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Minority
Read this all the way through or don’t read it at all
MinorityI realize that being a minority can make a person lethal,
When I was younger, I went to schools full of white people,
Now that was easy cuz I was white as well,
But I’ve reached a level of understanding, being a minority is hell,
I fell at the very same time that my family improved,
My dad got a job we left the bad neighborhood when we moved,
I thought it would be cool when I switched schools,
My first day in smiley, all I met were some bitch fools,
See I was known for playin sports especially football,
I remember standing in gym class, I heard someone whisper “look yall,”
They were were saying, “that white kid is the weakest in this place,”
I turned around to look.. and a basketball beasted me in the face,
All I heard were giggles, like a bullet when their laughs went through me,
I bursted in tears in front of the whole class, that shit had never happened to me,
And that’s not even the half of it just wait till it gets rough,
Only two white kids in that whole school and they still get us mixed up?!,
That’s some bitch stuff, and the worst part about that was we didn’t look the same,
Names didn’t sound the similar either, he was Tim I was John, that’s fuckin lame,
Every class I went to in that school, all I heard was black kids crackin white jokes,
Kids making fun of me right in front of me sayin “go back to the white folks,”
I just wanted everything to go back to the old ways,
It was like I switched rolls with black folks in the old days,
I started to hate black people and rap music, I was strictly white and rock,
But don’t confuse it yet the story isn’t over just let me talk,
I moved again and went to a school well blended with mexicans whites and blacks,
I changed somehow, now ninety percent of my friends are black, it was like god showed me somthin through those ‘white attacks’,…
Ill be back with links.............PLEASE LEAVE DECENT FEEDBACK..........i will do the same for any links you leave
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definately a tight piece. nice long lines, without getting overstretched. also i can feel this piece because i moved from new hampshire, where everyone was white like me, to the virgin island where hardly anyone was white. but for me it was a good experience. everyone was cool, and it changed my outlook on life. now i come back up here and it's just weird seein no diversity. but whatever, tight drop son. keep it up, and check out my latest, beautiful day, one
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This was tight, the structure and vocab were good but the flow was nice in parts and average in others thats the only thing wrong with it, the flow coulda been more consistent.
It was a cool short story some really deep and introspective emotion in there.
Return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=170524
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http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=169561
Link to feed on another open mic number one
And thanks for the feed
i was kinda sorta hoping maybe this could get nominated.......
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that was a very nice piece....i liked ur plot, good vocab,it flowed very well, and it had some nice rhymes, i enjoyed readin ur story.....
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Very nice ass piece, I dont know if it should be nominated, has a great point but I dont think its legendary. Its more of those things you share with ya homies... About ya past. Nice though.
Punches were good, flow was great, structure was meh.. You knocked that mother fucker straight out statty ;)
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Yeah it was good but at times I felt that the flow kinda just dropped off. Content was really good, I like the story. Rhymes were alright too. Keep it up bro
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im amazed a white person can capture some of the life of minorities. sine i came to america many places i have seen are inflicted with publisized racism but odly not from whites but from my own ethnicticity. never the less feeling composition content all factors are here and you really have set the tone for topical minded emcees i really felt this lil something.
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i liked this whole thing.. very good storytelling, very valid points, being a minority in the beginning, i felt it... steady flow nice vocab and good descriptions.. good topic as well.. id like to read more of these, stay up man... n peep this
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=170305
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its amazing how we can be thrown into the minority mix no matter what color our skin is, hell i live in texas in texas alone tha minority is now white peeps, black peeps are here but my mexican peeps are no longer the minority, anyway,tight piece, sounded a little too stretched, good imagery,nice wordplay,need better vocab, but other than that this piece was tight,keep droppin tha hottness.~1~
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that was good shit stat. solid as hell. some really nice lines in there man. kept the meaning together all the way down coupled with good structure, didn't make it too complicated.. gud work
blk.
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Up................................................ .please reply...........feedback needed
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dopeness, i loved the story and even tho i am 100 percent hispanic, i can relate to a lot of what you said. you made great points in the peice and i am empressed by your elevation. this peice kept me going till the end and i liked how u worded it. i most def felt emotion. the only thing u lacked was some parts were stretched and maybe your vocab could get better. i felt like when u wrote this, u were very angry and u reminist a lot which prevented u to give a better vocab, but it gave u a better emotional expression view.
keep it up. dopeness.
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tight drop bro.....as always.........
tight flow on this one....kouldnt find no stretched linez......i respect u a lot dawg....you da one that mainly helped me elevate....so thnx dawg!!!......overall i give this emotional piece 9.7/10.....koulda been perfect but sum lines were tight then went to average and then back to tight.......keep droppin dawg~~~~!!!
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decent storytelling, the flow came to be quite off at many points and the vocab wasn't that strong, i enjoyed the story cause i do notice that black people have grown to be more for segragation in these communities but i think it could have been better put and worded, it kept me reading though so i appreciate it in that sense, alright drop but theres room for elevation
please hit up link in my sig
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Thanks for all the feedback to everyone.......keep it commin
ill hit up links now
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This piece is good it has a nice flow and some really good points.
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**^didnt read it^**
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oh well kind of like an up that i didnt have to do............thanks for REAL feedbackfrom everyone else............pls keep replys commin
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Wake Up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im not uppin this shit no more but please give feedback i will return the favor and give feedback on any links you show me................