Seeing Satan Isn't Simple

Seeing Satan Isn’t Simple

Fell from the light, to the shadowed depths of the mind
Since love for good arrived with millions, but left with a dime
Who’s makin’ it happen? Makin’ him scorch in flames with a passion
Uprising powers of evil pushed limits, & came with disaster
How could one not vomit blood…
When having incinerated & erupted lungs?
How could one’s life not get struck & fucked…
When his soul is burned, & his evil identity creates another one?
A thought not thought on the whole, when the deeply scarred
Are glared upon by darkness, & soon witness who they really are
Could it be this hard?
Hell, he’s lost in it… And the line never crossed? He’s crossin’ it
He’s evil enough to tell you commitin’ sins is his oxygen
Walk through time & think, that if you become too lost, or too insane
A view from the clouds can’t even cure or sooth your pain
It penetrated his thoughts, when the truth just came
He stumbled across Hell’s path, & suddenly knew its lanes
Provin' that...
Street lights in darkness could lead you to your grave
Not a grave of death, a grave of insanity
A grave displayin’ images & visions of tragedies
And countless aspects of hatred, deep in your mentality
It pulls you down faster than gravity; the eye must, & has to see
How nightmares can occur in just a dream, then you wake up & it’s reality

Life changes in seconds, when you learn two parts of you
Coz the road to luminous light has a U-turn to darkness too
Sanity becomes what you should, & would lack
When the devil looks at you, you’re forced to look back

Anyone who opposed him now got slaughtered, sad to tell
Now he’s lookin’ for another part of his life to stab as well
The longer he remains alive, the longer his mind gets tainted
Shattered windows & a broken home, his conscious fainted
And that’s not my imagination
Those are the pictures his fists painted
And so lives anger, absurd but true
The result when God never turned on you, or even heard of you
The result of neglecting his existence, accept it or leave it
Coz people only remember God when they're in deep shit
So then darkness hugs you with wide arms & a warm welcome
Soon embers become the source of life in your bones & lungs
Now he's blind to the sun's rays blended in & visioned with
The light, because in Hell your mind doesn't recognize those images
Now flames crawl in the mind & heart with the blood, it's gettin' bitter
Because the moment he saw Satan, was when he looked in the mirror

Life changes in seconds, when you learn two parts of you
Coz the road to luminous light has a U-turn to darkness too
Sanity becomes what you should, & would lack
When the devil looks at you, you’re forced to look back

that was pretty good dude keep at it

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=173174
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=173090

felt deep, like it was an expierience u had, thought structure couldve been better, and you coulda reworded somet stuff, but it was ill and deep so 7/10

This was nice... The vocabulary was inconsistant but overall was good. It was hindered by the structure which sorta... took away from it. Some nice wordplay, emotion and metaphors made this stand out but it wasn't the best it seems you could've written. Usually I'd tell people to write longer pieces but in this case I'd suggest trying a shorter piece, toying with a more compact method of expressing yourself then you can condense your vocabulary and skills and you'll find it benefits your style overall.

Keep it up though man this was good...

If you could check out "You", "Messiah Complex" or "Trace" in my sig I'd appreciate it.

Peace

this is pretty decent or a lot of it is

some lines were quite excellent with poetic punch

how could one not vomit blood... plus many others were great

vocab could have been somewhat sorted out a little as it seemed to clash in sum sort of way


good stuuf tho interesting

holl@ ma new link


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=173053

This was another dope drop son.
The structure was fine vocab was tight, youve got a nice flow thats why i appreciate ya rhymes most of these kids cant flow on this board me you ansd a few others can and thats it.
It was just deep introspective emotional it was a really nice piece keep dropping.

thx man, i appreciate the feedback.. check ur PMs btw..

and vortex, ill hit that up as soon as i have the time, coz i need to study for a test right now..

dont worry tho.. ill remember.

peace

word, thanks for checking out my drop.


This was a really good drop, borderline dope. I really liked your approach to this, it was unique and creative. Your vocabulary was definitely above average and your flow was solid, with some nice multis. My favorite lines from each verse:

Not a grave of death, a grave of insanity
A grave displayin’ images & visions of tragedies
And countless aspects of hatred, deep in your mentality
It pulls you down faster than gravity; the eye must, & has to see
How nightmares can occur in just a dream, then you wake up & it’s reality

that was dope. ^

and then...

And that’s not my imagination
Those are the pictures his fists painted
And so lives anger, absurd but true
The result when God never turned on you, or even heard of you
The result of neglecting his existence, accept it or leave it
Coz people only remember God when they're in deep shit

those were dope as well. ^

I also liked the closing line, it ended your verse very well, and left me with a good impression. There's not much too critique about this piece, overall it was really solid and I feel it deserves an nomination for OMs of the month.

Good job, stay up.

thx alot for the feedback & nomination too, i appreciate it man..

peace

A thought not thought on the whole, when the deeply scarred
Are glared upon by darkness, & soon witness who they really are
Could it be this hard?
Hell, he’s lost in it… And the line never crossed? He’s crossin’ it
He’s evil enough to tell you commitin’ sins is his oxygen
Walk through time & think, that if you become too lost, or too insane
A view from the clouds can’t even cure or sooth your pain
It penetrated his thoughts, when the truth just came

and

And so lives anger, absurd but true
The result when God never turned on you, or even heard of you
The result of neglecting his existence, accept it or leave it
Coz people only remember God when they're in deep shit



another nice quality drop im feelin the OMs peeps are droppin lately... real good vocab all the way through to draw the picture for us.. a decent flow, you did go off once or twice but i wont hold it against you, cuz for the most part this was a real good consistant piece, and it was long which is kool, you kept the topic on its feet, nice work, peep this out plz
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172961

That was mad good, son. Keep it up. I especially liked the intro, it was very tight. It kept me interested throughout.

Nice Shit Man...I lIke How You Seem To Dominate What You Say....Flow Was Nice...
I Rap It To "Toy Soldiers"....Nice....Man....8/10...

uppin'...

will hit up all links as soon as i get the chance to..

Shiiit man that shit was crazy! dude that's sum scary ass shit right thurr! u got sum satanic issus 2 wor cout man! well i thought u rhymed it good, coulda picked a better topic cuz that shit is a lil gothic man... i would xpect 2 hear that type of song in like a rock concert or sumtin man but u know how 2 rhyme, ill giv u that... keep at it bro, the only advice i got 4 yas is mayb find a different topic man, lik urs had a good point 2 it and all but i unno i jus wasnt feelin it... but im gon say again thos rhymes was tight u hav a talent man... i'd giv u an 8/10 on that 1... nice work man

Dope...

This piece took a nice perspective on the whole heaven hell bit and was able to squeeze a good drop of reasonable views into a dope flow, the metaphors were relevant in imagery and the overall idea of this piece was original for the most part, you did a good job ending it too,

So overall a well done drop, keep up the good work

thx again for the feedback..

uppin

leave links..

Really impressed with this one. Your imagery was almost flawless and your use of vocab made the pictures almost jump off the page. The only suggeston that I might offer would be to work on your structure. Some of the lines seemed kinda stretched and that will throw off the momentum of ur piece. Other than that nice drop. Seemed to come from within and that always a good thing. Uppin ur next post.

uppin'..

ewww yur cookin up some vivid details right therrrr... but this was amazing my friend!

loved the half-poetic half-open mic feel to it, gotta nothin but love for this piece right hurrrrr

last time uppin'..

This was decent shit. Rhymescheme could be a little stronger, but desides that, it was ok. Keep writing.