:shocked:
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:shocked:
Wow..
I loved the opening 4 lines... quite impressive set of content rich lines... really feel the mastery of lyricism...and it goes throughout the piece with only a few places it seemed the vocab has almost over the top... not that i don't like that anyways...
my one semipositive/seminegative comment is that you shuffled from scene to scene and portion to portion rather than a smooth transitions... but the complex internals and multis lend itself to that... sooo.. ima think it's intrinsic the pieces nature...
good stuff like to see a more realized topic but this is interesting to read anyways..
plz return the favour and peep: Sniff n Spliff by Magnificent
^Thanks..and Drop a link...Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnificent
I see still no sign of writters block genious...very good piece again...as well as your first reply the first four lines were very thought out...creative piece...good vocab and what not...the picture your painted was out standing incredible and indepth verses...very complex...it was a good read all the way through...very well done
"Ever heard of Yung's theory of the collective conscious?
It's the idea that we all believe similar selected constants:
society is created from beliefs that we all innately feel
reality is mainly built on what we all have faith is real...
so if I disagree, think separate and let my mind go askew"
^^impressive....keep up the good work...peace
^Thanks rule..I'm humbled... :shocked:Quote:
Originally Posted by rule
Yo homie penskills.....u always got sumtin new to drop n it always comes out dope...damn homie this drop was nuttin but dope, the vocab was on fire, the worplay was hot n the imagery n flow were all on point, no flaw was in this drop in my opinion..keep droppin ur legendary shit n keep spittin..
Peace
^ I left a reply..Drop your links..I'll get back to every single one..Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnificent
Nice one hoebag...
:)...
Pz...
fav lines
"L.A.: Where the hopeless walk the creases of the city-fortress
that’re patroled by the Corporation’s Yakuza swordsman,
who carry energy blades and scanners to find enemy prey"
"A decision that his sister, Jasmyn, paid for with her life.
But he downloaded her soul to a chip that he wears at all times"
Hit up mine..frsh drop from de cerebral
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115872
Peace
^Very Gay reply! from very gay guy! (where you been?)Quote:
Originally Posted by Freeman
Unbelievable...the imagery on this was so picture perfect....the vocab and flow kept right on point...one of my best reads ever...keep up the dopeness...drop a vote in my battle... Link : http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112742
Keep up the niiiice work...pz
^ :) .....Thanks for the Nod in legends...Quote:
Originally Posted by Word Definate
Penskills you outdid yourself again. This piece was like the next level and it was fucken genius:) i loved how it opened up... the middle was verse was good two and your use of good vocab but being able to keep it all within a good flow shows your potentional as a writer. You Dev, dez, Freeman, and Baron Mind never dissapoint me with a piece.... so props and thanks for the good read
^I try :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Eki
wack wack wack WACK!...... another dope drop... what ya want me to say... ya on my level.... so i'd be critisising myself...lol... keep on it... lets collab some time soon....... lata'
^I'm light years ahead of you.... :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Dev
^Gay ass reply! :cussing:Quote:
Originally Posted by Unwritten Hazard
You have obnormal lumps/bruises on your head, dont you?
No one can be that dope on such a consistant level...Jesus Christ.....Good...EVERYTHING...
You gotta get your brain catscanned or something...
Computer had a virus...Quote:
Originally Posted by Penskills
Damn :(...
Fixed now though :)...
Nice droppage...
Pz...
^Dope...Dope...this proves..I'm over`rated...... :evilgrin:Quote:
Originally Posted by MC PINACLE
i would love to know where you get your inspiration from, everytime i peep something of yours my brain aches, you have improved so much in most all aspects since i first ever heard you, and i supported you fully then, so just think how much i love you now! your untouchable...
peep mine for me homie!
He Killed Her
I dont wana sound like a Fag and say "Its All Good"....
But the truth of this matter is -
Its All Good...
Things like Internals and clever "Verse Changing Skills" like them werent needed in a piece like this...The story was AMAIZING...
*Applauds*
This piece was excellent, can't think of one thing wrong wid it..Tha whole piece had a constant flow, and you stayed on topic..Everything was on-point, now if you don't get recommended in to RB's Legends for this, it's def. a fact that this site is run by tyrants lol.. But on tha real this piece was tight had to be one of tha hottest pieces i've seen on any site ever..So keep droppin like that, and let your deep feelings take you places you never thought you'd be..
~1~
^Thanks... :)
"That vibrate in the wounds, turnin’ burning flesh to slush
They say the pain actually kills you before the bullet does…"
Fuck Penisskills..that shit is like always..dope..
I try and find something on you to point out..
Yet I find nothing...The imagry and storyline..
Dope..
The Vocab and flow to make it seem like a story..
Dope..
The internals and multis used to make a sexy RS..
Dope..
Can you please fuck up for once so I don't have to feel so miniscule when talking to yoo..my old N.O.G friend..
Very Nice, Like alot before, the first opening lines were amazing. I haven't read alot of your pieces for a while, but I see that from when you joined Hemisphere and now, You have improved your writing. Very good piece, not much I can criticize on, I may have lost the flow here/there, The ending verse could've been expected, But the ending lines were dope as hell, Liked those lines. Not much else I can critique on. Great Drop.
Penskills. . I condemn you to TWO STRAIGHT DROPS OF WACKNESS!!! MUAHAHA!. . god damnit, it can't be done. . once again, you come dope as fuck in every catergory. . flow was amazingly orgasmic and rolled of the tonuge. . it's that gangksta in you, all gangkstas can flow, scrayate up! <-- oo, scrayate is the new word. . seriously, the opneing 6 bars were dope. . the LA part was illness personified. . can you ever be wack ? just one time ?
N.O.G... :shoot:Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsar Casm
deffinant dope drop...everything was on key...i cant say much that i havent said in your other threds other then your dope and you seize to amaze me in your work...dont elevate...you might explode
lol... this was amazing...
you're unbelievable man.
You love that gory shit
but still it was deep.
Very, very... dare I say..
legendary? Certainly amussing.
It never seizes to amaze me the type of quality you put into your work......by far this is your best piece I've read from you....this is nothing less than legendary which I'm sure it will become....dope....once again you imagery was one of the best if not the best I've read here on RB.......this piece truly outdoes every other one of your pieces by far......I can tell you put a lot of thought into this one....peace!
:evilgrin: :laugh2: :evilgrin:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystery~murdera
BUmp it up~~~~ :)
Dam Pen this was ill. The begining is what hit me so hard.
"Ever heard of Yung's theory of the collective conscious?
It's the idea that we all believe similar selected constants:
society is created from beliefs that we all innately feel
reality is mainly built on what we all have faith is real...
so if I disagree, think separate and let my mind go askew
Those lines right there was the narritave hook. Captured me to read the rest of this.
---->The flow of this was insipiring, and the imagery was insane. Dam pen by far i think you're the best open mic head in this site. Much love and respect.
~holla if ya hear me
^ Thank you... :)Quote:
Originally Posted by ...WuN...
DRIVE BY...
You know what ive said...
Hit up my OM to save me upping it myself...
Thanks... :)...
Pz...
ZOOMS OFF
everybody has pretty much said it here man,
i was digging the opener a lot,
so as soon as i read that,
i knew it was going to be good,
you got good vocab in your peices,
and thats a big plus to me,
like, a real big factor, lol ,
dont know why, anywayz,
the flow was kool, fell off at points,
but nonetheless it picked back up,
may i also add, this had some real nice imagery,
seriously, thats another factor to me,
overall this was a decent read and i give it,
a 8.5/10, not bad dude, props.
* even though u only left a 1 line reply on my peice, :rolleyes:
and i know this belongs in poetry,
i always post my peices in both,
as i was told to get more feedback,
although ya'll cant see that,
and i haven't got any feedback,
knowing on whati should work on,
lol, but its all good, i aint sweatin it,
nonetheless, props, good read.
peace.
^Dope :evilgrin:Quote:
Originally Posted by ELEETE