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The Defination....
Yea somethin on top of my head...just rhymin no punches really....LEAVE FEEDBACK....
I am the definiton of ur dreams..the defying moments when a man screams
my words flow silently like a stream...
as i verbally ambush niggaz with hardcore ammunitions that go the extreme
this aint just words bein said 2 be said
its words to those who keep wishin me dead
from niggaz on earth and hell those i filled their heads with lead
as their siblings watched and cried as they blead
i aint obligated to do shit niggaz tell me
i am my own wisdom and thats all i make sure niggaz see on me
if niggaz keep testin me i might snatch em like a theif
and when in court i'll plea the fifth
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I am the definition of a young man....spectating like a young fan
watchin to see who'll try 2 get at me
and if u fail then u mite as well have let me be
cause u see i give the bang that'll make a niggaz brain rapture
and i'll be the same nigga readin the scripture...at their funeral in the near future
i am the definition of a competitor...a ruthless thug gladiator
and if yall niggaz aint careful u mite not be here later
to understand what it means 2 have a life
or to have a bitch give u that sexual healin like ur wife
this aint a threat or somethin ive done and ive regreted
this is a defyin momment for all those who are overated
this is a warnin that once im penetrated
it'll be OV before it'll be started....
i am the becomin and the end...fuck u and fuck ur friends...
im foreva in it....DO U FUCKIN COMPREHEND?
yeaa....niggaz just shit on top of my head....haha thats me...I AM THE DEFINITION OF FAME,POWER,AND MURDER.....
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Yeah you right about the punch lines but overall I think it was ok.
Punch lines would have blown it up
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thnks yalll...keep comin with them................
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not really good but for new person u got it work on flow and vocab so ur verse can be betta and liked some of ur lines but need more delivery to lines overall rate-5.0/10
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ight feelin it....honesty is part of life.........
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Punches Are Needed In This But The Poetic / Spoken Word Delivery Gave It Strength Content Was Solid So I Cant Say Im Dissapointed In This 9/10
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also for those who dont understand OV it means over...some herbs just dont know much now days....so ya know...but i like the positive feedback....more
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Im definitely feelin dis man...good shit ...keep it up
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dat ight dawg good vocab but capones right dat it could have flown betta but i liked it dawg
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This was an alright drop. Had some wordplay in there, keep that up. Work on your structure, you made a bar into a single line, and that made it look stretched. After you get your verse into ending at the rhyme, you can edit in or take out words so that it will flow better. You had some ok ideas, keep working on being descriptive in your thoughts.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=182641
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i appreciate the love comin from yall its good 2 kno ppl arnt just interested in punchlines...punchlines dont mean nothin 2 me in a song unless im gettin at some1 personally...in this case i was just expressin myself by introducin myself b4 i got started in battles.....
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yo uppin this.....................................
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You had a decent flow man
you chould elevate a bit better but it was okay
props
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ight yo....uppin...................................
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wow havent upped any of this so heres my upp....pce
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not bad, i seemed to have a problem catching the flow at times, and some rhymes were off (raputre/scripture/future doesnt work, they are words that need to be rhymed both parts..), but it was an alright piece..
work on makin' it a little easier to read and just going insane with multies..download a song called "So Sick" by Benefit (if you havent heard it already) to see what I mean about just exploding with rhymes (if thats what you are trying to do)..
but for just off the top of your head, it was pretty good..
