Mule.

Mule.

I sit in a beaten up old car.
An old scar lingers in the cold dark-
Depths of my simple mind.
A scar left by my journey into crime.

Three other girls are here,
&, for them, the border sparks fear,
Looking into the dark leer-
Of a border officer that we stop near

4 young Mexican ladies-
At the border? That cop’s not crazy,
So he brings the hound-
To sniff the car. He pats us all down.

We all got through clean.
& It’s a new scene, that few’ve seen.
Few people.. of our kind,
& the southwest US blows our minds.

This is my 7th time here.
The others are new to this crime steer.
Yet, I’m a 16 y/o vet, see,
The authorities will never catch me.

But it eats away at me:
Submitting my body for cash glee.
Colder than I used to be,
But I do what I have to do, to flea.

See?.. I must do this,
Til I can take my family from there
How I get through is-
To think of my families glum care

Just as I’m reflecting,
The old car stops at a gas station,
Followed by ejection-
Of us ladies, on this small vacation.

We enter the bathroom.
I see if it’s empty and scan sounds.
Then I started to croon,
Enter the stall & pull my pants down.

The awful stink is stale.
Besides us, the bathroom’s empty.
I take one deep inhale,
Then pull all the cocain from in me.

Sorry the intro aint proper
After I get paid, you see life’s so cruel.
Only Two Hundred dollars...
Welcome to the dark life of a coke mule.

http://img73.photobucket.com/albums/...zzzzzzzzzz.png

Author’s Note: I like to get into other peoples’ eyes and tell a story from that position. I also love originality. Placing myself in the eyes of a 16 year old, Mexican coke mule was my perfect chance to do both. Originality can also describe my structure, and why I went with a lighter rhyme scheme than in my usual work. I thought this was an interesting story. Many Latin women go through this. Stuffing drugs in them, and taking it across borders since dogs cant smell it in them, and cops don’t have the right to check there. It’s a horrible life and they get paid very low wages, for carrying up to a pound in little packages in themselves. Getting paid as little as 100 “US dollars” to carry something worth thousands. I also wanted to keep the reader in the dark to what the main character was up to until the last couple stanzas. I don't know if it's "good" or not. I'm never a good judge of my own work, I just hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.

Creds, I replied to at lest 10 pieces over the last 24 hours and I'll reply to mor by days end so don't close this. Thank You.

ooo this was nice man...i was feelin the concept of this one

the imagery was actually superb and the second to the last stanzaa was obviously my favorite, did quite well

delivery of the topical was quite powerful

this is worthy of legends man

hit up my first OM

Yo Wicked this shit is unique dog. Like my man said GREAT imagery. Also had a great story line type thing goin to. As I have said on others that I like, sometimes even the topic could change everything and it did. Loved readin it keep it up.

the flow was perfect everything fit in the right spot author notes also helped but i knew where you were coming from also great imagery dope piece

Good lookin' on the replies.

-W1

Hmmmm...this was good. The flow really helped the story-telling...but yea, I have liked others pieces from you more than this one though...but I still enjoyed this none the less.

I really feel you on the writer's comment though...I myself, love putting myself in the shoes of another person to tell the story...it allows you to truly present your creativity and originality.

What really intrigues me though is the title...I like how it leaves the doors open for basically anything. Actually...when I first saw it I laughed...n' thought "dis dude is one crazy ass nigga".

Overall...good job man. Perhaps it's just because i'm so dam hungry right now why i'm not as into it as others.

pz. god bless.
- T-West.

disagree about the flow - seemed a bit jerky to me - conceptually this was quite nice though - described things well - kept me in the dark until the last few lines - I was thinking she was a prostitute - nice work bro - peace

Good looks.

-W1

this was a real nice piece, i enjoyed reading it from beginning to end.
I hate that type of structure tho, i just hate scrolling down every 4 seconds haha but all in all this was a great read. keep at it.

lol i went to peep this piece again and looked and saw i already did still ill also i let a try out in your crew forum get at me peace

you are a ray of light concealed in a shadow of dark. seriously, i got mad respect for you, this was written straight from the heart in a less than usual manner...you made it your own and your style shone through. Very moving piece and very origional..great imagry. Oh and mad props for nominating me OM of the month. :)

shit was coo .. like how you didn't talk about what it really was about till the end sorta .. nice twist like thing too .. good read .. keep em coming man. pz.

Thanks.

-W1

yo, it was cool. i don't know if it's cause that movie about that girl who runs heroin into the US is getting play right now, or what, but i did know pretty much what was up as soon as i hit the link. can't really hold that against you though since most titles are in fact meant to tell you what the piece the title is attached to is about.

the beggining seemed to struggle with the flow a bit for me, seemed to be ^^ jerky. over all I loved the story line, I myself like the structure it has a simple touch to it. very original topic, ill discription. stay up man. -out