Mind Spoken [feat] ELEETE

ELEETE
I can't escape through the pen, my thoughts are trapped
I'm havin a mind collapse throughout my cerebral tracks
Is it something I lack? Or is it just that I'm wack?
Or is it cause im better than many who're afraid to face facts?
My brain's paralized, no movement in my glarin eyes
Like a petrified, frozen synical hectic mind
I'm ready to let loose for no one to notice my skill
Continue being unknown, but never destroying my will
And keep doing whatever it takes to be respected
The respect I've deserved for so long, but forever neglected
My talents always been rejected, never accepted
Never met the expectations of what others expected
So what am I supposed to do? Bow down to you?
If I did I'd be hypocritical...an wouldn't be true
You are all the reason I was split into ELEMENCE
Cause according to you ELEETE's flow was always irrelevant
But ill strive an continue in any way to express my self
Ill make others listen...even though I remain in stealth
Ill go through hell if I have to, just to say what I said
Fuck it I've spoken my mind, the rest ill leave up to Dev

Dev
The grain of paper is flavoured by the pen
Yes…Its written but misunderstood by the standard men
When will it be recognised by the average flame
1 in 10 …yes… are blinded by the lyrical drain
Its too free ranged…why?… the tempo is quickening
Its untamed… the listening is too raw to be fitting in
Like a clot on the brain… but once ya really hear, it’s sane
Not insane… ya got riffs, bass, keys, loops, all the same
Yes, the concept remains… it’s the audience that changes
Like different stage names… some this and some not
That’s why im rhyming this simplicity… for the Indi lot
Ha ha…rather!… this is to the toff’s…
But hip-hop’s the father of the expression lit youth…
Its real raw… don’t understand?… well that’s just profuse!
No…it may not conform, but my content can be related
Cos in turn if ya can fragmentate it... it’s not created
That’s why my words are a struggle, no doubt… underrated
Cause a tussle… well… to those who think they hustle
That’s why ya can’t tell by the outer plated… it’s jus muscle
So I really fly, it’s just novice readers!… their skillz deflated
My vocab, flow, play, is coined… the greatest
…Lol… nah… but like Ali the rap has made it
I’m spitting it proud… so, blah… yes now its tainted
So all in all, its allowed… makes simple men creative!
Ya can’t debate this…no… my spoken mind portrays this

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...447post1212447
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...463post1212463

Hmm....
Nice piece...
Eleete did better than
i thought he would...
Dev also did dope job
Nice flow, good wordplay

Beginning was strong..
Stayed pretty good
throughout the whole thing
Props...
Keep it up...

This is Wack! <-That's my new auto reply :)

^^funny, but ya freepostin is geting a joke.....

damn...one of your nicest eleete in my opinion...great wording and rhyme flow throughout the piece...pretty dope overall...

dev...yours started off a little slow but it picked up and flowed nicely...nice message and delivery...keep em comin...

Hit up my open mic in my sig and/or battle...thanks....pz

^^ appreciate it yo! ^^

Nice drop from both of you..i think with eleetes feeling and dev's imagary and way with words made this piece hott..It was a good read, had a better then average in every category lol..Stay droppin fire to both of you..
~1~

Nice drop from both of you..i think with eleetes feeling and dev's imagary and way with words made this piece hott..It was a good read, had a better then average in every category lol..Stay droppin fire to both of you..
~1~

I agree this was a nice peice here....Both of you came off nice in this....both of you had good vocab....i liked the content in both of the verses....I liked the way ELEETE opened up his verse, i thought it was good....and Dev ended the piece good as well...overall a nice collab, enjoyed the read.

^^Thanks^^

Eleete - Tha flow was... whoa... it had one of tha best flows on this board so far, tha word'n was pretty dope... I felt this verse G, tight work... 8.5/10

Dev - Didn't come as hott as Eleete, but ur verse was still hott, loved tha wordin', and I dunno why, but I felt this line - 'The grain of paper is flavoured by the pen' if you had a multi to go wit that, it would of been hott... 7.5/10, no hate though cuz, this was pretty hott

Overall - 8/10...

I appologise for this, but, i only read Devs piece....

This was a good read my man..Your structure was well put together...(Really diffirent to the battle we had in SS)

I enjoyed it..Your topic was the kind i preffer...

Ohhh and by the way....=) That SS thing in your sig is real nice...Itl look lovely in my sig tho...Pink Font and all...lolol....

Anyway, Peep my piece Breh.....

^^it will NEVER be your title.... not while im still alive... ha ha....

Blah...Atleast a UK cat holds it...lol...

im hearing ya..... but come on man... take away the pink... your not reppin a country of fags....lmao.....

LMFAO....

Only GanKstuhs rep pink Man..!!

But ur very true...My sig does need to be re-decorated.....

Uppin this yo!!

this is a nice lil collab you got there....im gonna have to say that eleete was nicer with his verse than dev was....i mean with lines like "You are all the reason I was split into ELEMENCE
Cause according to you ELEETE's flow was always irrelevant"...and that "remain in stealth" line was tight too...i mean i'd rewind that if i was listening to it.... i could understand where your comming from with that drop.....dev, yeah you did start off kinda slow...but you picked it up towards the middle and the end..you had a couple tight lines in there too..."That’s why im rhyming this simplicity..." and "Yes, the concept remains… it’s the audience that changes" (i was just thinking along the lines of that this morning...wondering why people start hating on the rappers that they build up to be so great....is it the music changes?...or the people listening??) anyway....dev yours was tight too...but it just seemed a lil hard to follow...with the "yes..." interruptions and pauses......and eleete you havent really shown me any weakness in your storytelling yet...even though i've only seen like 2-3 of your drops lol (and this one seemed kinda short) but this makes me wanna peep the next one....aiight im out

hey this shit is tight I agree wit them I think eleete was a little better but overall raw

Pure dopeness here... Imagery was indescribable... Topic was original... and the flow was unstoppable... This shit truly came from the heart, not the tongue. Deep and emotional.. Structures were set up nice.. I also noticed some nice wordplay in there... Dope piece guys.. Keep at it..

Peace.

^^Uppin This^^

You both came pretty strong on this. Eleete had more emotion it seemed but Dev had some nice insights there which I think some might miss. I'll break 'em down separately.

Eleete
Flow was very nice - I've noticed some improvement in just the short time I've been on here, vocab level was good in about the first half and it dropped off a little after that but was still ok. You did good with the transition line. Saw a few lines that I think could use a little adjustment:
"Like a petrified, frozen synical hectic mind"
rhymes a little better if you just pluralize it to:
"Like petrified, frozen, cynical, hectic minds"
and
"Cause according to you ELEETE's flow was always irrelevant"
I think is better as:
"Cause according to you ELEETE's flow was pure irrelevance"
Nice piece however - I liked - as said you transmitted your emotion(s) well.

Dev
I liked your awareness - it seemed to be from a third person view. Nice wordplay within - not really wordplay but you flipped ideas nicely. While Eleete's piece comes right for you - yours seemed to kinda sneak around the back door but in the end was just as effective. I liked the closer - although truthfully it didn't really seem a closer - it was more of a beginning.
"1 in 10 …yes… are blinded by the lyrical drain"
Got'ta say that's a conservative figure. Nice work both of you.

most rhymes in the open mic room ain't worth reading but this was.....you got nice lines and they are relevent to each other which I find hard to do but you did it...stay up nigga you gone be nice soon