Universal Destruction

Scientists admit that the universe is being ripped
And the expansion of the quantum foam is becoming unzipped
But the transcripts of the astronomers missed one little detail
They failed to mention that a collapse has already begun to sail
Revealed by the tales of the Hubble telescope and the Holy Grail
Starting with a Rebellious Jew nailed to a cross over a false religion
Lost in the lies of Catholicism and in the scribes of a Christian
So God deliberately started a mission to dispose of those life forms
Who wouldn’t stop bitchin about their problems so destruction was born
So he started super nova’s to warn us about the forlorn devastation
But the creator’s nation wouldn’t respond to his notification and kept complainin
So he generated black holes for the matter to be crushed in destruction
And so our focus faded out to disgusting priests with boys they were touchin
The All-Mighty was provoked by these actions and sent fractions to attack
And look, our galaxies reacted by stretching into demolished bits of trash
And our universe began to crack…………
…..dark energy seeped into the material’s back and snapped its spine
so now every time gravity pulls more galaxies are hard to find
and to top it off our maker’s mind is beginning to explode like land mines
because the steps of crime are at an all time high and money is prime
nobody gives a shit about life-lines or the bind we are captured in
and because of this our divinity is willing let a rapture begin
and its killin me to see this killin spree of minds that are being taught by the church
its like a brain washing camp and it hurts when you can see the preacher’s smurk
since evil lurks our God decided to work his way into the universe and destroy it
we should abandon the clansmen of our religions and get this deployment avoided
If we don't our Lord will destroy it and we need to listen to his signs
or the cosmos will unwind and that would finalize the end and collapse of time


ill get links up

most of the shit i write is symbolizing shit im feeling deep inside. it was wierd i wrote this in likem 5 minutes, afterwards i was like damn, this was written based on our church

the background dtoyr is, weve been goin to this church for a while, a new one, and i was never a really religious person, i believe in god but not religion,
so, my mother was havin problems, and she thinks the church fixed it (i think she fixed it herself [mind over matter]), and now she listens to everyhting they say, like she listens to praising songs, and she reads the bible all the time, and she always has to say grace, and everything.

shes been going to this bible study group, and in the bible study groiup, they stated that the devil goes in people to bring out the bad shit in others, and the church actually said that the devil was in John Kerry, to portray George Bush as an evil man, and since she thinks the church helped her in all these ways, she now supports Bush, and she thinks he is a great man

and this pisses me off, cuz #1, the church can not legally "brainwash" people, and i think that it should be shut down, because of what they were doin #2, this is killing me, because it saddens me to see that my mother is relying on everything from the church, and that she isnt strong enough to make her own decisions #3, it is destroying my universe, because my mother wont stop talking about the bible, and i cant do anything because its against the bibile, and all she does is complain about me not believinbg in the church

and so, i wrote this


and theres the background story

peace

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=154036
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...52#post1813752

great originality here and definately the strongest aspect of the piece. the imagery was good, the vocab was great and you got a few multi's (are several rhymes of the same sound consider to be multis? im never sure) in here as well which were well-placed. my only problems with the piece are the font size which put a strain on my eyes to read and the bar length which i thought messed up the rhythm of the piece.

overall, a good piece. would like to see more of your stuff on here. keep elavating and keep posting.

if you could rep oe of my pieces i'd appricaite it.

fuck anything else this is poetry and hip hop fused in a manner so harsh it could be like its own movie this was powerful in every aspect and i saw no flaws

YES, finally i write a piece with no flaws!

I WIN!

haha just kidding, thanx tho man, i appreciate it so greatly, and thanx for the other feedback Johny

is it worhty of a legend?

peace

honestly on content alone i can see that i dont know how this site votes on legend but you have mine

thanx man, greatly

uppin

uppin

emotion, flawless, flow was tight, real nice multies. the verse had fine points in almost every corner. great piece man, every religion mentioned was question and defied with the wonders that everyone thinks in one point or another. you stood strong with your opinion and so it was obvious that you knew what you were talking about. great way to express it, i was feelin it well. props bro.

peACE

thanx homie, thanx greatly, you people have no i dea hoe much i appreciate feedback

thanx man

peace

uppin damnit

damn lovely ass metaphors
"And our universe began to crack…………
…..dark energy seeped into the material’s back and snapped its spin"
loved it

easily the deepest peice i've read in months i felt it all metaphors were nicely johnny is right, this is defintely legends material i'm nominating it

seriously, thanx man so much, i wanted to be a legend and ive been tryin, thanx man, greatly, i appreciate it so much man, thankyou for the feedback too

peace

damn, fuckin sad and ridiculous, o1 else leavin feedback, and i do give feedback to almost everyone who drops there comments in here, ask em, but 66 views and only 4 FUCKIN RESPONSES FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE, what the fuck is that, thats fuckinb ridiculous, when, not to sond cocky, cuz im sure as hell not, this is better then most fo the songs that you people keep posting in, and its really sad

uppin damnit

this is fucking ridiculous, seriously, four responses, this is bullshit, seriously though, how bout we just stop giving feedback toe evryone, i mean, mots of us dont get any to begin with, four fuckin responses, on something everyone who left feedback said was a legend, thats pathetic

yo good piece..readin this makes me wanna uppin my game and get to that point of writting...keep it sizzlin

thankyou for leaving feedback, ill def check one of yours man

uppin

you are right though man this is fuckin pitiful..all these ppl view the piece but no one has the respect to reply..that shit be pissin me off

yah man

and they said they were gunna nominate this, but you know, whatever tho

peace

OK, you wanna call this universal destruction/ nigga; i'll dismantle your function/ wit' the correct sway of sources/ break open "mikes" in seprete portions/ i'm on fire; torching (Mc's) wit' three hundred and sixty degrees/ I drink toxic and eat nails/ you get the picture?/ you dont need details/ I come from the "hood" nigga; so i light it up in the corners wit' females/ "got bucked once"/ so i got two gats on re-tail/ and invested in 9 clips wit' fully loaded hollow tips/ got beef nigga this young cats trigger finger is bound to slip

lol damn... just doing it for fun what you guys think

wut the fuck is this, i never do this, but someone ban him, first off, not just cuz thats stupid idea, but, the thing sucked, and if your gunna do that, make a new thread for it, damn, thats wack



uppin

That Shit Was Crazy...
Vocab, Flow, Structure, Storyline...
Everything On Point...
You Didnt Just Have Good Vocab But The Way You Used It Was Nice...
Your Metaphors Were Emaculant In There Aplication...
My Only Critisizm Is Its Length...
But You Said It Was Kinda More Of A "Shit Off My Chest" Piece...
So Ya, But Lyrically And Content Wise I Really CANT Hate On Anything...
I Think You Should Definately Go Back And Re This Up...
Add Another Verse And A Chorus, An Intro...
With Those Little Additions This Could Be My First 10 Given...
But For Now, 9.8/10 Wich Is Still Very Nice...
Was Really Feeling This, Stay Up...
.One.

This Ish Was Sick It Was On Point And Everything...Dope Ish...

thankyou, uppin

it's very imaginative,and girl/man you some astronuat or something...nah just kiddin good vocab good work and um... keep workin

very imaginative, good vocab and keep workin

thanx man, uppin

Love the piece son... realy painted a picture keep it up man

i wish not to look at this to closely seein as i am not in the mood. heh.
all i can say is if you wrote this i can hardly link it to some time back when you joined LL.
its good to see you actually worked to get better.. a great improvement man.
more on msn b haha.

yah i wrote it Ace, thanx man, i still wish LL was still around, and Ace is back people, and pissed about someone takin his name, lol

peace n uppin