A beautiful proposal(hit n run)

A beautiful proposal

A cool night, swift breeze rattles free tree leaves
the deep freeze brings frost covered red cherries
I skip on a cloud of happiness and excitement
enthralled and delighted about how love guided
fog lifted and the star peeked through shining
shimmering rain fell through the city lighting
reveled a bright ring from my right pocket sleeve
bent down on one knee and purposed prosperity
harmoniously married with love and endearment
it’s weird when harts pulse so loud you can hear it
I feared this moment for what seemed an eternity
rays of procrastination burned me into activity
seen in vivid imagery gently gifted in my dreams
now im facing a new beginning begging the serene
take my queen grab her hand and grasp her finger
look into her eyes and try to comfort and please her
slip on my promise to love her forever creating felicity
crying started with teardrops portraying angel wings
as a shallow yes jumped out between a halted breath
blest by the best as happiness succumbed the distress
a kiss sealed our bond of love signified by flying doves
hug and complete the best ending anybody could dream of

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...44#post1896444
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=157668

that was clean, djb, i was feelin how you ran each bar into the next line and kept the theme movin without breakin stride. it's cool to see someone naturally puttin down some positive shit too. one.

thtas was pretty good DJB... i was feelin the emotion and the vocab and flow was there too... keep reppin boy
PEACE

thanks for the honest feed you guys. i appreciate it.

upping drops links and i will return the favor

that was beautiful, it put me there i liked how all the words flowed together
i loved it!!

thanks upping can i please get feed from a vet. lemme know about this.

bullshit

hmmmm i really liked this... the imagery was awesome... felt the wind on my face... ohhhhh yah good shit... but seriously, i can tell your elevating quickly... i enjoyed this peice more than the others ive read from you... keep at it... would have made it a little longer myself.. but i like how short it is at the same time.. dope drop man...

pz.

this was deep shit, i felt the emotion fo reel, i really respect ur flow cuz its real n i can relate to it. but i thought this was a really nice piece had me feeling the love like i wanted to get married...j/p but on the reel nice drop keep doin ya thang i could tell u was a nice lyrists when i met u in HNR good shit ~ one ~

thank you very much gentlemen and i must commend your nice work on your latest piece twixn. nice work man. nice to see you around here again g-money. long time no see. nice to get some decent feed.

upping for a lil more feed. don't worry im almost done with this piece.

Man, i know i dissed hit and run and everything but that shit was tight it had good... very good flow man.. a positive in my book with a good message.. two thumbs up my guy!

i know i am upping an old piece but i just cant let this one die out for some reason... i love it.