EF Tourney Finals Verse

My Pen, My Life, Why I Write
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.
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".. This life is all i have .. My rhymes, my pen, my pad .."
. . .
.. We met in a Stationary store, her body adhored in leather ..
.. that caught my eye; & we ended up leaving the store together ..
.. I longed to hold her firm in her hands, then it hit me ..
.. How each of her features were shaped so intricatly ..
.. A sleek, slim-line figure; and a body to die for ..
.. With a look of Elequence, that inspires me to write more ..
.. So when life's in turmoil; and my stomach sinks ..
.. I try to convey these emotions, w. an array of coloured ink ..
.. I stay up with her late nights; and everythings fun ..
.. We undulge in some body language; & i let the ink run ..
.. between the Sheets. The two of us capture the flow ..
.. And we start work on a romantic tale of our own ..
.. Holding on to her tightly .. I release this deep suffering ..
.. Channeling my thoughts, as she whispers sweet nothings ..
.. Her very presence seems to bring out the best when i write ..
.. Just the soft touch of my gentle hands; caressing her sides ..
.. Motivate's me into feeling i can overcome these obstacles ..
.. Yet, without her in my life - then NONE of this would be possible ..
.. She never left my side, not in any of our outings ..
.. We'd sat and watched the sun set; then wrote a verse about it ..
.. So you can imagine my temperment and sheer intensity ..
.. When one day i awoke, to find she wasnt lying next to me ..
.. She was nowhere to be found, i searched far and wide ..
.. My tear ducts flooded; felt as if a part of me'd died ..
.. This might sound pathetic, but i hope i see her again ..
.. We made the cutest couple ..
.
.
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.. Just me and my pen ..


Peace.



Replied to:
Evolve's about the candle
Maven''s with the weird structure

OMG.
You took one of my best tunes & flipped it. Nice job.
Pharoah monch will carry the flame but you really
gave the flow and new meaning a different dimension.
The story was very detailed and your imagery was
great. Liked the beginning of how you first bought it
etc. The end was kinda cheesy but it worked.
I read a similar piece to this in college
In my anthology book. It was called "The Forgotten Pen"
and just like this it was very poetic.
Nice piece.
pz

“.. We met in a Stationary store, her body adhored in leather ..
.. that caught my eye; & we ended up leaving the store together ..
.. I longed to hold her firm in her hands, then it hit me ..
.. How each of her features were shaped so intricatly ..”

Very nice detailed opening..

To me the whole piece was nice however your beginning was
Better then the middle portion and the end portion..
Overall nice piece and it gave me imagery.
Nice structure and nice topic as well.
Flow wise it was unique in away.

Overall nice piece…

Oh hey ah Baron.....ummm.....I got a message today from someone.........not sure exactly who it was but asked me if i knew who you were.....Im like yea hes a well known RB member....and he was like well....Tell Him That Played Words says "Hello".... :thumbup:

Cool. I havent spoke to him in a while, but ive seen him around. He's actually pretty dope audio wise .. Lol ..

nice imagery nice flow nice nice nice..... only thing i didnt like was....

This might sound pathetic, but i hope i see her again ..
.. We made the cutest couple ..
.
.
.
.. Just me and my pen ..

that was just too much for me but otherwise good shit

This was a decent piece. Easy to read, easy to follow. Nothing too complicated, but you covered the topic well.. I liked it.

Upping for recognitiuon ahead of n demiks Fagsterpiece ..

Rules are updated, Matt followed them .. :rolleyes:

damn, this is a dope ass peice.... props

im speachless.... dope

Thanks kids. :^)

this was nice..

I enjoyed reading it..The topic was good...

U keep going on at ppl not using multies and internals as often.. WHERE WERE THEY TODAY HOMBRE..??

lol

Anyway, Typicaly what we always get...

Dopeness..!!

.. We met in a Stationary store, her body adhored in leather ..
.. that caught my eye; & we ended up leaving the store together ..
.. I longed to hold her firm in her hands, then it hit me ..
.. How each of her features were shaped so intricatly ..
.. A sleek, slim-line figure; and a body to die for ..
.. With a look of Elequence, that inspires me to write more ..
.. So when life's in turmoil; and my stomach sinks ..
.. I try to convey these emotions, w. an array of coloured ink ..

Please, come again :^)

LOL..
Yeah, Well, Whatever...!!

*Stands Corrected*

I ment, You come allot more complex usually..!!

I dont see how it isnt complex as it is? Its worded dope, the content is as good as your going to see and its not flooded with pointless multi's that ruin all flow / writers voice / storytelling ..

Like i said..*Stands Corrected*

lol

Lol, its cool nigger. Send me fucking beat already, goddamn!

lol...I cant find it man....

Im gona ave to send u it via AIM....

I'll be on MSN tommorrow, send it me then. You cant talk on AIM while files are sending, which is gay.

Oh, and if you have WinZip - zip it up so it sends quicker. Lol.

Consider it done Negro...

And, If u can come up for a couple of days...(Preferebly a wednesday)..We can record it all again in a my (proper) studio.....Just pick a week....

Cool.

Any more Replies?

Very Nice work...This OM is becoming very very gay now....It's refreshing to read something like this once in a while...I'm not gonna give youa break down or anything,since you already know..This was very very nice....Peace...

dope...
the whole piece can be a metaphor for something else as well which was dope..
i love it when people do stuff thats about something simple and spin it into a complex and good read
no complaints really..props

returning the favor

fin

Quote:

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.. So when life's in turmoil; and my stomach sinks ..
.. I try to convey these emotions, w. an array of coloured ink ..

---

Hot diggity.

^ Lol...

^ Fuckouttahere wid yo one line replies, yO . .

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fathom

OMG.
You took one of my best tunes & flipped it. Nice job.
Pharoah monch will carry the flame but you really
gave the flow and new meaning a different dimension.
The story was very detailed and your imagery was
great. Liked the beginning of how you first bought it
etc. The end was kinda cheesy but it worked.
I read a similar piece to this in college
In my anthology book. It was called "The Forgotten Pen"
and just like this it was very poetic.
Nice piece.
pz

---

Yeah..yeah...Ur all on his nut sack!!!lol...
Nah, seriously, This is an awesome piece..
The way u describe the whole thing as if it
was a women was class...The flow of it all
was the best bit tho..multi's at the end of
this lines were jaw-dropping..

baron.. going into a piece thinking that using multies ruins a piece is dumb. it makes the piece sound better, probalem is you need to challenge yourself to use multies while still putting together just as good a story as if you didn't have the multies. if you don't challenge yourself to do this you aren't gonig to get any better. your already one of the best topical heads, if you can do this it would make you the best in my opinion. word up.