Mag... brings you 'The Oath'

This weeks crew assign...

enjoy

just a note... about the oath.. I had to give the other day...
must a choked... hurts the most... seems the same in every way...
sore lips to the sip... another trip... through an illusion..
more rips in the ship's ... sails so i slip... through an exclusion..
read the fine print.. check da mast's splint.. as the boat sinks...
breeze the high wind.. dj's last spin... coast to coast links...
with a fader I fade her... that's why I made her... heartbroken...
we cum later and later... know how to sate her...no, not jokin...

../flip it\..

Devoted... until we die, a parted life is nought but death
Eroded... an angry sky, a martyr rife with hotter breath
...stigmatized by the prized and the overanalyzed ties
...no reply to the catalyze a reaction that only brings sighs

you promised to love me... I promised to, in turn, sex you
I promised to love you... to have someone to lie next to
and with and whatever and "What's wrong?" "Oh, just never-
mind." "Why?" "Because if we start it will go on forever."
"Please, don't do that, it only prolongs both of our suffering."
"I'll do what I want to, to spare my pain, and another thing..."
"Stop! If you really care so much..."

Then she hit me, where it hurts the most
Then it hit me, we had forgotten our oaths...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=113086&page=2

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=119294

This was a cool drop. Wasnt very fond of the stop and go flow at first, but it got better. The content was cool. It would have been alot better if it was a ill longer and detailed. It still was above average though. Decent drop.

Please drop feedback here:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=118747&page=1

^^thanks... just dropped it in 20 mins so I wasn't going for length or detail...but i'll take it as a complement...

Decent little piece..It seems as you've tried something new..decent..

I must up!

Something new from you..

Erm.. Wasnt feeling the stop and start kind of feel this gave out..

Although the structure looked pretty.. It didnt reflect in the piece as it cut the flow in places.. Not very major.. Jus a pointer.. :)..

Nice enough vocabulary.. Quite creative too..

Closer was iight..

Nice enough drop overall.. For a new style..

Hit the link in sig.. "Angel.." Thanks..

Pz..

always gotta do something new... otherwise i don't know what works and what doesn't... interesting feeds on the flow....

^^^

Pretty good piece. Content was nice, vocab was good, best aspect of the piece. Flow was on-point, rolled off my tongue as I read it from the get go, so I don't know how Freeman red it. The Flip It part is the only time the flow had a nitch in it. The color variation was annoying, dunno why, just egged me. Other than that, you had a nice piece, keep dropping.

- Peep Love-Hate Relationship , thanks.-

yea colour kinda doesn't work with some... don't think i'll do much of it again...

thnks for the replies

these work good pieces of work ienjoyed them, but plz dont use the colour thing....





Keep it up :thumbup:

*edits out colour*

that looks alot better now Mag well done :thumbup:

Thanks... and like a superheroe... we're up, up and away!

dope peice for sure. the flow in this was perfect. the multies connected flawlessly and they weren't forced. the style in this is unique which i like. you tied the lines together really well, the consistency was tight. you connected the senses with ease, and so it made for a good story and for something to just think about. i enjoyed reading this one. i liked what was being expressed the most. props. keep at it.

drop some feed on this in return plz:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118945

thanx.

peace

thanks for the respect... *inclines head towards ace*

Ok one more up... jus to see .. ya know...