Fate Sucks: I Hate Break-Ups...

my heart is darkened, clouded with confusion
it's partly hardened, i found love is an illusion
cause now im losing the only thing i hold dear
the sound of her voice is frozen cold in my ear
her choice still isn't clear.. it appeared hasty
at first i thought it was me.. "she just hates me"
"what have i done lately to make her turn"
took her for granted & now our fate is burned
concerned is my spirit, my mind frame is bent
i lost the picture of my life
i have no idea where it went
i resent the fact that i didn't act like a man
i had a high supply of love, but didnt handle the demand
i dont understand why i cant give her the answers
& its that uncertainty that eats away at me like cancer
i should have romanced her & danced when she asked
cause now the music of regret sings songs of the past
i still have a vast amount to give her; a river of emotion
that has me swimming in memories, i remember her lotion
her skin exposing a soft & delicate touch
just thinking of our lust gives me such an adreneline rush
when we made love, she'd tell me too hush & take my time
wanted to enjoy every second our bodies intertwined
her image is living so vivid im my mind.. im blind
trying to find a way too get by, but.. why is it so hard?
if we left on good terms, why im i still scared?
God knows, those are only guesses to why this lonliness is
tearing at my chest, its.. this stress thats got me restless
& if this is a test.. its best i pass with flying colors
my heart's dying with black & blue's.. i keep trying to love her
but i've discovered.. if you smother love, it can't breath
so i'll knuckle up & fight the urge.. i've got to let her leave
i believe in its power.. as each hour devours the eve
& night tumbles into morning.. i mumble in my dreams
huddle beneath the sheets.. until the day tells me to wake
cause time will heal this break... but just how much time will it take???

This is one of the hardest things i have had to deal with. Break-ups suck.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...474#post1413474

yo man a deep piece that really birng forths your emotion

i reall ylove how this is the way you deal withthings you make good music man thats the way to do it

Evolve.. CredZ made a new rule, that you must post 2 links.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...25#post1413925

Another nice one 'Vovle .. Shit you gone for a while and come back wit 2 pieces back to back .. Dope .. This one held a lotta emotion too .. Can relate to ur thoughts and shit .. Quite a bit .. Deep meaning behind the situation .. Nicely written with a good writer's voice .. Not anything bad about it .. Good piece .. Keep writin' .. One

nice piece man, deep, yah like said above, your emotion
was well shown well in this, the vocab was also good
the imagery was good, and it was interesting kept me
reading.....the ideas were well put in and the structure
was also good. i feel yah, breakups do suck man
keepit up

nice piece

peace

if you want copuld you please leave feedback in this
Address To The Nation

^yea...they all pretty much said it...
emotion was nice in this...and strutcure was clean...
i like how you delivered in a complex manner too...
nice drop...
can you give feed on this man: http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=129357

What up Rich... That was dope and I felt every bit of the emotion you're feeling just through the words and lines you used in this... The imagery was amazing and the flow was off the chain... but I think I lost the flow towards the end, I probably just got confused and lost the flow... but anyway that was picturesque... Check your PMs Evolve...

pz

Thanks Domain. Nice to see you back. Im in hell right now, but i WILL be ok.

pretty slick ole' timer... :)

Nice drop evolve...

Very discriptive indeed, it's like you pushed me into revisting past hurts and pains long forgotten. It takes great emotion and imagery to do that in such a short drop. Yet you did, and I comend you on this peice. It's real and not saturated in fabricaton, it's something each and everyone of will, or have already felt. This to me is a wonderfull peice, you actually alowed us into YOUR world, just for a glimpse of the on going struggle your dealing with. I too have been there, and I know just how hard it is for you to make sense of anything right now, as it was expressed in your drop. Hang in there and make use of the gift you have, writting is a means to self therapy, or insanity, you chose which. Great display of skill here.

~Bounce~

Just remember, she will always be a huge part of who you come to be in life. We take a bit of each person we hold dear in life, and use that bit to shape who we are, in the end, you will see her in everything you do. It's a way to remember we are made by the bits and pieces of those who cross our path in life. You shared a good portion time with her, there is no wrong in that, it's only positive.

Really good OM bro. I could feel the emotion heavy in this. The only thing that I really saw needed work. Was maybe your transition to different ideas. Sometimes it wasent that smooth, just a little chopy in places. Also maybe the ending could be a little more dramatic. The way you did it seemed just a little plain. Overall tho nice drop. Keep writing and good luck with ya girl man.

If you get the time could anybody hit my OM up. I get slept on badly and I think its really good. Thanks if anybody can.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=129474

Thanks for all the reply's. It is appreciated.

Uppin

Come on. Feedback.