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...~Hard Life~...
Check it out...
Livin' in dis hard tyms~jus tryin' 2 survive
Lyf ain't worth dying~when u got 4 otha lives
U got 3 children and 1 wife~dat need u @home
But when dis country calls~you can't reject da phone
U jus wanted2c ur baby~take his first step
But u can't~cuz ur country is in a gr8 depth
So ur on da plane~thinkin~jus tryin' to reflect
Prayin' to GOD~2 keep u alive~Let him direct
Drive u in da Ryt Direction~keep u on track
I help the enemies out~He'll protect me from their attacks
So its been months&months~How long have I been hea
Aint afraid of nothin'~But Im afraid death is nea
Another Day has gun by~my beard is gettin longah
Been here so long~that my faith in GOD has gotten strongah
Prayin' to God~Every minute~Every Single Hour
All the things that I asked for~I can use it to build a tower
So Im still in dis war~Today is May 27th
Can you tell my wife I love her~Also dat im waitin' fo' her in heaven
hea is the links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...82#post1432082
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...85#post1432085
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Nice piece you got there man.
Almost everything was good there. I liked the flow alot, structure wasn't bad, but could've been better. And what's with those signs, it just ruins everything dawg. But it's aight, I really liked the topic too. Liked how you expressed everything in it. It was really good.
Peace
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thanx...lots man....can i get more feedback.......................................... ...............
thanx lots though man
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A not bad piece...enjoyed it even.
I thought the flow was good in ur piece.
Vocab was Ok in this piece & ur
Wordplay was evident, but this was an
all round good piece....
hit the links in my sig?..ta
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Not bad shit,flow was spot on throughout good, but i like to vary it up but remain on beat,feel me,anyway good vocab,some multies in there,good expression,stayed on topic,nice length.
Peace
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thanx for the feedback...can i get some more...THANX ya all
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aight...can i get some feedback on this.............................................. .........thanx
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can i get this to the top............................................... ...........................
let me gets some feedback...
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need some mo' feedback.......................................... .........................................
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damn man, thaz sum nice shit...
real, and i feel you on that, cuz i know alot of ppl who have gone to fight in tha war, and i been there for their families and everything, so it's like, when i read it, it wuz as if one of my boy's sent it to me...
flow and vocab wuz nice, pretty good wordplay & structure.
overall - 8.5/10, because of tha realness and message of tha piece, and then for tha actual flow and everything.
everyone knows i like tha real shit that actually means something, not just blah, ima gangsta, blah i shoot guns... ya know? i like tha real shit that's from your heart & soul. and this wuz.
keep flowin homie
pz
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thx.........for the feedback..........................I really enjoy writing from the heart......
more feedback...thx
PEACE...ill keep writin'
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i enjoy readin' your stuff. real deep work. but what i like most is how you talk about God a lot. that right there earns a lot of my respect. my faith in God is not as strong as what i want it to be, but its stronger than most peeps i know. im glad to see that you're just like that too. gives us somethin in common. this stuff had heart. that alone makes it a good piece.
pz
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thanks man for the feedback.......................................... ............................
need mo'
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Wow, can learn a lot from you, really like your work! Vocab was great, and the imagery was very good... Write more, can't wait till your next piece, i'm ya biggest fan ;) hehe... but i'll try to stay neutral ;)
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thanx...............cutie......................... .........thanks you for the feedback
i need mo' feedback.....
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brotha preach mo'. man u only tellin the truth.many men are in war.many of them don't make it alive.yea i could feel the emotion.i thought that you had a good flow. i could read it quite easily. also you need to work on your structure.though your verse was good.nice word play.it was good.keep writin.
Peace..can we be friends
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yo dawg even though we had battled b4 man you koo...
thanx for the feedback..........................................
need mo'.
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need to upp it.........
need mo' feedback......plz
thanx
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Aight man.. you asked me to write some feed.. and you gonna get some. I aint gonna hold nuttin back, and I wanna tell the truth.
1. Multies needed a bit more work, but they were awsome, the ones you had in there were very awsome.
2.Word Play- Yeah.. something you did good! I enjoyed some of them.
3.Emotion- I LOVED IT! I FELT IT ALL IN HERE DAWG! It made me feel good when you talked about God like that. We all need God in our lives.. some people just dont think we do. Im glad you speak the truth.
Overall- I loved your piece here.. you expressed the emotion real well.. let me tell ya.. i know you would make a good solo album if ya really tried at it. My rating too you man is a 8.4/10!
GOOD JOB!
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Yo Gen, very nice work man. I really enjoyed this. Youre flow has improved since the last time I peeped one of youre Oms, and youre wordplay is very much refined. So good work on that. An overall nice piece, and its good to see u wrote it from heart.
Yo, theres something I noticed in the last line, was wonderin wether u meant it to come out that way. :Is this spoken in a reminiscent tone?
Neways, Keep droppin, I'll be certainly lookin for yah Oms in the future.
Look at one of mah Oms if u can man.
.Edit. - *respondin to how u posted that I need a girl Om piece.
Lols, (hints to that new Jess chick) .. :thumbup:
Rofl. Peace
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thanx man for the feedback.......................................... ...
u can drop mo' if u want........
thanx..plz
