If mah name was in yo mouth.. this is for you

ahem..

i dont know where to start.. got so many heads on my dick
feature star to three disses.. n i aint even said shit!
get ripped, u pricks think ur nice? its better to mention
a few battles in the LLL.. n im the Center of attention
but fuck it now im provoked.. blows straight to the throat
expo won in the little leagues..
..............now he thinks hes great its a joke
get real..
Deja Vu in your mouth n you're gonna spit half ass heat
wait a minute.. didnt Feeble just whip ya ass last week?
two face punk, hittin me up.. Center ya gotta listen
your nice man.. i think you belong in The Composition
i should choke a bitch.. leave wire up under ya neck skin
why would i be down for ya crew? Ups in the other direction
plus Deon been on my nuts.. you can see it clear as day
ever since i said..
......havin 12k posts in less than a year is gay
i cant help it if thats your thing.. kool.. do you
i think ya just mad.. the shit i was sayin is.. too true
n Geno we kool.. its only for shits n giggles we said
so ill give u another bar, just for kicks.. to the head
u want chaos.. dont forget to calculate the blast toll
Where's Lay? the kids hiding in Shadows.. fuckin asshole
i rep Deja Vu.. the fuck, u think its some fancy gimik?
takin anger out on me.. ya just mad cuz u cant be in it
dont know what to do.. as punches reach through n bruise
stupid fucks..
everyone knows Deja Vu.. tends ta leave you confused


moderate effort.... for an open mic

replied to:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=170238
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=2062401

nice

another guy mentioning my name

give me 10 minutes, and you're through..

this was meh, other disses were better CS.

shit was pretty ass imo

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Center Sight

ahem..

i dont know where to start.. got so many heads on my dick
feature star to three disses.. n i aint even said shit!
meh
get ripped, u pricks think ur nice? its better to mention
a few battles in the LLL.. n im the Center of attention
ok
but fuck it now im provoked.. blows straight to the throat
expo won in the little leagues..
..............now he thinks hes great its a joke
Lol..
get real..
Deja Vu in your mouth n you're gonna spit half ass heat
wait a minute.. didnt Feeble just whip ya ass last week?
good
two face punk, hittin me up.. Center ya gotta listen
your nice man.. i think you belong in The Composition
lol
i should choke a bitch.. leave wire up under ya neck skin
why would i be down for ya crew? Ups in the other direction
Lol again
plus Deon been on my nuts.. you can see it clear as day
ever since i said..
......havin 12k posts in less than a year is gay
Lol...again
i cant help it if thats your thing.. kool.. do you
i think ya just mad the shit i was sayin is too true
nah
n Geno we kool.. its only for shits n giggles we said
so ill give u another bar just for kicks.. to the head
above avg
u want chaos.. dont forget to calculate the blast toll
Where's Lay? the kids hiding in Shadows.. fuckin asshole
good
i rep Deja Vu.. the fuck, u think its some fancy gimik?
takin anger out on me.. ya just mad cuz u cant be in it
ok
dont know what to do.. as punches reach through n bruise
stupid fucks..
everyone knows Deja Vu.. tends ta leave you confused
ok

moderate effort.... for an open mic

replied to:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=170238
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=2062401

---

overall this was good...not dope... but good... a lot of lines had me laughing. anybody who said this was wack is a hater... straight up. but dont let it get you down, you had a lot of funny lines in there.

CS knows im not hate'n... only on him a lil for leavn TNL... but thats diff. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Feeble Minded

overall this was good...not dope... but good... a lot of lines had me laughing. anybody who said this was wack is a hater... straight up. but dont let it get you down, you had a lot of funny lines in there.

---

Nah, I mean where he disses me[if thats what you call it] was pretty bland.

word. im just running my mouth tho nah sayin?

oh come on.. quit hatin damn.. i dont got beef wit yall this shit is for fun, im past internet beef, so at least if ur gonna reply to my shit do it like a man, i know i got some shots in so, whatever.. least be true to yourself lol its all about havin fun

"but fuck it now im provoked.. blows straight to the throat
expo won in the little leagues..
..............now he thinks hes great its a joke"

Love the flow and nice hit...

"i think you belong in The Composition
i should choke a bitch.. leave wire up under ya neck skin
why would i be down for ya crew? Ups in the other direction
plus Deon been on my nuts.. you can see it clear as day
ever since i said..
......havin 12k posts in less than a year is gay"

Hard hit , like the violent part...nice start...


"dont know what to do.. as punches reach through n bruise
stupid fucks..
everyone knows Deja Vu.. tends ta leave you confused"

Like the ending...


The ones I quoted were the lines
I really liked...

The rest was cool...nothing
really hard but like you said it
was a "moderate effort"

this lacked a lil you have talent no doubt but the punches had no umph no real hu8mor no bite you have composition talent your flow was there and you had great setups just the punches werelacking

i dont intentionally use punches in open mics.. for the record

read it........................................

i did and as i said i wont dispute your talent just point out where to elivate this was a strong peace

lol naw man the "read it...." was just in general for replies.. im glad u were honest, i know i dont use punches in open mics i like to use em in battles where they hurt u feel me? for a diss i just key whatever comes out, thanx for peepin

This wasnt bad you had a lota good personals but you shoulda made your punches hit harder.......still this was a pretty good diss to those kats ive seen dissen Deja Vu in other open mics.....i like that whole idea of dissing back and forth for fun on open mics... good flow and structure keep dropping.............

this was a good piece...I like this...though I feel that maybe you should have saved some of those hard hitting punches for a battle rather than an OM, Im sure youve got the stuff to pull more out your sleeve. Good disses and sense of creativity. Good use of mutlies in the beginning. Could I maybe make on suggestion?? This is a suggestion I often make to many people that do this....when you drop a verse, I think it works best when you dont use u or ur for you or your/youre or n for and or in.....Its just that it sometimes'll work against you if it throws off the reader, hence- throws off the flow and almost makes you have to take a second look. Just a thought, but besides that everything was sharp. Keep it up....

i liked it alot i mean it was better than good man dont be afraid to give the dude his props for him to go that long and then stay in subject and flow was still tight man yall gotta give dude a lil more than that was aight

here's my view on it, although there was a lot of big gaps and pauses in the layout, you managed to keep a good flow and it was able to add on to the set up in your punches through doing so. The punches themselves were simple yet the flow and setup increased the impact and that for the most part makes up for anything you were really lacking. Just to tell you though, due to the board's love for the real witty punchlines, many are ignorant in the sense that it has to have something you would hear coming out of chino xl's mouth so you might wanna brush up in that sense, but all in all it was dope

yea it was alright bro.........u had some pretty humorous lines in here........but it just wasn't my style..........iv seen better diss's but this one was ok...............just keep spittin and ull get better..........

Damn man, i was feeling this it had certain parts of this that was wow....It had real nice punches towards the diss..I liked the start.

I wasnt mentioned?

Smart Move.

smart move? like im scared of you? lmao
read the title, i dissed people who dissed me
you didnt diss me, there for no your not in it

I FUCKEN HATE IT
lol jk it was nice, I just wanted to say that caz the guy up there said haters will say that. I like it though and the wordplay in it was alright. Keep up ur shit.

I give it a 7/10

..Lol Ill have a OM on u in a sec center.

come on man, then ima have to diss u back n i dont feel like it
cant we all just get along.. ? i dont care if u dont like me
just dont beef with me.. try to keep it to yourself bro

LOLOL.


I dont feel like doing one right now.

See u in LLL again

i agree wit bio, that expo shit was crazy yo

I done been watchin this beef between da crews for a while now, good to c some beef to light up da OM.

This piece was aiight, not as hard hittin as Feebies was, but u came str8 on most of it. A coupla bars i dint feel, seemed like filler to me, but 3 or 4 bars were tyte. My favourite punch be...

u want chaos.. dont forget to calculate the blast toll
Where's Lay? the kids hiding in Shadows.. fuckin asshole

Dope wordplay and punch, made me laugh some bro. Lookin forward for em to respond.

Only thing i can think of is up some of ur punches a bit, i feel u bout its jus an OM but if u wanna slay them, then rip em up n leave da kids scarred like ur MJ or suttin nigga.

Keep droppin man. :thumbup:

1

plus Deon been on my nuts.. you can see it clear as day
ever since i said..
......havin 12k posts in less than a year is gay

I liked that line probably the most
It was an ok open mic, it wasnt anything to jump about
work on ur punches a lil more, and ur vocab is ok
and u need more imagery in it to
I give this thread a 5/10