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Camping For A Weekened
camping for a weekend
it was a warm and beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky
the weather on the news said to expect a ninety five degrees high
i then thought to myself what a perfect day to camp outdoors
fondly excited i called a special friend who i happen to adore
and invited her to enjoy a weekened of camping in the mountains
she was usually fun and outgoing, but did alot of pouting
but none the less i really enjoyed her company
lately we havent had time alone, so i wanted to do something
and off we went set to go camping for a few days in the wilderness
to me it was fun and exciting, but to her it was just plain filthyness
we set camp at a small camp ground near a small creek
the site was beatiful , but the odor in the area really reeked
but i wouldn't let that stop me, so i spent the evening fishing
although lisa my friend brought her radio and sat there listening
to her favorite talk show, later we made a fire and held conversations
about our friendship and possibly relationship all the way to our vacation
then proceeded to our tents for some rest and shut eye
because on day two me and my friend travel on a 6 mile tough hike
it was now seven o'clock in the mourning and we got set for our walk
during that hike we came a cross a few deer and magnificent waterfalls
took a few pictures to record what we have seen
then made our way back to the camp grounds to rinse our selves clean
but on our way back lisa suddenly tripped and stumbled a few feet
she cry'ed outloud in terrible pain, but came to find out she sprained her knee
i carried her back to the camping grounds and bandaged her sprain
she got scared and continued to scream out in throbbing pain
we then had no choice but to return home to a local hospital for help
i can't say i was too happy because i wasn't feeling to good myself
i happened to receive a bunch of mosquito bites all over my body
it itched so bad i was reconsidering on making outdoors my hobbie
i must say the weekened started out pretty fun and enjoyable
i could of never thought lisa was so interested and lovable
it has now been six very crucial weeks since our crazy trip
lisa and i are considering going again, this time with an aid kit
so we are prepared for anything dangerous that may happen
i must say if lisa was to get hurt again, i would be saddened
but for now i will enjoy my time away from outdoors and wildlife
i plan on staying safe and far away from my crazy wild side
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It was a good drop and everything, but it didn't peak my interest. I like verse's that have a deeper meaning, you were just telling a story in a wordy way. The rhyme scheme and everything was on point; the subject just didn't catch me.
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You did a lil bit too much...you should beable to get ya point across in a cple of bars...it was aight tho dawg, save the best for last that how i feel
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overall this wasnt a bad drop...your flow was ok...and your structure build up was fine...i liked your choice of the topic..i think you handled it well..you worded most of your lines pretty descent..i think you did a good job on that...your imagery was pretty good also..overall nice drop man..
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It was an ok drop, but I think that you tried to hard.
The word choice in a few of the lines, was poor
It could have been better, but atleast you tried.
This drop had me interested here and there
but I kept getting thrown off. Which aggrivated me
But in the end, it was a decent drop.
Just work on the word usage, and try throwin in wordplay.
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some of y'all are on some dicks man.......this shit had no point
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Are you saying i'm on his dick?
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jizza is gay....
uppin this piece
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awwwww, I'm gay cause I didn't like your piece and I'm not scared to say it........
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How bout ya'll do a topical battle...
...then...
...winner battles me to lose :thumbup:
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lol i luh illunatic....
but no jizza is no compotition
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Lol.. alrighty then, skip him
And come lose to me (again) :laugh:
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Katotic, after reading this dumb ass Camping Trip shit that really nobody cares to hear, I would think that I could have a chance. I will give you competition, I guaruntee
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jizza set up a topical battle in FL
make a topic and ill be there
now stop freeposting here damnit
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I gave my input and you talkin' shit about me so I have a right to post here. Now, you basically challenged me and you want me to set it up........FUCK YOU.
