Bad Decisions (Introducing Sammy B)

Sammy B

Yo, did you ever see some thing that was so horrid
You wanted it removed but its stuck in your mind kid
Didn’t know it was coming sent shock and surprise
Like something beautiful dieing in front of your eyes
A piece of your soul flies away like birds in the skies
In the background you hear the cries of who was left behind
Why are people so blind to love, is the answer that im trying to find
Instead sending that slug to his chest
You should have realized in prison your divest of all your rights
Now everything about your life is dim no bright lights
Everything in your world is now controlled
With one squeeze of the trigger your future foretold
It was a bold move you once thought
Some respect is why you wrought all this pain
You did all this, to reach a level that you’ll never obtain
Why couldn’t you abstain from this murder
Should have ran the consequences through you head
Know what your better off dead…….You stupid fuck

Bad decisions like eternal gashes
leaving scars like forty lashes

CrazyCarl

Bad decisions when it all goes down
less than the time you can fall to the ground
pray that you land on your feet...defeat
your setbacks so it's clear what you lack
to take your opportunity, stay in tune with me
give me your hand, I'll take you to the promised land
to profit from these decisions, follow your heart
don't stray to far, stay on the mark
the dark, hides my faults, and my hope is blind
over and over in my mind, I rewind
everything that happened in the day
it reveals to me, conceals what it may
I am a soldier of the night
causing fright when in the light
not that people see me and fear me
but what might happen to them, until then
they cover their thoughts
and hover over fear bought
for the price of their health
all their wealth for life
all gone when the knife
is thrust through,
their time is now meant to lose
feeling the effects of my actions
changing fractions into whole
broken down because I stole
to make ends meet like a belt
I felt...pity, shitty, regretful
to myself hateful

Bad decisions like eternal gashes
leaving scars like forty lashes

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=177299
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=178046

Leave links, I'll return the feedback.

This was tight a nice collabo and you both stayed on the topic it was raw and deep so i was feeling it i thought both verses were equally as good as the other. There was just good imagery and real emotion in the rhymes the structure and vocab were fine the flow was ok but i think the imagery and emotion in the rhymes made this dope.

Return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=178619

uppin, all links returned

Overall this was a dope piece and the read was good. The concept was nice and I was feeling both verses differently but I thought that everything was nice.

uppin

nice colab.ya both stayed on topic and put two oppinions on bad decesions.vocab could've been better,but still the emotion and feelin in there was good,it's kinda like the core of the piece itself.and good job puting a sort-of-a chorus there,relaxes the concentrated mind a little.the structure lacked in some ports(this goes out to both of you)should even up the lines and doesn't look that good for the reader.flow was good,wordplay could've been done better.overal good drop to both of you,and especially to sammy since it's his first drop.keep it up

and if you have time please check my collab with Na~Ledge - Unfufilled Prophecy in my sig.

Links have been returned, uppin for feedback.

sammys verse was good, flow wasn the best or worst, emotion wasn't too bad, you stayed on topic, wasnt a bad piece, yours was not complex but that will come in time.

crazy carl, yours was nice, flow was good, emotion, a bit of complexity, and you also managed to stay on topic.

nice drop fellas

i liked the topic but the vocab needs some work. a few multis and more specific imagery would've helped you convey the subject better. you both stayed on topic and had styles which complimented each other though.

keep posting, keep elavating.

These are two nice drops.
But personally:
The first one is better to find the flow because the lines had (almost) the same length -> What makes finding the flow faster/better.
But they both had some nice wordplay and multi's.

that was tight thanx 4 voting my freestyle
i will use your advice and try some differnet things

I liked Sammy B's verse, it was pretty much relevan to the topic and the bar length wasn't awkward and it just stayed together and introduced and described bad choice making in a way .. that wasn't too blunt you know, it had creativity. Crazy Carl your verse was straight but the words didn't really do you too much justice lyrically wise, though I could hear this in an actual song. But I do admit Sammy outshone you just a bit. Good collabo though. Keep up the chemistry.

bump

i like that shit yo..

Thats deep man, You should release this on audio.. Shhit.. I enjoy the Advice you gave me on mine, and am grateful for it.. Likewise and to yourself.. this is about my 5th time reading thru it again.. Powerful yo

*props*

uppin

thanks for the feedback, keep it coming

both verses was hott....Sammy shyt was hott...flow was aiight...good werdplay...Carl ya shyt was nice too...flow was a bit off but itz gravy...but im feelen tha topc good shyt b...EZ

pretty good piece, some nice wordplay and vocab here.. Structure was a little off in both verses but thats not too much of a problem.. good emotion and consistency..

overall : 8/10

It wuz Ok to me. More poetry, like u put some passion into it. Try using more of the basics, Multis etc.

yall was allright together but im tryin to see the solo.NO HOMO

Good shit from the both, nice werdplay and shit and the flow was pretty good ...RTF

*All feedback has been returned*

yo tight stuff maybe a couple of lines were simple but shit was flowing 2 da end

PHILLY stay up

this was good but not much more then that. you need to work on your word choice. it seemed like you would say things assuming people had the same feeling as you. you cannot do that, you need to go into more detail and paint a picture so people do see it as you do instead of assuming they do. also work on putting in a few more multi's

dude that shit was nice and everything was put together amazingly..

Yea pretty good nice topic nice flow try taking it to the next level i think U good enuf well hit up my battle if anything im at frontlines 1

this was a nice colab... the flow could have been better, but nice vocab to get the concept across....

Sammy's verse was tight, Carl's verse picked up heat at the end. Props to the both of you, great topic- good use of words throughout.

yeah, i liked that. but i have to agree with whoever said painting that picture. maybe you could have both taken different viewpoints, it was deep though, yo. i felt it. great introduction for sammy.

Thats tight... are ya'll in a crew? but um... ya i was feelin that

Thanks for the feedback.

this was a nice drop. good collab, i'd be interested on collaborating with one or both of you. i couldn't feel the flow too much, but you guys had great imagery and the feeling behind it was good. i am a huge fan of multis, which this was sometimes lacking even though at some points it could have been done easily. i liked it though. keep up the good work.