Soft Focus - 9/11 (Bloomquist & SpL!T)

9/11


Clocks And Hours Past Ash And Rock Our Whole Grasp...
Whores To Flash Backs And Pasts Of Dawns Born Black...
Glance A Look At Grand Towers In Sands Of Their Hours...
Stance Shook By Cowards As Fear Took A Years Power...
Remember That September Back Plastered Under Attack...
No Packed No Gats Instead Obscure Thunders That Crashed...
People Gasp Entrapted In The Brief Hold That Attacked Our People...
As Our Eisle Is Snapped On Nee Bones Of An Iraqi Hearts Evils...
Hurled Graves Just Fall Unfurled In Place Of The Worlds Legs...
Americas Tale Waves And Curls In Disgust Of The World Trade...
The First Plane, We Pray The Worst's Taimed...
As We Slave To Earth In Rebirth Of The Worst's Reign...
Now Scenes Of Moment Scream And Land In Cold Stance...
Debree Molds Lands And Streets As We Begin To Hold Hands...
Minds Intrept In This Sign Of United Lined By Dead Men...
Time Had Stepped In As I Cried Lyin' In Piles Of Nine Eleven...


Two towers stand tall with pride, in a city of crime and lies
As tries to reply to these times, of terror, destruction and rhymes
9 dash one one is the date, a day of horrible Nfamous fame
Keep faith and remain the same, for corruption will ruin the day
Be ready to face the skies, as 2 planes hover on by
And sounds of explosions reside,deep within the back of your mind
Don't try to deny, you saw it with your own weeping eyes
Onlookers despise our leader of states which they rely
Living in fear, that this accident in front of them isn't a dream
Video cameras rolling, babies strolling alone with a scream
A rumble, a tumble of earth, the ground moves away from the dirt
And towers fall down upon the shirts of the people alone, cold, and hurt
Death cascades across all of new york, as leaders complain and retort
But they resort to critical sorts that America's time has run short
Tears bleed everywhere, across the US, and across this bold world
It seams teams of everyone's dreams are gone and thier stomaches have curled
This day will never be forgotten, so many innocent onlookers gone to heaven
In a regret of demise and happenings, this is the story of Nine/Eleven


Verse 1:SpL!T
Verse 2:Bloomquist

Very Well Done On Both Parts Each Was Consistant And Complimented The Others Style Which Is Essential For A Collab All And All Nice Peace Both Hit Hard

thanks. Replies please? Also if any good topical heads wanna tryout for SF hit up our forum

And Thats Whats Up...
Oh Ya, SpL!T= Me...
We're The Same Thats Just My Old Name...
Bloom That Verse Was Beyond This Board...
Nice Job Mayn...

And You Heard It...
SF Is Looking For More Topical Heads...
This Is Just A Sample Of SF's Arsanal...
You Dont Wanna Miss Out...
Go Hit Up The Try Outs Now...
.One.

Decent piece

bloom's piece was a bit stretched at times, imagery was rather good, split is actually pretty decent, enjoyed his piece more than bloom's at times, splits flow was buttah at times, needs to work on his multies more to get a smoother flow, overall, keep it up

this was good...split came very nicely in this...bloom came around his average...i really enjoyed reading splits, but it didn't say all that much..lots of rhyme and a little bit of stretched meaning...btu it flowed very welll...

bloom came alright...he was focusign more on poetry than tight rhyme..he came alright


sorry about this crappy reply..my mom is tryna get me to do soemthing, and i need a reply for soemthing i posted...and i don't have time to reply as i would like..ille dit with better critique

You never get crappy replies man. Much appreciated. yea i didnt come as much as i wanted to on this piece, still trying to get into the swing of things. Go try out for SF if you a good topical head. Peace and upping

Nah Sayen?

This was a nice piece...
Split came with a nice flow... stayed really consistant. Topic has been done to death but none the less you guys made it shine.

my Fav Lines:
Now Scenes Of Moment Scream And Land In Cold Stance...
Debree Molds Lands And Streets As We Begin To Hold Hands...

Living in fear, that this accident in front of them isn't a dream
Video cameras rolling, babies strolling alone with a scream

Ab(split) came nice, had nice flow, ok imagery, had alot of emotion, not really a big impact on me, but verse was pretty nice.

Bloom:Shit was nice to me, flow fell off in some parts...if that was on a track shit would be dumb hot. Didn't show much imagery, but you also had lots of emotion in it. The way you had wrote it had made it had hit hard. Good shit.

Thanks to all

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=154673
help me out, leave feedback

this was not bad ,m the first verse a lil better like cross said, but they were both really good, a lot of 9/11 songs, but this was different somehow, i guess there was a lot of symbolgy and imagary , very phantasmagoric, the flow was consistant, and the two different styles complimented eachother

good job peeps

peace

This Collabo Was Sick..I Like IT..Reminds Me Of Me And My Boy BonaFide How We Used To Collab Like That With Crazy Ish..Nice Ish

Yea, this was definately good.

Split flowed really nicely, and had some nice vocab in his piece. Overall, it was a pretty smooth read, although the subject matter wasn't really anything special, it was still cool. You had some good multis, etc. However, I felt that sometimes, your message got lost under your wording and metas..not a big deal though really, i'm just being picky.

Yea..Bloomquist came about his average..which is good. Was a bit stretched in some areas, but as a whole, was a very nice read. Message was a bit clearer than Atticus', so yea.

Overall..this was pretty good. You guys complemented each other well.

Yes this was a pretty nice collabo. Agreed with what everyone else said.

Atticus - No extra-special lines that amazed me, but overall pretty smooth. Flowed nicely, and I could picture this being an audio which is the cool thing about it. Good job.

Bloomquist - Your part was a little more choppy, it read as if you were struggling to think of the next line all the way through. Vocab was good though, and you had some nice lines.

Keep at it both of you, for real.

1.

Its Been Done Too Many Times.

this collab had very good imagery, nice flow and they both did well on their verses its one of the better peices i have seen on many forums and it actually made me think back on 9/11 keep up the good shit :thumbup:

Upping This Shit...
Would Like Some Mor Responses...
.One.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sureal

Its Been Done Too Many Times.

---

True, I was thinking that as well, but they still handled the topic pretty well.

man's dun gud. I think both verses are pretty tight like, no outshining or nothing and both fit together like...... dunno, but it's decent!

Upping...
.One.