mine
when i pump lead in ya,for the very first time
im a thug,im the type that loves doing crime
get locked up,and get out and do the same crime
and repeat myself about 50-leven times
and crush suckers like you,with 50-leven rhymes
so if you ever wanna waste my rhymes,don't waste time
just read my notepad,and study one more time....
its ismple i aint battlein ya jus fuck off i got bigga people to kill... u aint nutin, fuckin wanna b
try me dog,i will kill you easy...you ain't eminem and even he is wack...you guys are on his di..k...he ain't even hot to me..50 is hot..Banks is hot..Yayo is hot...Buck is hot...Game is hot....Dre is hot...Snoop is hot..D-12 is hot...oh did i leave out M&M and skittles kid solja boy...oh my bad...sike....
oh im a wanna be..im from africa...you need to be skating or playing hocky..do you got dead people in your basement too..oh i forgot solja boy wanna be a rapper...but turn down challenges...you ain,t hard...look in the mirror coach..my bad hocky boy...
crazy carl is the winner...atleast he don't reply with excuses...i guest he's scared too but he beat little drummer boy solja...haha
jus fuck off ima get your ass banned... cause it was already ripped from wen i raped it
How Do U Change Ur Title From Like Light Weight To Anything Uwant. What Do U U Have To Do.
i aint sure frined can u vote on this plz
leave a link, I'll return the vote
This was an awfully tuff battle to decide on...but Carl to this in my opinion...he had deeper emotion in his verse and had sum very nice vocab. Killa you came good but your verse was too simple..learn from Carl's verse and youll soon be a dope topikal head!...good verse Carl liked how it flowed!
v//Carl