Illtalic, Lyric & DeMiurgiC: "No One Listens"

Illtalic
No One Listens

So much to say but no one to hear.. its crystal clear
How can I voice my fear when there’s no one to hear
It’s like a one handed clap.. the atmosphere ready to snap
Real shit is drowned beneath so much fabricated crap
And the noise is too much to bear.. my soul is bared
But no one stops to listen an no one even cares
Why would they when I show no care.. makes sense
My existence is hollow yet my thoughts are dense
My mind screams at me and looks for a means of escape
But I cant provide it.. when my mouth is sealed and taped
So I stop to look around at my contemporaries.. Jeez!
Why would they listen when I turn a deaf ear to their pleas?
Waves of frustration transcend my fingers.. it must be written
So I stick with typing.. cos its clear that No One Listens

Lyric
No one listens to my words, why am I lyrically unheard
I know I have much to learn, but why has this negligence occured?
Battle talent is unnoticed, no matter what form of dopeness is posted
Vets write hate and then bold it, say quit now, there's still no hope kid
I know I'm being realistic, frustrated tryin to forget the statistics
Aint tryin to be egotistic, jus want respect for my linguistics
Voice my opinion but no one hears, overshadowed by my peers
Attention I have to commandeer, Recognition doesn't seem near
On this site I'm the minority, this underrated title won't let go of me
Gotta straighten out my priorities, try and work to gain seniority
Everyone has had this feeling, loss and hope jus interweaving
Screening ability for no reason, leaving no room for tru meaning
Try hard to make my rhymes glisten, Dun respect then skills ya missin
Wishin the elite would jus stop dissin, I speak but No one listens...

DeMiurgiC
Sublimiminal Messages through wax clogging multiple Mc's ears..
Tells one to spit like all the others and Everyone will gather to hear
I can't save you if you won't listen to mental conspiracies...
I think outside the Box so the powers that be are fearing me
Listen you drones shaped by societiy and opinions of others..
Haze over your eyes..your all in body bags and the slaughter i uncovered..
Dead men walking abstract thoughts keeping me alive striving...
Yet constant influence by deaden souls trys to pull me back from surviving....
You can't listen if you don't respect and since your ego is all you know...
Your already doomed yourself..chose your path..i can't dig you out of that hole
Might as well cut your ears off cause they serve you no purpose...
You barely scratch the surface of mans Work and yet you already label it as herbish

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118798
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118854

wow, very nice piece i beleve, a lot of emotion, "inspirational", good multies, very good vocabulary, no doubt, i think all the verses were equal, not a lot of mets, but thats ok with these type of pieces i guess, good flow, it went correcly the whole time, nice collabo mos def, keep it up

can u drop sum feddback in mine please thanx

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...02#post1248402

ps-great drop

dis is some dope shit cuz its so true....a lot of peple dont get the respect they deserve because people dont even give it a chance the just follow the leader of what other people do u know...
exactly what im talkin boujt....
i was feeling lyrics verse the most cuz dat shit was truer then a saint..
almost made me want to jump in on dis collab lol...
good shit though...

up..please take the time to read this

Please?

lyric, illtalic de, this shit is dope.. if i was in it...... lol im kidding this really is dope almost everyones verse was chocked full of multis and everything flows well.. the topic is great but not overused but not original.. overall great piec though.. seriously would i lie....

Hott Damn!

Jus read my fellow Lyricists verses.. deep an dope!

Would appreciate a few more peeps feed back.

up....please?

Come on yall

Come....please takes like 5 minutes to read this and respond with a good breakdown

shit had a nice subject good structure nice vocab but most of all a real scheme i really feel what ya mean on this message you should of called it struggle's of a unsigned hype anyway stay up ni99az ~1~

sup guys, ok let me break this down for ya!!! :thumbup:

Illtalic =


So much to say but no one to hear.. its crystal clear
How can I voice my fear when there’s no one to hear
nice line
It’s like a one handed clap.. the atmosphere ready to snap
Real shit is drowned beneath so much fabricated crap
lol, very good
And the noise is too much to bear.. my soul is bared
But no one stops to listen an no one even cares
ok
Why would they when I show no care.. makes sense
My existence is hollow yet my thoughts are dense
ok
My mind screams at me and looks for a means of escape
But I cant provide it.. when my mouth is sealed and taped
nice, like da wordplay
So I stop to look around at my contemporaries.. Jeez!
Why would they listen when I turn a deaf ear to their pleas?
ok
Waves of frustration transcend my fingers.. it must be written
So I stick with typing.. cos its clear that No One Listens
nice finish. dope

Lyric=

No one listens to my words, why am I lyrically unheard
I know I have much to learn, but why has this negligence occured?
nice start
Battle talent is unnoticed, no matter what form of dopeness is posted
Vets write hate and then bold it, say quit now, there's still no hope kid
best bar so far in this OM. pure dope
I know I'm being realistic, frustrated tryin to forget the statistics
Aint tryin to be egotistic, jus want respect for my linguistics
ok
Voice my opinion but no one hears, overshadowed by my peers
Attention I have to commandeer, Recognition doesn't seem near
umm ok
On this site I'm the minority, this underrated title won't let go of me
Gotta straighten out my priorities, try and work to gain seniority
nice. dope again
Everyone has had this feeling, loss and hope jus interweaving
Screening ability for no reason, leaving no room for tru meaning
good
Try hard to make my rhymes glisten, Dun respect then skills ya missin
Wishin the elite would jus stop dissin, I speak but No one listens...
really good finish

DeMiurgiC =

Sublimiminal Messages through wax clogging multiple Mc's ears..
Tells one to spit like all the others and Everyone will gather to hear
ok
I can't save you if you won't listen to mental conspiracies...
I think outside the Box so the powers that be are fearing me
good
Listen you drones shaped by societiy and opinions of others..
Haze over your eyes..your all in body bags and the slaughter i uncovered..
nice.
Dead men walking abstract thoughts keeping me alive striving...
Yet constant influence by deaden souls trys to pull me back from surviving....
nice
You can't listen if you don't respect and since your ego is all you know...
Your already doomed yourself..chose your path..i can't dig you out of that hole
good
Might as well cut your ears off cause they serve you no purpose...
You barely scratch the surface of mans Work and yet you already label it as herbish
ok

wow, very impressed!!

illtalic = very good flow and structure, your lines were really good all the way thru and your vocab was tops!!

lyric = WOW, WOW, WOW. this is a really good pice man, very impressed!! flow was good and structure. your bars were brilliant!!! keep up this standard!!!

DeMiurgiC = your flow was good and also structure, bars wernt as good as other but still a good spit!!!

Fave line = Battle talent is unnoticed, no matter what form of dopeness is posted
Vets write hate and then bold it, say quit now, there's still no hope kid

please vote on this for me!!! thanks http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=119152

pz

Very great collaboration to bad you herbs didn’t tell me about this lol..
Anyways great piece. Nice flow for all and nice usage for vocabulary
For all. Lyric stood out the most because of this vocabulary and flow.
Demiurgic had the best closer and iLLtalic had the best metaphor.
Great job peeps..

IJL

Very nice 3 MC collab... i enjoyed this piece alot....

Illtalic: Your piece was very well written... your flow particularly stood out... i was able to read it with ease... what I liked about your verse were the intense internal rhymes and excellent wordplay... i liked this line in particular:

It’s like a one handed clap.. the atmosphere ready to snap
Real shit is drowned beneath so much fabricated crap


Very dope... vocab was decent too, but overall u came very well lyrically.. the only thing that could be improved is vocab and some multie rhymes... nice job

Lyric: You started out very strong:

No one listens to my words, why am I lyrically unheard
I know I have much to learn, but why has this negligence occured?
Battle talent is unnoticed, no matter what form of dopeness is posted
Vets write hate and then bold it, say quit now, there's still no hope kid

.. your flow works for most parts, but in a few places it fell off... lyrically it was quite good with nice vocab and some decent multies... I feel you couldve used some better wordplay but yours was the best structure and emotion of this collab so props for that...

DeMiurgiC: What stood out in your verse was the vocab.. very nice, especially the first 2 lines... you had some very dope wordplay, and a few multies that were well done... this part in particular is my favourite in the whole collab

Might as well cut your ears off cause they serve you no purpose...
You barely scratch the surface of mans Work and yet you already label it as herbish

... I havent seen that point ever been proven better... your only drawback was your flow, some of it was choppy, but overall u did a dope job

8.5/10

Good work all! You should collab again sometime...

Much appreciated wogzta.. nice analysis.

Up!

please?

It was iight, you know..

Erm..

Could of all had smoother transititions.. And in some cases you could of actually HAD transitions..

Nice multi's from illtalic in places..

All had nice flow..

Was a iight collaboration from y'all..

All of you hit something in my sig..

Battle preferably.. But any OM will do if your feeling lazy..

Thanks..

Pz..

^i don't call that a critique but aight i'll hit your shit up anyway.......

I thought this shit was madd ill.

Illtallic had very good flow. and some nice metaphors. word usage was nice. rhymescheme wasn't as good as the other 2, but the last line was very creative. 7.5/10

Lyric had a little choppy of a flow, but the rhymes picked it up. he stayed on topic, just like illtallic, and killed it with some lines. very good verse, just coulda used a little bit of doctoring to fix the flow in some parts. the ending to this was cool too, b/c it ended similar to illtalics. 8.0/10

DeMiurgiC came really good in this. Flawless flow. Vocabulary was sick. Good rhymes at some parts, the others had weak rhymes but the vocab and metaphors made up for it. showed alot of emotion. 8.5/10

overall, I give this a 8.0/10

very nice piece, with all of your skills combined. Illtallic had the flow, lyric had the rhymes, and demiurgic had the vocab and metaphors. keep this shit up.

this was a create piece of rap
no one droped a bad verse which is important for a multi mc collabaration, i would say lyric came of the best with his
"No one listens to my words, why am I lyrically unheard
I know I have much to learn, but why has this negligence occured?
Battle talent is unnoticed, no matter what form of dopeness is posted
Vets write hate and then bold it, say quit now, there's still no hope kid"
it was a great beggining which kept me interested aswell as it being very true.

DeMiurgiC probally came off the worse NO DISRESPECT you were still really good it's just you didn't have any really standout lyrics but you kept a constant quality throughout.

i thought ittalic rhyme sceme was a bit basic but what he was chatting about was solid and true
"My existence is hollow yet my thoughts are dense"
this is just a buff lyric

all together this was a great piece, respect to everyone

shit if your mouths taped shut how can you rap

nice piece every thing flow got alot feeling to it

Decent subject... I've only seen a couple pieces like this

Decent execution... flow, wordage, etc. was all above par

Nice transfer of emotion/imagery...
Good shit fellas.