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Weakness
Mind poisoned by irrelevency tainted with the blood of a thousand tears,
Stained in hatred, pointed blank, no influence to deafened ears,
Nothing to follow, nowhere to lead, heart beating to drums of an outlaw,
Pleading in silence for freedom of speech yet perfection, never sought,
You knew not to rely on dreams, for dwelling is downfalls root,
And in believing in own self esteem life was spent on deaths pursuit,
The route to moral justice was flanked with political soldiers, tamed and mute,
All footmen of a vexed regime, marching to the sound of mainstreams flute,
In dispute of war and goverment, yet no voices to speak the truth,
All were blamed for Rulers reign, accepted punishment through salute,
Enforced alligence to majority, where democracys vote was overruled,
And the minority who spoke up were indefinately shot by angers fuel.
In a cruel and heartless system where superiority spanned,
It was easy to spot the weakness, and the dependancy of man.
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someone? i need somebody lol
this is a cry for help
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topic was nice, you described it in every line very well...emotion was also pretty strong in this. multis were there, there 's really nothing bad to say about this. i was liking the last 2 lines, but yeah this was a good peice.. nice drop!
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this was tight...best lines in my opinion
"The route to moral justice was flanked with political soldiers, tamed and mute,"
and
"All were blamed for Rulers reign, accepted punishment through salute"
I thought those lines held a lot of value both symbiolically and metaphorically
...overall this was a real nice piece Fanta.....wordchoice and vocab were
nicely done...and the vivid imagry was good..emotion was good....
Nice to see you back...havent seen you in a while
-Lyric
please peep
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176291
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yeah, i floated out on the horizon a while, but now im back and better than ever..waiting for recognition
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I think you are my favourite poet, lol.
This was very nice piece, your expression of words surpasses almost everything else I see here now.
Overall, this was excellently done, keep writing because in time you'll get even better.
9/10
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first time i read one of yar drop,but i'm no that long here though...yar drop it's good!yar vocab,the words ya used,the ideas...really made me feal yar emotions.it ain't that long,but ya squeezed much in there,many ideas and feelings."And in believing in own self esteem life was spent on deaths pursuit"-really deep man,good writtin.what i liked the most is that it had philosophical ideas,some deep,which bring out the best emotions inside the soul.
please return the feed
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176263
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this seemed different to what im used to these days, aint checked in OM for months, seems more poetic that i like, maybe cos all i write these days is for audio, asides from that seemed decent, maybe stretched a bit, but technically sound
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oooh thanks guys you all love me today lol
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Return the feed! :mad: ;)
Get at me for a collab
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Nice job, deep shit man. Great poetry
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Yo This Is Possibly The Best Poetry Piece Ive Seen In Years
On Some Real Shit I Just Read And Gazed At For A Couple Min.
After Definitely Some Dope Deep Shit Man The Lines Were
Very Expressive And I Was Well Aware Of What I Was Reading..
Keep Up The Good Work :thumbup:
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The flow this piece had was great and the vocab was just amazing. I loced the read hopefully you would post more.
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i guess from the replies this was one of my best yet? yeah, ive accomplished summat!
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Yeah this was definately a nice piece.. Good rhymes and flow but it did have a hint of poetry as previously stated. I enjoyed it though, the poetry worked well in this context and it illustrated your writing capabilities. I haven't seen many of your other pieces but I'm guessing this is one of the better ones.
Nice work.. If you could check out "Trinity..." in my sig I'd appreciate it.
Peace
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woah i love you guys...am i a legend of the month then? :)
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i like this so im gunna up it again.
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im being too cheeky asking again lol
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lol i love the way you & My Shortie right, yall find the Illest Vocab & really manage to Multi them.
Very nice Wordsmanship here, Impressive indeed
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