Rule vs wogzta (soft focus vs 13th amendment)

due april 13th

Topic= a colorful memory

In..good luck wogzta, lets make this a dope battle

Wogsta...wont be on...i will replace em...he into sum shit.

^ err... i came back today... so i still might be able to do this... but since Eyeronik (who was our leader) was banned, I dont know if the crew battle is going to happen... can someone inform me if its still going through? If so, I will most likely have my piece done

yeah just continue

ok, give me about one day from now. That means my verse should be done by April 14th.

I was away for easter holidays, and im just getting settled this morning. So I need about one day.

Thanks

Lets just make a dope topical battle anyway wogzta...if you need more time i'll be more than happy to let you have some..so anyways. here is my verse it's very personal so may not be the best from me cause I had a hard time with this one.
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Dear Grandma,

We Barely Talk Or See Eye To Eye, I Just Found Out Your On A Verge To Die
Old Age Is Eating At Your Heart & Lungs, Gods Slow Melody Of Death Has Begun
Don't Feel Disapointed In Your Heart, This Love Is Unconditional Even After Depart
I'll Think Of You Daily Your Smile And Laugh, & Keep Licking The Taste Of Our Past
Deja Vu Will Happen When I Arrive In Heavon, To Once Again Hug My Families Blesson
Sometimes I'd Arrive At Your Door, Complaing About Problems I Couldn't Handle No More
Rather Then Laughing At My Self Pitty, You'd Kiss My Forhead An Say You'll Help Me
Told Honesty & Loyalty Grasp & Squeeze, Never Be Scared When My Heart Bleeds
Gave Me A Cross I Stuck On My Wall, Pray To It Daily God Doesn't Answer Your Call
I Tryed To Be Tough Not Drop A Tear, Did When You Turned Ghost & Disapaerd
Worry Lines On Your Skin Your Looken Angelic, Laughing Saying My Girlfriends Jelous
Until The Day Comes When Clouds Your Bed, I'll Pray That You Don't Wake Up Dead
Suppose I Do I'll Raise My Voice To Heavons, Bless The Tears Of Love I'll Beckon
A Colorful Memory Us Together...
...Thinking Of You...
..Watch Over Me Until Firsts Day Is Forever..

A Colorful Memory

On one morn, I was captivated by the luscious grass
Of my front lawn as a light breeze rushes past
And touches my face, I was lovin that race...
My friends couldn't find me in my coveted space
But soon I got tired, and surrendered my position
And we all ran to a system of interconnected rivers
And gazin into the valley, and its twinkling borders
I broke into a grin, cos it was drinkable water
And as we got closer, we began sippin our bounty
Time flies, and sure as hell the minutes were countin
A spell of darkness fell, and it was time to go home
Will all this be here tommorow? I really hope so
But I don't know, why I was blessed to be so lucky
To live in this illuminated world that was my home country
And snug in bed, I began my descent into sleep
Knowin these precious moments were meant for me to keep
But I awoke to eerie sounds in the early morn
Six soldiers at my door, but it felt like thirty more
They forced dad into the army, but I knew he'd remember me
He too would hold all of his colourful memories...

up........

uppping... lets get some replies........................................... ...........................

Moved to Regular Front Lines
wogzta doesn't have Elite Requirements
*10+ wins*

upping(2)......................................... .................................................. .

Oblivion Shadow:
Good verse by OS, nice imagery and deep. The emotion given was good and he had a nice vocab. The memories you talked about were done well, I think it added a real human feel to it. Good closure.

Wogzta:
Yet another good verse, nice 'colorful' imagery and the positive images you portrayed through your words came out very well thanx to a nice use of vocabs. Your closure was good to as it added a good contrast to the memory and added another aspect of having these good memories taken from us.

This was a close battle. My vote goes to Wogzta, basically because I feel his verse was more centered around the colorful memory, and ended it nicely with chance of more colorful memories taken away; while OS had a good verse and he did have portrayal of memories, i feel his verse was more centered around the loss of a love one. In terms of structure, Wogzta's turned out to be better (in the sense he had the good memory followed by the contrasting event while OS had his memory and the loss of the loved one mixed in together). In short: Wogzta had a good build up and then added a twist perfectly in the end.

My Vote: Wogzta

Upping (3)..... cmon rule u start upping it............. lets get the votes rolling....................

Upped...there ya go man lol............... blah..

First off.. a very good battle on both sides.

Oblivion Shadow- I felt the emotion in this post. You really gave your heart it seems. You had a good flow going, but the word play wasnt there. So.. umm.. no. I cannot vote for you.


Wogzsta- Not much word play, actually none.. lol. but ya flow did have it a bit better, and you did have good Words in it. Good Imagery!

Vote- Wogzsta

Oblivion Shadow - content in this was pretty good - I could feel the emotion - but the imagery was lacking somewhat because a good number of your lines seemed forced - the thoughts were awkwardly worded to acomplish the rhyme as well - the core of this piece was very nice - but it didn't seem to be built on very well

wogzta - the beginning to this felt kinda flippant I guess - just was like dada dada da - dada dada da - but the ending became made it stick in my mind more - implemented your multi's pretty well throughout - your flow was on point - closer was nice - maybe could be worded a little differently but it's nice as is

v/ wogzta even if he did somehow miss my multi's in every line, usually even multiple times in each line...

nice battle.

Oblivion- great verse man. very unique way to come and express your memory. i felt the emotion from basically the entire letter. the thing i didn't like tho was your structure, it through off your flow and messed up how it was read. but other than that man, that was a nice verse. but you could've done better on imagery i think.

Wogzta- beautiful imagery, starting with your first line. your memory was produced as if i could remember it to. very interesting read. kept my attention throughout the whole thing basically. perfect structure, perfect flow. nice vocab too. i don't think you came at top when it came to emotion, but you took everything else. great battle. props to both.

vote- Wogzta

pz

upping(4)......................................... .................................................. ........

upppping (5)....... Rule use ur ups man............................................... ...............

Oblivion - I really liked your verse. It was great. Imagery was really good, but could've been better, but I still liked it. I liked the way how you expressed your memory, coz I could feel the emotion in your verse. Structure was good, but not amazing. Flow could've been better.

wogzta - That was a really good verse. Almost everything was perfect. I also liked the way how you expressed everything in it. Imagery was good too, actually it was almost perfect. Structure and flow were perfect. Emotion was good too, but could've been better.

Vote - wogzta

R.O.L.M.A.O at the kid that said u had to have wordplay for a topical,

^These kids need votes this battle be old

Alright...

First off, outstanding verses on each side

rule- You had a really nice verse, I loved the style you attempted and I think you did it very well, good imagery, really everything about it I liked but I'm not so sure it was the best idea for this topic... I saw where u were coming from and all, it was still very good but the idea could've been better suited for the topic

wogsta- bueatiful verse on ur side as well, you came at it with definitely an original approach in which I really liked.. the closing was best for the piece I think, it all came together reall nice at the end, great imagery and feeling in this piece and just.. overall dope

vote- wogsta... very close

Props guys.