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love stained
no one hears me screaming on the inside
im an emotional wreck..with no where to hide
self righteous acts got me in this position
immaturity..put me in this current condition
i can always smile but i cant stop the way i feel
my own actions put me here..every bit is real
i tried to keep u close but i pushed us apart
times became harder n i slowly broke ur heart
now things are over and im wishing us to be
wishing gets me nowhere..when its only me
im tryin to get you back..but thats a hard task
cus i hav'nt the answer to the questions u ask
so its obivously useless for me to try again....
the consequences are seeing me swollow my pain
a spec of hope wen u sed u love me..but is it true
my mind says no..but my heart yearns for you
i find it hard to belive that you feel this way
although im captured by each word you say
i cant help but feel your trying to deceive me
cause if u truely felt this way why did u leave me
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man i was feelin this, it flowed well and was a good subject , you had some dope lines it there for example
"now things are over and im wishing us to be
wishing gets me nowhere..when its only me"
keep it up dawg
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yeah i liked it, u stayed on topic, and ya vocab and rhymes were str8, keep droppin yo
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that shit was soft and i did'nt like it go to a pop web site if u want to sing some soft shit u a fag from england and your styl is wack its on crack and u propably take it in the ass for money, u can't fuk with KAUS why? BECAUSE IM BIG COMPANY
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oook kaus cant see real talent... this board dont have to be all lik [fuck you ima put a bullet in your head! bitch!] it can also be a song lik this.. i liked it and kaus stop hatin on ppl in england at least they kno how to be real lyricists not idiots lik you..
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yo man that was deep for sure i was feelin that man like good job man like i give you props
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this is ok.. nothing to mind blowing.. but you described your feeling well
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I think this joint was hot I rather listen to you rhyme about a girl then 50
Word up
Kaus be talkin bad about everything but hey he got his right to an opinion
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Man I love cherry pie...dont u....
verse was aight...5.0
keep elevatin
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YO THAT WAS LIKE SOME REAL LL COOL J TYPE OF SHIT MY NIGG
YOU MIGHT AS WELL MAKE A SINGLE WITH R-KELLY ...........ROFL :laugh:
NO HARD FEELINGS THOUGH SOME OF THAT A GET YOU SOME ASS :thumbup:
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wow dude thats funny cuz jus yesterday my gf dumped me and i put sum o that shit 2getha in like 5 mins and gave it 2 her and she came bak... that shit is powerful man and after that peice i think u almost mastered it... i like that it flowed good, the rhymes was strang, u neva went off subject, good vocab all in all very tight nigga very tight... by the way those last 2 lines was dope man
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yo thanks for the feed back guys much appreciated...but needin more
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com'n people tlk about sleepin.............
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its an exellent piece. it had a nice flow, a good subject, and dont listen to kaus he couldnt find real talent even if it bit him in the ass
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thankz shell...much appreciated..
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y0 if u waz expressing urself u diffently made it hott
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cheerz...i like where your from starz...:thumbup:
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ye that shit was hot...yo hit me back on that favour
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ok...first i wanna say lucky for you cuz it was short,cuz if it would've been longer i wouldn't have read it.i could anticipate your next rhyme,what you were going to say basically...it was all so basic:rhymescheme,vocabulary,no deep emotions that i could feel...elevate man on rhymescheme,vocabulary,wordplay etc
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yo im likin it, tha emotion was there tha deliver was there...overall it was a great piece, my only suggestion mayb is b a lil more complex..u used alot of kiddy rhymes an i think if u used a lil more complexity than i think it would stand out betta..done pz no hate
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Yo Street ya talent blew me away i loved everything about it. It was very interesting.
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ya what he said man very interesting.
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cheerz guys....i didnt realise this was still open...but much appreciated
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good job homie nice flow and u need to work on structure aight but verse is hot ok jkust work on structure and some good delivery ok
