-
Anticipation
Feelin anticipation....and I'm ready to blow
I'm fearin what I really don't know
All this tension in me is now built up inside
extra attention to how my thoughts divide
is applied, to who can I truly confide
to end all of my stored anticipation
I need to do more than simply waiting
I'm going insane as my mind's creating
added strain is put on as I'm debating
what it is that I should plan to do next
looking at possibilities from all aspects
but to my dismay I'm surprised to find
that everyday I seem to be inclined
to dwell incessively on the negative
not successfully find a way to live
but still, until this event finally occurs
I will, not be able to clear my mind's blurs
feelings from thought to action transfers
Feelin anticipation....and I'm ready to blow
I'm fearin what I really don't know
when the experience is over, I feel an emotional release
my anticipation decrease gives me a certain inner piece
that can only be achieved through my own goal completion
having not believed in yourself leads to self-control depletion
now that is over, I go back to working on life's other problems
along the way keeping track of how I was able to solve them
make sure I learn my lesson, not the same mistake twice
I just seem to be pressin, to have my decisions be concise
take this verse as a blessin, and I hope you use this advice
you shouldn't be stressin over the mind's defensive device
that is to try to start messin with your thoughts only to entice
you to start obsessin, when what you already have will suffice
Feelin anticipation....and I'm ready to blow
I'm fearin what I really don't know
-
-
Good Shitt Homie....That Wuz Nice... Your Rhymes Were Sick, And The Wording Fitt Well.... Keep It Up.... ~*.One Love.*~
-
I definitely was digg'n diss hrrr, had vry nice wrdplay, went straight @ ur topic, & did ya thang,
keep it up.........
rtrn da fav.R:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=174326
-
Good shit kid....i was feelin it, great flow, and structure, Yu have alot of great potential.....but great job man...return the fava on ma sig
-
liked the way the words flow, and how you repeated the couple of lines that you did throughout the post. it was nice, i liked the end when you say what you have will suffice, kinda ends the post smoothly, good job
-
luv it, dat deep shyt dawg. i would love to see some more of yea flow'z
-
only thing you had was rhymes... waht happened to multies? punch lines.. etc... its ok though
-
nice shit bro.liked the flow,good structure on the piece.olso ya had some good worldplay and some good ideas,not like others sell crack,kill ya,fuck ya,where my bitches at,ya know?keep it up!
return the fav
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175705
-
I like this quite a bit man, lots of very good vocab strutted around the verse and I love that; a very good subject, one that "good" human beings otta be able to understand having lived any sort of life in this country; Keep writing the fresh shit, that's what I like to see.
Oh, and so I give you something to work on, I think that you just need to reword some of your lines a bit to keep it flowing, it sounds a little forced at times even though the basic rhyme scheme does a good job; at some points the poetry leaks through and dissolves the rap, which isn't what you want since it's supposed to be vocalized and listened to, not read.
-
1st verse, topic sounds good, something new. multis were good.. emotion was there, i dunno lines seemed a bit to short here, but that might just be me.. got creative with the lines..
2nd verse, lines got longer. was a more detailin verse, had good multis. again, the emotion was good. i like the last 4 lines, but yeah this was a good drop.. the little hook fit it perfect. nice drop!
-
-
*all links have been returned*
keep the feedback coming
-
Flow was good and the feeling was nice to - how it built up. I hav
e no clue what you were talking about. The second verse made me think it was sex/orgasm but the first stanza turns me another way. Maybe I'm just slow. :-/
-
PS. Boooo@the big kid. Crazy, you shouldn't have returned the favor. That fuck didn't even read your verse.
-
shit was hot and it had a whole lot of vocabulary dats good
keep this shit up dude .....one
-
ay, it had a good flow man but work on your creativity, your using simple words that just rhyme. bring some thought into it, look for any places you can be creative to fill in the gap. nice little piece, keep working...1
-
shit was nice...losta multies...stay up...~1~
"when the experience is over, I feel an emotional release
my anticipation decrease gives me a certain inner piece
that can only be achieved through my own goal completion
having not believed in yourself leads to self-control depletion"
shit was nice
-
i thought this was a nice drop ..... good rhyme scheme n nice wordplay.... vocabulary was good too... nice overall story kept me wantin to continue ... ~one~
-
-
uppin for feedback, I'll hit up your pieces
-
like that bro, u got some vocab w/ dem rhymes, i like how u did that lil chorus, meanin behind everything
-
This was pretty good, I saw the emotion in it... Like a trully felt feeling on what you though about the subject. Not to mention to structure was displayed nice, the bigger you got: you kept with it even better. So this was a nice read, the rhymes were nice sounding too. Not perfect, but they were better than most's vocabulary. Nice work.
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176338
^ thanks.
-
When I read the forst verse I though it was about a persons first sexual experience. But as I read further I think your were talking on a much broader scale. I think It flowed together very well and you were very detailed in ur description although I do think u could have upped ur vocab a little for this piece. But overall it was syill a nice drop. Keep doin ur thing.
Return the Favor...Check the Sig...Keep Elevating
-
uppin, ya horny mutha fuckas, lol, its not about sex
-
yea i like this, good flow, real good vocab. imagery on point......1
-
sik use of word play, to the point, confusing yet so damn satisfying. but thats the beautful thing with poetry, it causes you to read more than what your words are saying. nice shit man very nice.
-
This was good... Good flow throughout. But I'm not sure I really got into this... I don't know why. This is clearly just me because everyone else seems to have really felt it and connected with it. That, however, by no means takes away from it. I think it could've perhaps been expressed a little better or differently but that's purely my opinion. It was definately a nice piece and it showed you could write well but maybe adding a little more complexity would help. The structure was good also.
If you could check out "Trinity..." in my sig I'd appreciate it.
Peace
-
Shit double post... Sorry
-
yea i was really feelin that tha first few barz grabbed me in and you aint weaken in it i aint really think you had to add many other multis n shyt but it still was hot ~1~
-
content was tight...
nice vocab, but personally i felt u forced it a lil bit
work on your multis... rhyme scheme was alright... i don't like how u rhyme 3 lines.... but i like the internals you through in at the end
doesn't seem like you wrote with a beat... frownable...
but overall was decent, i give it a 7/10
-
Good shit kid...Nice deoth and crap lol...Rtrn the fva and feedback on my open mic
-
nice shit...i liked da wurd usage an erry thang else
-
Word This Was Aiight Ya Flow Was There U Should Have Made It More Complex...
-
im feeling this great imagery good stuctures some alright vocab great syllable count this was a great peice most fo all the 1st verse had a nice flow and syllable count for it, tight ass ish here, pz
RTF links in the sig
-
that was some hot shit i was feelin ya message
-
thanks for all the feedback
-
Word Play Was Nice And Rhymes Off The Hook Nice Piece For Sure....Good Shit..Peace
-
nice flow, and i can def relate, i got a piece omin out wit same title. i enjoy the wordplay, and how you made every line worth reading the next. good job man...
-
that was tight thanx 4 the feed back on my freestyle
i will take your advice
