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World Today..
World Today
If You're Dealt A Bad Hand, Flip The Cards Over..
'N' If You Run Out Of Luck, Throw Out The Clover..
When Life Has You Down, Then Just Give Up And Die..
Or Just Sit There Denied, As The World Passes By..
Glass, Half Full Or Half Empty.. Who Really Cares..
.Noone Listens.. So Still Make Unanswered Prayers..
You Fall To Your Knees, And Cry Over Spilt Milk..
Yet Couldn't Care Less, When Soldiers Were Killed..
Current Events, Is What Keep This World Spinning..
When Will It End.. Or Flip Back To The Beginning..
People Are Scammed And Robbed, Then Left Alone..
Praise Given To Those, Who Cast The First Stone..
Even When Some Try To Help, All We See Is A Nuisance..
'N' The World Hangs In Balance,...As the Noose Loosens..
People Will Lie To Your Face, Then Grin Ear To Ear..
Then Shake Your Hand, And Swear They're Sincere..
For You Will Feel, The Blade Penetrate Your Spine..
Mans Word Has Become Useless, I Barely Trust Mine..
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This had a good writers voice man, stoot out here, . vocab&flow on point..
Current Events, Is What Keep This World Spinning..
When Will It End.. Or Flip Back To The Beginning..
People Are Scammed And Robbed,Then Left All Alone..
Recognition Given To Those,Who Cast The First Stone..
The story was dope, i dont know how else to say .. very well executed, .. and worded correctly .. w/ worplay on some places, to make it even a more interesting story .. very nice man, .. we must collab once, .. & thats yup .. =) ..
Up!
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So true, so sad, I read so many stories with all the themes that you put into that one paragraph, great read man.
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Bravo~~~Bravo~~~Dope shi* ~~~~~That's All.... :p
Get on Aim!!!!!
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ive read many pieces done around the same theme, but you kept this new and interesting! i liked how you told the story, and the flow that went with it.
'N' If You Run Out Of Luck, Throw Out The Clover..
When Life Has You Down, Then Just Give Up And Die..
Or Just Sit There Denied, As The World Passes By..
Glass, Half Full Or Half Empty.. Who Really Cares..
.Noone Listens.. So Still Make Unanswered Prayers..
^was my fav lines
i also liked the ending to this alot, was so truthful and honest. got across your thoughts good.
T (your wife)
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Thank You For All Of The Honest Feedback So Far!
UP!
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i think you got a lot into this, and worded it in a way that your points had emphasis, nice and smooth, you closed it up nicely and kept the whole thing real... pretty sad outlook on the world...lol... but, yeah i like it... touched some reality...
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Real tight man..
Got the message across perfectly in just those few bars.. & I think everyone can relate to it 'cos for the most part its all true.
Each line was worded well.. complimenting the next.. flow/structure was spot on.
As said.. you've got what most people spend 20 bars on.. in one small verse with the same meaning.. if not more so.
Consistant throughout.. and the closer was just dope..
Props..
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You Fall To Your Knees, And Cry Over Spilt Milk..
Yet Couldn't Care Less, When Soldiers Were Killed..
Wow..beautifully written..
You post great thoughts in this piece..
About present day events going on..
Touched based from war to crime..
Attacked basically how we live..
It was very well written..props..
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People Will Lie To Your Face, Then Grin Ear To Ear..
Shake Your Hand, And Swear That They're Sincere..
^^only point i think the flow fell off... sounded better as "they are" to me in my head...
but i could be wrong...
ill flow ... felt this is a definite audio script... topics a little played... but you write fresh with a vet savvy...
I hate vocab so... the simplicity really worked for me...
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Dope. Without a doubt. Flow was perfect..concept was amazing. hit it..on the button.
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thx for hitting mine....lol
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i like the image you protrayed in your piece nice vocab and good flow and pretty deep and philosophical and your points hit the mark spot on and got direct to wat u were saying no shady double sided messages which i liked so overall good piece keep this kinda stuff comein..peace
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this was real good, i thought you
expressed your opinions in a very
nice manner. the flow of this piece
had a couple switch ups, it kind
of sounded odd, but you made up
for it with the content, a couple
nice metaphors to make nice points
as well. peace brother.
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I'll Bump this for this clown...
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sound drop
in agreement over the points you made
flow was good..
you managed to squeeze what could have taken many lines into a short verse and still get your opinions over
nice ender too...props
fin
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yo that waz tight the flow waz good and the use of the wordz waz hot. i like how u rhyme that verse waz a hot drop man
keep up the work
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yeah that was some tight lyrics keep that shit up
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