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The Sit Down.
The Sit Down.
*Brain Damage is playing in the background*
Yea. Whats up man, come on in, sit down...
The mood was mellow...
My fellow feelings sensed forged friendships
From actions from back when I was born in this
At first, shit was stupendous, like amazing grace
We were face to face, rakin paper, just playin games
But then, things began to change...shit started missin
& I always had suspicions, hint the problems mentioned,
Like, what was our intentions... then I asked you list ‘em
Then within the instant, you quickly dipped, kid...
...which is when my wisdom grew
You put 2 and 2 together, because you knew, I knew
Which was true, just new & I wasn’t positive
Whether or not ya prerogative was a problem then
It was anonymous, but I thought for hints
For days I gazed why you faded in the mist
Now times have changed, and we’ve grown astray
So today’s the day I confront theives older ways
‘N hey, this way it’ll free you from a debt
Of the things inside your head, just listen up, I said...
Now, I know lifes a bitch just tryna fuck yers
But we were brothers, just grown from other mothers
And now, ya lucks spurred, so trust herb
You crossed ya boss and thought I’d bust burnt
...
‘His moneys gone and his products robbed, sure he’ll melt’
...
Fact of the matter, people started the chatter that cured my wealth
See, I just laid it stealth, played the shade with a ear to the street
It’s been a year and a week, but ya queer...yer beat
Ya see...it folds times 10, but 20 with a friend
Shit, we swore until the end that the money wouldn’t win
We would’a went to the grave incase of danger
We’d relate through the anger, the manger, & the paper
But now ya went & changed it, & now I’m here to face shit
So say a prayer and cover ya face, kid
*If I Had, comes on*
So I looked into his face, and I started to cry
But then the music hit, and I realized why...
...
He had to die
...
..
.
*Silence coved the room as I tuned into the music*
**What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they really your enemies, with secret indentities
and disguises, to hide they true colors
So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin
What is money?
Money is what makes a man act funny
Money is the root of all evil**
*BANG*
*BANG*BANG*
Will Edit Links
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actually i like this not at the stature of the original em song but it would of been hard to achieve that it was good work on humor and structuring
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Word, thxs...and I dunno if it was clear or not, but just so people dont get it twisted...that last snippet thats in the **...** is quoted from the song If I Had by Eminem, its playing on a stereo in the background...im not trying to say, I came up with that snippet...
Word.
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no pop i aint insinuating just stating twin the work was very solid
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alright, let me be thug and respond.. as you dropped the link in the TNL lounge, by "Brian damage" in the background im assuming you meant Eminem's song, if not.. shut up.
i think this would be a lot better in audio form, so you could actually hear the *bang bang* because personally i dont like it when people do text "bangs" haha, but for the rest of it, i liked.. you did a PUUUUrty good job with it.. and KEEP DOING IT!
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^Word thanks, bro. <--- to non centz
I liked your recent piece, also...V
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...07#post2322607
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=187528
And word, rose, I did mean Eminems song...if you look on his first cd...Brain Damage is the song right before If I Had... so as this piece is told, Brain Damage finishes, and as the tension is at the peak, If I Had comes on, where it kinda sums up the whole, friends turning snake/ money causing evil bit. Thx for the feed, dude.
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hi.
this was tight. with or without these '*'.
imo i didnt make a difference.
The rhyme scheme you used was tight, real smooth.. and i agree that this would sound good as an audio.
stay wise foolio.
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word. thanks. i have an audio idea for it too, just dunno if i can pull it off.
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not bad, rhyme sheme needs work
.. and than it will flow more solid.. keep dropping.
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Yea, it seems all ready for audio, which looks like it would turn out good. I liked the concept. You were pretty descriptive with the piece, you had some vocab scattered throughout. The rhyming was alright, and the structure was fine. You had emotion in spots, which brought up the quality.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185738
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thanks. fav returned :thumbup:
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yeah. i liked this.
i refuse to breakdown cuz that aint my style.
i can do it over aim, though.
holllller.
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