The Game of Fear.

The Game of Fear.

Under the ladder to the attic, the drops get loud
And shift sounds, to an echoey pitch : drowned-
By frightening squeals, and sounds of a struggle-
That sound, somewhat, bound and muffled.
I entered the attic, stumbling - the ground is rubble
& as I look around, I see I’m bound for trouble.
The thick dust in the air makes me gasp & heave
I scan the room to no avail - so I light a match to see.
The floor is covered in books on human anatomy.
‘Blaspheme’, I think, when I see a broken cross
I notice my focus loss right before my finger burns
“Damn Match!” Your probably think I’d learn-
But no: I strike another match and keep straight,
But I cant see five feet ahead of me for peat’s sake.
The match burns my finger again and I cant see
“This cant be”, I think as I see four beams of light
& as I get ever closer, someone seems to cry.
The sound is from around the light beams..
I continue to move forward, & hear light screams-
Until I reach the source: A rusted, metal fridge
Chained shut with a new lock on one metal hinge.
Four tiny rust hole are where the light was from
My body’s here frozen as my mind tries to run.
“Someone in here”, I say as I kick the refrigerator
Maybe a girl & god sent me hear to save her?
The squalling gets louder - so does the struggle
Blood drops hit the ground - My luck, too :-/

Damn real estate agent..
..I should have known this deal was trouble

Yeah, this house is worth 200 thow
But for 20 Gs cash, you can have it now
Wouldn’t you be taking a loss though
Not really - Realize that I’ve got doe
I just want to get out of the country soon
But on the top floor: don’t enter that room
That may seem a bit tough
But I’ll have someone in 5 days clean it up
Until then, don’t worry: Just chill
Then we shook.. and it was a deal

Now I’m in front of this big blood leaking ice box
Before I open it, I give it one last light knock
Then, I take a deep breath and kick the tight lock
The fridge opens & my lower legs get covered in red
I expected a damsel, & found my best friend instead
He was tied up & fighting his chains
As I pulled his bloody body out, he spoke in pain:
“They’re coming to kill us! They want us dead!
They said that they wanted both of our heads!
..Man, are you scared?” I replied: Hell Yeah!!!

“Good... cause you’re on Scare Tactics!!!!”

He laughed as lights illuminated the dark attic
Cameramen started to walk in - I just spazzed out
And in a daze, all I remember is that I passed out

Noone here can understand how deep my pain is
So I want them to pay dearly for my mental anguish

I’m suing for 20 million dollars.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...zzzzzzzzzz.png

Writer's Note: I havn't written an OM in months. I entered a league and the topic was "you notice something wierd about a refridgerator in the attic".I've always wondered if scare tactics would take it to far. If you've seen the show, you know what I mean. I took it from there. I think I'll work on my rhymescheme more in my next coupld pieces and I'll shake the rust off pretty fast. Thanks for reading.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175560
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175499

this was tight. was it for hhs?


anyways... if so i will prolly vote on it,

it was acool story, and i liked the humor in the 1st verse.
witty, i didnt expect it. ok flow, but word choice was odd.
it was good tho.

Great story. Kinda long for my liking but it was well written so I didn't get bored going through it. Interesting topic too. cool ending.

Ps.- i think they take it to far on that show too.

Yep, it's for HHS.

Na, I love the show. Lol. I'm waiting for someone to snap though.

quite nice man...

i liked the story, nice twist in the end, i didnt really expect that.. nice concept as well, havent ever really seen anything like this here on rb..

the rhyme scheme was dope at parts, the multies made the flow seem real smooth along with the content which was great..

ill be lookin out for more of ur stuff..

and please hit up "seeing satan isnt simple" in my sig... quite old, but meh..

peace

This was tight you kept the story interesting most of the story raps on here lose there way half way through the ending was a great twist.
The structure and vocab were nice and youve got a nice flow there was nothing in this verse that i can really hate on. GOOD DROP.

Return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175486

^I replied to both. Up.

I liked this, alot!

Nice imagery, nice vocab.

Flow was good and so was the structure,

I liked the sense of fear around this piece

Nice peice, keep it up

Damn, my computer going slow as hell, but anyway..

Wicked is back. I liked this a lot. It's like you haven't missed a beat. Feeling this definetly. This was simple yet effective.

Under the ladder to the attic, the drops get loud
And shift sounds, to an echoey pitch : drowned-
By frightening squeals, and sounds of a struggle-
That sound, somewhat, bound and muffled.
I entered the attic, stumbling - the ground is rubble
& as I look around, I see I’m bound for trouble.
The thick dust in the air makes me gasp & heave
I scan the room to no avail - so I light a match to see.
The floor is covered in books on human anatomy.


Haha, ya know. I was thinking you were going to be rusty too, but you haven't fell off one bit. Golden Proportion Oh yea. Imagery was there. And your wording as usual is nice.

Nice Work. Check out my piece when I drop please.

-Nique

^Done. Up.

This had a nice flow. You were very descriptive, which helped develop the story, which was very interesting. With the topic given you, you took a creative angle. I liked the ending, switched up the mood real quick.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175493

This was good, it sounded more like poetry, but that might just be me... it was very detailin and creative.. multis and emotio nwas strong throughout the whole verse...had a nice storyline. was likin the last few lines.. you came pretty good in this, nice drop!

Good Job Wicked
nice imagery
dope flow
crazy internals omg multis sick
that whole verse was str8 raw!...
....
^person who wants a post would type that...
...now lets be serious

Over all Wicked the verse itself was very very sick indeed.
The flow was completly flawless in my opinion and the story
line fell together nicely. Another thing I liked about this was
the imagery, it actually felt like a horror movie kind of like saw?
dunno if any of you saw it. Anyways this piece was very dope
no rust here for the W1, keep this shit up man cause well...
...Dope!

-out.

This was dope wicked I so couldnt tell where this piece was going. But when you got to the part where you shoke the guys hand i didnt get that part that much I couldnt tell where that played into the story. But nice job I liked it

LMAO.

It was funny to me.
Dope wording and everything.
Welcome back Mr. Black.

OM.Month.Nod.

Check mine.

To Be Honest I Didnt Think It Had Good Flow At All,it Was Put Together Aight,but I Felt Like I Was Reading A Page Of A Horror Novel.im Not Hatin Still Good.

This was dope, don't listen to these noobs - *looks at post above* :rolleyes:

I liked the voice you took, it was unique, and I liked the way you built towards your climax. The storytelling attributes of this were phenomenal, and I could picture it, maybe just my crazy imagination, but it came across as a kind of old horror film, with old-fashioned film noir style photography. & the text "flow" was on point, it really was quite elementary, but fairly well worked nonetheless.

EDIT: I just signed out of the topical league on HHS, but I'll take a look and maybe vote on this, and a few other battles.

Thanks for the reply on mine man. :)

nice drop.a little too long considerin the shit that happen there.nice ending,but can't say ya've done a great job with the story.wasn't that interesting,but it was ait.keep it up!

this was nice...but im sure you know..lol

Thanks. Reread it Fore. You'll get it.