Topic:The Fire Inside
Lines:20~25 Max!!
Due By Sunday
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Topic:The Fire Inside
Lines:20~25 Max!!
Due By Sunday
in and looking forward to this battle..
That burning sensation escape is through feeling
The learning rotation of releasing then to lift ceilings
Burns in my gut like guy folks on the pulp screaming
For justice; my vision turns red and anger is seeming
My hart pounds more than the coin fingers tremble
To start sounds easy but to stop is motion can’t resemble
Trying to fight this internally but cant hose the pain
Lying in sight of this people before me driving me insane
Stomach twisting and Turin like the tide looking to get out
Trying to conceal fisting but burning to get out and clout
I feel the heat raising thought my intense body internal
Real pain parsing my skill die to be noticed in this geranial
So deep; head confused and bleak minded no fear
Peep into my notes for my pocket as words steer
My gut burning with intense heat and rage bubbled
Inside; Turing my thoughts into verbal not troubled
The blood in my veins rising like a sea level caused
Of global warming, glazing my eyes stand paused
Adrenalin pumping as my mind becomes un-blurred
Burning slumping as I tie and produce up my first word…..
nice verse
ya should battle me hexen................
Yo Were You At Rascal..If You Dunt Drop By Midnite Dis Will Be Reported...No Beef Just Wona Make Dis Clear
i said i would drop fag... Quick 18 as im very busy..
The Fire Inside
..This fire inside me is raging and burning,
..This fire inside is churning and turning..
..Soon you'll see my blood boil with my red rage,
..Ready to burst like a volcano at its last explosion stage..
..I can't take your bullshit and agonizing lies no more,
..What your saying. you've told me. so i've heard it all before..
..It's too late now dont try to fix it,
I thought you liked me.. but proved me wrong by performong that sick shit..
..this pain causing my heart to turn as cold as stone,
..Soon I'll just die and crumble into another heap of useless bones..
..Yeah, go right ahead.. try to save it.the 7th time up to date,
..Try to save me and you.why do you want to start now.?.
..Oh no, dont try again its just too late..
..You've ruined it all. heart breaking for both of us now..
..With your decieving lies and keeping some little secrets. kept with no clue,
..You sickenen me. im ashamed that you make me turn away,
..you make me hate and depise you..
..More and more each and every day you make me turn away in dissmay..
..not the best but i didnt wanna no-show..
Hmm this battle was interesting. . .
HeXen ... your vocab was good but you had abnormally vauge wording. You didn't seem like you knew what you were talking about at times you just wrote what you thought sounded cool. You had some good lines and some bad lines... i wont point out which but if you request it, I'll tell you. Pretty creative piece. Delivery and structure was good. same wit flow. try and premeditate on your writing more.
RASCAL you had good rthym. Verse flowed throughout. but you know it wasnt your best. kinda creative and abstract at times. vocab was pretty good. your avatar didn't hurt in a visual sense. haha. Your first half of the verse was better than your second. but still a nice peice.
Overall I enjoyed reading RASCAL's verse more because his seemed more meaningful
Good battle
Props 2 Both
Peace
Hit up my battles
Vote- RASCAL
this was an alright topical..
hexen - your vocabulary was pretty elementary, and it lacked that cutting egde. what i mean is
didnt feel that, its like, half elementary, half talking without saying nothing.. work on ya vocab and ull elivate...Quote:
Originally Posted by Hexen
overall 6/10..
Rascal..
liked ur verse rascal. had like a sub-meaning about a girl i beleive, liked the structure, and liked the vocabulary... you came pretty elementary at times although, with lines like..
that made me cringe abit... but overall you had a pretty decent verse...Quote:
Originally Posted by RASCAL
overall 7/10
therefore i have to give this battle ro RASCAL for a better topical..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1469845#post1469845]Realim vs Emulated[/url]
v/RASCAL
shutup....
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...45#post1469845
:D
uppin this thing right hear for votes.. <-- Lol..
Leave links ill vote on your battle..
yo...uppin leave a link and i will drop a honest vote
for fucksake uppin this for more votes.. we will return the favour in your battle..
Upping this for some more votes.. please i will return you with a vote..
Hexen =The verse wasnt bad, your vocab was pretty good throught the verse. Like what has already been said, i dont think you came on the topic well, i think you just rhymed words that looked and sounded decent. The lines that were well written were pretty decent, but alot of the lines were kinda weak and no meaning to them...Overall, it was ok verse, structure was good and flow was also good. just work on your topic more..
RASCAL = Firstly i thought your flow was great threw the whole verse. Also is was a pretty creative piece, dont think you did as well as expected, but you did enough, you kept on the topic well. your vocab was decent also. Overall i good piece
v/ rascal
up Up And Away...
i gtta say hexxen won this commpetion all yall great but hexenwas da best hexen 9 rascal 8 1/2
Upping this for some more votes.. please i will return your link with a vote..
HeXen - A decent structre and it had a real tight flow .. Well until you got to the end .. You lost your flow on your last line .. You didn't really paint an image in my head .. But I felt every line .. I guess that'll be the substitute .. You had a good use of vocabulary .. But you didn't use it too much which is always a plus .. Props for the drop
RASCAL - You had a lot of imagery in your drop for just a quick ass key .. But in doing so .. Your quick key failed to give you and good structure .. Also failed to give you a good flow .. You had flow in some parts but it was really wack at others .. But your verse was a really good drop for a key though .. That's hella props!
This was a tough one to judge .. HeXen came really tight with flow .. He made me feel every line that was put down .. But lacked imagery .. RASCAL on the other hand .. Put a lot of imagery in his .. And he put down some lines that I felt just as much as HeXen's verse .. But he had poor structure and flow .. But it was a really good drop for just a quick key
Vote - RASCAL .. Touch call though .. It was really close .. No hate .. Props to both
rascal took this one,
he used the topic better, had a good flow, and vocab was good.
hexen's verse wasn't bad, he had some good lines, and some bad lines, overall a decent verse. But rascal was slightly better in all aspects.
hexen was about average, an would of won against some topical heads. but rascal has shown a talent in topicals and took this battle.