14 linez
no hate
no dr
Topic-A Story Of Your Life
Due Tom. Before Midnight
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14 linez
no hate
no dr
Topic-A Story Of Your Life
Due Tom. Before Midnight
checkin in...and addin 250 plus posts to vote.......
word sounds good check in
CG pmed me and sked if we can post in two hours i said yeah so ill post in 1 hour
word
word.....and we will also be doin 20 lines......i will drop in about an hour also
I was a kid in the world havin forever hittin glory
I wasn't afraid of shit...
.......................Not even a Movie gettin gory
My Life was a Never Endin Story...beat by my parents
But i always knew what to do even
......................Before it ever seemed apparant
I went through my teenage years in foster care and jail
They "train"ed me said i always had a sister...
...........................But i lost her on the "trail"
I reached 18 years old and i moved in with my homies mother
But I never knew it was wrong cuz...
...........I didn't have a family..and nobody told me other
Got sent to jail after that...and wound up losin my girl
Got out...and sent backin cuz...
..........Therez so many mistakes to choose in the world
Did My Time In Jail....and then they sent me to treatment
Got my mind real focused...and really told me
........................................What "beat" meant.
Spent 5 monthz there, went "home" and back to school
Told all my friendz the real story just to get...
.......................................Back to "cool"
My Momz new husband promises me "I would die for my wife"
Went through some tragic shit there and tryed
................................Puttin Christ in My Life
Its true.
How you were treated when you were little is how
........................You'll treat ya children
And just when I thought life was safest "inside"
..................I Had To Retreat From Buildins
I Met a real nice girl..she said my "looks" had her crazy
Stayed with her for about 2 yearz...
............................And i was the dad of her baby
Late Changes
I was once super, now I’m wishing I lived the life I use to have,
now I cant even move my stance, & less use my hands
never thought I'd lose the chance...racing long but short hours
impact causing my downfall not able to handle the horse power
spine dont support downers...like the rest of my life was left out
I cant pout, cuz I got no feeling sensation from the neck down
ooooh what I would do to move these fingers again
instead I have my grip on life slipping right through my hands
cant even prove I'm a man...with a beautiful wife in need of lovin'
& if I had my tool working properly, she'd be needing nothin
living a stone in my portable thrown...though I myself can't move
plus I feel crowded & cant swing my arms for elbow room
its wrong…I was so comfortable, a star with a little muscular set
now my biceps are at rest & my schedule’s the only thing I can flex
a wealthy dude…that would trade all his money just to run
lets not get ahead of ourselves, using my legs just walking would be fun
I’m sufferin’…on what I build my pride on, the “S” best fits the icon
& now my chest is just there as a place for my bib to lie on
to lay against flat…on the wheels of steel in which carries me daily
the mind‘s a terrible thing to waste, its my ego that makes me crazy
but sanely…wish I could’ve used my body parts more effective then seen
Now In heaven A Story Of my Life as the late Christopher Reeves
uppin 1 leave links
Civilized Gangsta...Your had an ok drop...but all the techical flaws
'brought your verse way down....Spelling and grammatical errors
plagued yuor piece...also it was un interesting for a topical....be
creative...make some fun shit up
Tim Corleone...Pretty nice verse...it was interesting and an overall
well written drop from you...Good internals...and a solid twist at the
end....liked how you made allusions to superman in the first line...
Vote=Tim
please peep
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=169898
done uppin the second
leave your links
CG not a bad verse homie.... but i dont think u attacked this topic well not to knock down ur attempt.... but honestly it made me wanna stop readin it half way it was too boring for a topical... and whats up wit the way u construct ur bars homie... no hate intended at all
TC ur shit was more interesting.... good vocab n structure..... ur verse made me wanna read on throughout the whole thing.... plus ur twist at the end was dope
vote = TC can yall both drop honest votes on Felon-E Vs Skrollz
Damn..i actually thought this was a dope peice that i did...what exactly is it..that i need to work on?
Uppin 1
the structure and not making it so pedicatable and the mispelling of words you set it up like a battle verse also
uppin third leave links
CG - U had a pretty good drop..grammatical errors took down the quality..ur structure also made ur flow choppy which in turn made ur imagery kinda blurry.. 7/10
Tim - U had a dope drop..everything as on point..I like how u had people wonderin til the last line..I liked ur wordplay and how u still incorporated some shit tyo make people laugh..well done job..9/10
CIVIL is baned so fuck him...............................
vote tim
i dont see any links so uppin for the win
alright this is my last uppin
leave your links please
open:tim
closer:tim
structure:tim
flo:tim
lyrics:tim
basically I liked everything of tim's over civilized sry cg next time u'll get him!!!!!
v/ TIM
hit my battle in my sig vs skool not shizzle!!!!!
Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Celestial
Well its easy to see who won the battle. Gangsta the whole "............" thing completely threw off your verse the whole thing was a flowing mistake becuase simply put it didnt have any and ruined what good rhyme and ideas you had.
TC on the other hand had a good verse with good rhythm and flow and it seemed more fit for a topicall battle.