10 - 16 lines
no biting, feeding, hate votes, dick riding
check in by tuesday midnight, UK time
drop by wednesday midnight, UK time
current UK time = 16:00
good luck
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10 - 16 lines
no biting, feeding, hate votes, dick riding
check in by tuesday midnight, UK time
drop by wednesday midnight, UK time
current UK time = 16:00
good luck
Check'in in
whos spittin first ?
Ayo....Vapour is for air sertently not for Rapbattles, i crooked twist this bitch and leave im hanging like rattles. i leave u whiped wit fear and remorse to loosin to a newb, You keep playin wit the dogs, soon be breathin through a tube.... When you step on the stage and thinkin you spit a ill verse, it doesnt get better as it goes on, it only gets worse,
Cuz when you step up to gewyman u get fucked up
Cuts from the abuse and bullet holes from the backup
Now I know your prolly sayin, "damn this raps strong"
Well think about it, i actually know how to rite a song
I know i busted Vapour ass to the groound so far,
Because this wannabe M-C messed with a rap star,
Now i think i got the message i wanted across,
Forget about the polls, and give Vapour a loss
Done
Ayo....Vapour is for air sertently not for Rapbattles,
i crooked twist this bitch and leave im hanging like rattles.
Sry for the messed up lines, heres a new copy all fixed up
i leave u whiped wit fear and remorse to loosin to a newb,
You keep playin wit the dogs, soon be breathin through a tube....
When you step on the stage and thinkin you spit a ill verse,
it doesnt get better as it goes on, it only gets worse,
Cuz when you step up to gewyman u get fucked up
Cuts from the abuse and bullet holes from the backup
Now I know your prolly sayin, "damn this raps strong"
Well think about it, i actually know how to rite a song
I know i busted Vapour ass to the groound so far,
Because this wannabe M-C messed with a rap star,
Now i think i got the message i wanted across,
Forget about the polls, and give Vapour a loss
OMG im fuckin dumb.....
Ayo....Vapour is for air sertently not for Rapbattles,
i crooked twist this bitch and leave im hanging like rattles.
i leave u whiped wit fear and remorse to loosin to a newb,
You keep playin wit the dogs, soon be breathin through a tube....
When you step on the stage and thinkin you spit a ill verse,
it doesnt get better as it goes on, it only gets worse,
Cuz when you step up to gewyman u get fucked up
Cuts from the abuse and bullet holes from the backup
Now I know your prolly sayin, "damn this raps strong"
Well think about it, i actually know how to rite a song
I know i busted Vapour ass to the groound so far,
Because this wannabe M-C messed with a rap star,
Now i think i got the message i wanted across,
Forget about the polls, and give Vapour a loss
Yeah you are.
ur 14 and not in school ?
why post your verse 3 times ?
Anyway ......
The kids using to much self glory … giving himself to much credit,
He just went to use some more and found he’d ran out of direct debit,
When answering the callout you hyped yourself up, head up in the sky,
“Still got skills” … the only skills you got you got is knowing how to self glorify,Quote:
Originally Posted by GeWyMaN23
So bad that if given the set up in the world you’d smack it the whole 9 yards,
You’d try and re word it so that it fits your crappy standards,
Checking your battle history, whats happening with your structure,
Where your lines end it’s a mystery … it really does look immature,
In the future you got two choices … you could retire or punch hire,
Apart from those two extreme elevation … which you seriously require.
NOW VOTE ! :mad:
Both were well structured and had great vocabulary in them, but I wasn’t really feeling two of Vapours bars.
“So bad that if given the set up in the world you’d smack it the whole 9 yards,
You’d try and re word it so that it fits your crappy standards,
Checking your battle history, whats happening with your structure,
Where your lines end it’s a mystery … it really does look immature,”
No doubt that these bars rhyme, but if you break them into sections there far from rhyming. These two bars lacked just a tad bit of flow even though they rhymed in sort of a way.
I especially liked the first two bars, it’s always great to see the first lines of a verse that really catch someones attention. No doubt both pieces were good but Vapours had some flaws. Both of your verses lines were a bit off and that was a downside.
V. / Gewyman
I disagree Carnage, I believe vapour won this.
GeWy: Your verse had a lot of self glorifying moments, made threats, rhyming got worse, and your overall punching ended before half of the read... Your structure was alright but it just wasnt a good verse. Try harder next time to avoid Self Glorifying and Threatning lines.
Vapour: You have a good use of sentences... Your punches had good concepts but you needed better wording for them to correctly hit. Your structure was poor, and the flow was alright. Your verse overall isnt great, I mean good ideas but I'll need a better imagination to get them better. And Im high as shit yo.
v/ - vapour for coming harder
nothing
vs.
The kids using to much self glory … giving himself to much credit,
He just went to use some more and found he’d ran out of direct debit,
When answering the callout you hyped yourself up, head up in the sky,
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeWyMaN23
I still got skills
“Still got skills” … the only skills you got you got is knowing how to self glorify,
v/vapour
GeWyMaN-ok structurre, vocab needs work, ryme sceme was a tad simple, use multies and internals to spice it up a bit, need more punches, stop uppin ya self and threats in net battles is so herbish......blah.....just a half assed drop overall
vapour-better structure then Gweyman, vocab need a bit of hlep as well, ryme sceme worked, you also could throw in a few more multies and internals, had better punches and personals
v-Vapour
Ayo....Vapour is for air sertently not for Rapbattles,
i crooked twist this bitch and leave im hanging like rattles.
OK OPENER
i leave u whiped wit fear and remorse to loosin to a newb,
You keep playin wit the dogs, soon be breathin through a tube....
NOPE
When you step on the stage and thinkin you spit a ill verse,
it doesnt get better as it goes on, it only gets worse,
KINDA PLAYED
Cuz when you step up to gewyman u get fucked up
Cuts from the abuse and bullet holes from the backup
SELF GLORY
Now I know your prolly sayin, "damn this raps strong"
Well think about it, i actually know how to rite a song
GAYNESS IN A JAR
I know i busted Vapour ass to the groound so far,
Because this wannabe M-C messed with a rap star,
SELF GLORY
Now i think i got the message i wanted across,
Forget about the polls, and give Vapour a loss
PLAYED AS FUCK
The kids using to much self glory … giving himself to much credit,
He just went to use some more and found he’d ran out of direct debit,
NICE
When answering the callout you hyped yourself up, head up in the sky,
“Still got skills” … the only skills you got you got is knowing how to self glorify,Quote:
Originally Posted by GeWyMaN23
TRUE
So bad that if given the set up in the world you’d smack it the whole 9 yards,
You’d try and re word it so that it fits your crappy standards,
N2B
Checking your battle history, whats happening with your structure,
Where your lines end it’s a mystery … it really does look immature,
BIT UNPUNCHY
In the future you got two choices … you could retire or punch hire,
Apart from those two extreme elevation … which you seriously require.
HAHAHA
V/VAPOUR
all round better structure and flow and punches, all GeWyMaN23 had was rhyming, so vapour wins...
thanks for voting
uppin for number 5 ......
[1]
v/Vapour took this pretty easy better opener an overall verse other dude had 1 punch which wasnt really good..elevate think more about your lines set up then finish aight vote on this aswell
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=170838