This Piano

This Piano

Johnny loved that piano, with all of his heart..
Since he got it on his birthday, admired it right from the start..
He would practice during the day, start off slow, but contiue to play..
Wouldn't try to erase his love, for this game the piano gave..
He didn't love it for the music, he loved the piano for what he saw..
Black and white keys working together, he would wonder in awe..
"Can black and white really work like that? Or is this just a fake?"..
"For living where I grow up, a piano and people can't relate"..
For his own sake he debated with himself over this reason for days..
Black and white keys working together? He was just so amazed..
Symbollical meaning in such a simple object, the ideas a piano can hold..
Maybe there are stories in everything, secrets in places untold..
Racism doesn't take affect in that piano that Johnny plays for fun..
No killings, bleeding willing, no tears and no places to run..

But one day Johnny lost his interest in that piano he owned..
Black and white stopped playing together, no teamwork was shown..
Dust piled on top of those racial ridden people of music..
They didn't want to stop playing, they know they did not choose it..
The keys starting fight, black against white, white against black..
For as soon as no one noticed them, the racial feelings were back..
In a way, this piano relates to life, a lesson you cannot learn from a book..
Racism is not a problem of reason, if no one is there to look..

Will edit links here...

Link

Nice piece bloom... a little different..
from anything I've seen before, which is good.
carrying a nice message with it, relating a piano to race..
nice concepts...
overall, dope piece.. somewhat simple, but dope. keep up..

Nice drop Bloom. Really nice shit you got there man. Aight, I liked how you approached the topic and how you related the piano with racism, but yo, at the beginnin', somethin' about it was weird, well that's what I thought, but nah in the end I understood the whole thing, which made me think it was really good. Dope. Keep it up.

Peace

i liked this piece it was a bit diff. but diff. is better than the norm. anyday
i like the structure. it had a nice deep message wich i liked plus it flowed really nice
i could here this as a audio

anyways nice drop man
return tha fav v

Thanks for replies. Uppun for feedback.

Uppin again

Good shit I liked it made me want to keep reading wit every line. Keep spittin the koo shit!!!!!!

pz

Nice peice. Good concept. The flow was ok. Wasnt great. the Vocabulary was ok. There was alot of Emotion put into this peice. I liked that alot. From the beginning to the end was full of Emotion. A lil bit of Imagery. Nice Job.


-Wise

yo tha concept was dope very nice
structure was good and vocab was pretty good
but most of all i loved the concept and the way you approached the topic
this was a very nice drop

Thanks t oall who gave me feedback.

Nice piece...but I've seen this concept done too many times really....n' there wasn't that much of a flip in this piece.

People have compared racism to chess, etc.... in the end...all the same thing.

But...I liked the way it was written, it actually kept me interested n' I read until the end without being bored out of my mind. So props on that.

Not really much to comment on actually...since the piece isn't really that detailed...it's just....it starts...you make your point...you end. What I would of liked to see...is you adding more to it...and try n' build sumthin' really special.

Check out my piece titled "Lost Memories".

pz. god bless.
- T-West.

Bloom this was average to me, but still a good piece, you made me contemplate about the issue as i was reading....

peAcE

yo, show some luv this is my first open mic drop
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=144176

Spam removed - TR

very nice little read. very very good way to express racism! really...wow, that was a really good expression. Flow was spot on in most place, and vocab was good...but it was the overall message that meant the most to me. really nice...

i may nominate this for OM...

This was great...

It kept me interested right the way through. It was good the way you linked the keys on a piano to racism. You were creative and used a steady flow to tell the story....dope shit.

He didn't love it for the music, he loved the piano for what he saw..
Black and white keys working together, he would wonder in awe..

^^ Nice

Damn bloom nice job. I like the way you basically said everything nothing came off to me as played at all. I havent seen a concept like this before but you did a real good job with it. Youve elevated alot and this was a real good piece.