Tomorrow Doesn't Look Good Either (SS)

Robert was only 8 years old, and symbolized as a nerd
It's obsurred - everyday he'd come home complaining he hurt
At first, nobody understood the problems he endured
Everyday he prayed, for his pain to be cured
Day after day, things got worst. He got hurt even more
And every day he thought back, back to his life before
Before this brutality began, and he remembered being happy
But sadly, the longer he went unspoken. The more he got hurt badly
No longer tellin his mother, he ran to his daddy. - In search for help
His dad didn't understand, and the more abused he felt
He was confused, to much to tell. He felt so gully
He was ready to take action, to get away from his bully
But when he took action, he took even more from his beater
And he thought; yesterday and today were bad....
.... and as he feared, tomorrow doesn't look good either



My verse in Sacred Scriptures, which my opponet no showed.
Lookin for some sort of feedback on this.

Born to Kill - Buried Alive With The One You Love
Effect. - Who cares?

Lookin for feedback..

Come on people.

That was good man alot of emotion came out of that piece i could feel the lines which isnt always the case with most stuff. But that was good man, i liked the start most the first 4 lines. But yeah everything was there good drop.
Holla back and review my stuff
Peace

That was very good now i see why ya opponent no showed!!!Lots of emotion in this one...good vocab and structure...like this alot man i'll be lookin forward to seeing ya next post...keep it up...holla back

DaYoungsta boy!!! :shoot: :cussing: :shoot:

Appreciate the feedback, up for some more.

nice little peice there... really makes you feel for the litle guy... exactly why i dont stand for that shit... and i stand up against it.... no crazy vocab... but all in all it was a nice little peice... flow was there had some good internals... maybe some more multies and complex words would help... keep it up man..

:thumbup: Good shit. Unlike other mother fuckers that don't make since you blew it up. :spit:

Look fo my postings. Some day I would injoy battleling you.

Get some recognition first...

damn...nice verse, deep feelings....

probs...

-1-

Up...

:thumbup: Pretty soon you'll see me on top just a hold on iight

decent...not great.
to be honest i didn't feel it all that much.
it seemed pretty hard for me to get the groove of your piece.
the content really wasn't there, and the wording wasn't up to par.
no hate, but i know you could do better.

emotionally i thought the shit was tight. lyrically, it might have been a little forced. but i definitely think you came with some thunder as far as content went and posed some pretty tight questions. i was feelin it.

i liked it it was some real shit that actually goez on in the lifes of people i like realistic posts instead of readn fantasies ya heard keep doin ya thang man love

Up....