Lady Lazurus

You’re finally dead to me
In a white, feathered gown
Of a vague, pale memory

Shut up, stop speaking
Your voice is drowning out
Your faint heart beating

Frailing and ail
Your soft kiss with a raspy tongue
Leaves the passion stale

The music pulsates
Whether Korn or phonograph
I’ll find your ghost in the hallways

I’ll find your love in life
- In my sickness and in my health
‘Til your poltergeist is dried ice

Your perfume is vomit
Let me choke up the remnants
Of my adam’s apple from my stomach

Your hair is frayed noose
And I can feel your silky throat
Grasped in my hands in the form of GreyGoose

Cluthing your locket
I find your honesty and trust
With a broken condom in my pocket

I think I broke the cycle
When suicide took your life flow
In your stormy eye’s tidal

At the seams of time I tug
If you don’t have any more love
I hope you crumble to the floor

So I can sweep you under the rug.

yea this was nice, real good flow, very interesting read.

Read this.

iz pretty coo. nice short mettas.. i wrote something similar in Haikus today.. so it appeals to me.. the way you delivered the words was good

your perfume is vomit... ha ha

Up. Drop links or something.

pretty good, nice stucture great flow no foced rhymes at all, good emotion good imagery, nice style, made me feel inspried to write somin like this again, lol, keep doin more i would like to see more from you

RTF links in the sig pz

okay, first off, the name of this really grabbed my attention. Your really starting to impress me with your unique creativity, its very poetical and leaves me thinking. I really enjoyed this- the words you used, the style of this as well as the unique way you approached the topic. It created a real feel of your emotions in this. Very nice imagery I might add also. Cool stuff. Keep it up.

peace,
Mez

I had a long essay-like reply to this yesterday, then my computer died on me. :(

I was impressed with the depth of this piece. And it was kind of broad in a way - you kept things open, didn't expand much on the literal, but the voice was such, that it left the poem open for the readers to draw their own conclusions. It was basically the way that you left the greater metaphor open to interpretation, that made this into a very very good drop.

Very creative work, a good piece to finish with.

- Dan.

Isnt it spelled Lazarus? Anyway, this was definately unique and original. At first i wasnt feeling the rhyme scheme and short stanzas but now i like them.

"your perfume is vomit" is a really abrupt change in the mood and tone. I didnt really like that part.
The ending was a cool way to tweak the style and close this piece. Yeah, i really like the ending. The imagery was good in this, it provoked a lot of images in my head. Emotion was definately there. I like how this was real open to interpretation too. Metaphorically this can be twisted into lots of things.

-good drop, interesting

it was good

^don't freepost
leave good feedback hoe

-Mantra

Thanks for the looks, appreciate it, and to Ex, I will hit that up.

Wow this was dope man...really strong imagery in this and it seemed like every word was selected perfectly, near-flawless word choice, i liked how u made it slightly hard to grasp, you didnt just give it to the reader you alluded to the point in a lot of lines, also your structure and rhyme scheme was dope and made the overall impact of each line greater, overall a great read man...if it isnt trouble check my piece "My Love Poem", much love man, nothing but respect for you, elevation is key, 1luv.

i really wasnt feeling this all that great

Don't free post again
leave good feed or die

-Mantra

but one think i forgot you have great emotion
why didn't you edited your first post?
Don't free post again
leave good feed or die

-Mantra

Wow.

I hate black folk. By black, I mean white. :)

interesting metahpores. Really wierd poem it's prespectives are almost frightning... but i really enjoyed it it was a nice original touch. You expressed your emotion nicely without telling too much. Kept it i thought just the right lentgh it had a nice flow too it... all around this was a dope peice... keep it up Spoken.

this was dope....booked
*has no idea what that means just
trying to sound like a bboy head*