20 Lines Max.
Topic: "I live A Double Life."
Good Luck, Sweetie.
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20 Lines Max.
Topic: "I live A Double Life."
Good Luck, Sweetie.
Check..
Checking In.................................
Goodluck Eclipse :thumbup:
Double Life
A creature half drenched in shadows of night,
sodden with darkness, yet craving the light,
struggles painfully with its existance; always this way,
praying once more for the bless-ed new day
to wisk away its nightmare, what it had became
hiding its shame, but it stings just the same.
Sunlight provides some solace for it to hide in,
but the pitiful creature needs someone to confide in,
to hold back the evil, the fatal flaw in its soul
that swells after dark that could swollow it whole,
but tonight its too late to change its fate,
the evil monster has risen from its daylight sleep state,
and now laying dead and cold on the floor
is the body of a girl who is breathing no more.
Drenched in her blood, it stands in the moonlight
weeping at itself in disgust, awaiting respite.
"I Live A Double Life"
My situation varies from day to day, as I ignite my passion's incite
Wondering if this day brings the Good in me, or the evil in a new light.
Some people know me as the Young Gentleman, always striving for higher
The one that helped carry groceries, and sung in the church choir.
Yet others know me as a Hustler, with intense gambling emotions, per say
Always up to a new challenge, with my dirty tactics, longing to portray.
It's Funny, the ones that think I'm accomplished, equiped with a collar clip
Also think that I earned my college tuition, from an online scholarship.
They don't know the real me, they don't understand my motives today
That I Lie & Cheat my way to victory, and eventually killed a man to pay.
But this is my life, and even my family is obivious to the fact
That when I packed for college, I left all my manners unattached.
Now in college, still gambling, & nothing makes me feel a shout above legit
I wish I could back into time and change, 'cause now I want out of it.
I would love nothing more, my life has come down to going through waste
My family should have been notified, God, why am I so Two-Faced?
Why do I do this to myself and my admirers, Why can't I stop and think
About how I let everyone down in secret, stop & get my life in sync.
I have but one thing to do, and my future depends on this strife
My fight must become single, repair life, and get rid of My Double Life.
up.
ayo i can't vote yet but i wanna leave my opinion,
and now laying dead and cold on the floor
is the body of a girl who is breathing no more.
I liked this^^ Missbehaving i liked the way you handled your topic alittlemore. It was nice.
They don't know the real me, they don't understand my motives today
That I Lie & Cheat my way to victory, and eventually killed a man to pay.
^^I liked this eclipse cuz people really like that n shit and you had a good drop too but if i could vote missbehaving would take it
up...
Fuck you all
up.
Def poetry jam meets rap battles... Interesting spin.
I would say Eclipse was clearly more in touch with his life story. It was actually quite sad. I dun mean in a BooWho way either I mean a HAHAHAHA way.
Id vote Ecplise though, for spillin his guts about the anguish that is his life.
What the fuck...
up 3
Vote and leave links..
yo this was a good topical but my vote goezs to eclipse cause his was easiyer for me to invision and hit the topic harder good job by both though if it was any one else you brobably would have won
v/eclipse
up 4 you all suck.
^ lmao both came good not bad at all but in topicals I vote on who kept me reading and not boreing me out my mind and that would have to be ...eclipse... a good good read from beggining to end not bad at all man keep it up miss behaving you do good all the time and usually win but this time thought eclipse brought his A game and defeated you.....good topical yall.....
V. ...Eclipse...
^ hit the link up peace
I cant vote.....sry Clipse :/ Miss B's in my crew :hump:
In this piece...
I feel that Miss had a much better flow going with her piece. She had pretty good imagery as well, but he piece didnt really connect with me and the topic...it was a great piece, just seemed distant from 'A Double Life'.
E on the other hand...
You had a pretty good flow, a little off at times, but the way you described and told youre story of a double life was really nice. Didnt flow as well as Miss B's, but I thought it was a better piece in the sense of the topic...
Good Job to both of you...
V-Eclipse.
Last up..
Vote!
Blah... Miss Behaving was ok.
But Eclipse showed a better storyline IMO.
I was more interested in Eclipses verse
Miss behaving was alright, not not as interesting
Eclipse had me atleast semi-interested
v/Eclipse.
eclipse i vote for you only because your story was easier for me to see happening than hers and u had good feelin and emotion in your lines.....Miss urs was good, but I liked Eclipse a lil more.....
v/Eclipse
hit my battles in my sig both of y'all...