Unwritten Hazard __vs__ illtalic

12 lines..

due in an hour..

i'll post first..

no feedin..

same old same old..

check in soon as ya see this..

i spit, rip, then i vanish........... posting fake votes in the ballot///
im getting votes from illtalic....using eleborate tactics to become a HAZARD fanatic//
what a faggot, tryin to front, imma leave you soaked like a pump in a swamp///
then make "iLLtalic" bleed, like ink from a "font"//
your avatar says "really is that gully"//
he probably ment to type "REALLY IM UGLY"//
you got nothing, like the "projects" im buring your "garbage" fast///
really fag, i wouldnt let you "blow me" if your were an atomic blast///
this kids a "JOKE", he should change his name from illtalic to "COMIC" sans



9 lines should be sufficient
l

fuck an hour, KEY somthin

Today, 07:04 AM
illtalic

Today, 07:16 AM
Unwritten Hazard

The Chemist already dropped u .. now im makin sure ya really hurt
the past is the same as ya future.. dead an buried beneath the dirt…
Style resembles ya heroes.. a long forgotten boy band
I’ll call u Justin.. cos outta Sync ya clapped by ya own hand…
So drop ya 2 cents.. ya can even drop nickels an dimes
But like big nosed coke addicts I’ll simply hoover ya lines…
Cos Illtalic’s the Harold Shipman of RB.. ‘Dr Death’ will do fine
im performin talent transplants.. so now ya ass is really mine…
The votes'll never be in ur favor kid.. no one understands ya vibe
cos scratchin at the surface of talent DOES NOT make u a Scribe...
Nicca I'll plant ya face on the side of the road.. so ya constantly see the curb
Breedin slurs.. call this bitch a Root.. he has to elevate jus to be a Herb...

lol nice


i like the ending

we should have went like 20 lines
so i coulda used

"im more "BOLD" then illtalic"
or "your not ILL-talic, your just ILL-iterate"

or somthing like that,



good battle, uppn 4 votes

Unwritten ~

i spit, rip, then i vanish........... posting fake votes in the ballot///
im getting votes from illtalic....using eleborate tactics to become a HAZARD fanatic//
not a bad use of multis, nice opener
what a faggot, tryin to front, imma leave you soaked like a pump in a swamp///
then make "iLLtalic" bleed, like ink from a "font"//
hmm..ok, ok..i feel ya here..
your avatar says "really is that gully"//
he probably ment to type "REALLY IM UGLY"//
kinda the corny humor..so so
you got nothing, like the "projects" im buring your "garbage" fast///
really fag, i wouldnt let you "blow me" if your were an atomic blast///
this kids a "JOKE", he should change his name from illtalic to "COMIC" sans
very creative closer, liked the last line, lol

~~

illtalic ~

The Chemist already dropped u .. now im makin sure ya really hurt
the past is the same as ya future.. dead an buried beneath the dirt…
ehh, wasnt feeling this..
Style resembles ya heroes.. a long forgotten boy band
I’ll call u Justin.. cos outta Sync ya clapped by ya own hand…
lol!
So drop ya 2 cents.. ya can even drop nickels an dimes
But like big nosed coke addicts I’ll simply hoover ya lines…
wasnt feelin it...sorta...wack
Cos Illtalic’s the Harold Shipman of RB.. ‘Dr Death’ will do fine
im performin talent transplants.. so now ya ass is really mine…
good general diss..not a personal though..
The votes'll never be in ur favor kid.. no one understands ya vibe
cos scratchin at the surface of talent DOES NOT make u a Scribe...
hmmmm....so so at best..
Nicca I'll plant ya face on the side of the road.. so ya constantly see the curb
Breedin slurs.. call this bitch a Root.. he has to elevate jus to be a Herb...
second line was good lol

Damn, overall, this was actually close. But but but...reading it over again, I liked Unwritten's approach better. You were both equal with flow, structure, illtalic..you spit any multis? maybe in the closer, might be stretching it...

Anyways, Ima have to give this to Unwritten, but overall, this was a really good battle, you 2 should consider a rematch...

Vote ~ Unwritten

Hit this up...sry, forgot to post it..

Gracias..

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=114599

Damn at not puttin 'no herbish votes' in the rules.. oh well.

Man, I'm just giving my honest opinon man, damn.

^werd 2 illtalic that was gay..lmfao............
rite ill took this wateva man its clear ,
unwritten you had some really nice wordplay,
but your verse was newbish man no hate but,
wats all the * // for leave em out next time,
also your punches were ok but they didnt hit as hgard ad ill's,
ill had a much better strucutre and flow also,
v-ill..........................

plz hit this up now http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...5&page=2&pp=15 thx alot no hate........

Someone on my wavelength!

Wahey!

thanks/// 4 ////the ///vote//

lol i smell a rematch

unwritten-u didnt really have any decent punches in ya verse......u had some nice flow and multies but u didnt have hard punches...that is the main part of a battle...also u need to stop putting "" around ya words that is newbish....overall below average verse....4/10

illtalic-decent verse.....u had consistancy and a few nice punches....i liked your closer it was real creative....u took this battle wit more creativity and consistancy...overall decent verse.......6/10

v/illtalic

-uppn-

in my opinion i think illtalic took this

punches: ill But like big nosed coke addicts I’ll simply hoover ya lines…
Cos Illtalic’s the Harold Shipman of RB.. ‘Dr Death’ will do fine

personals: ill The votes'll never be in ur favor kid.. no one understands ya vibe
cos scratchin at the surface of talent DOES NOT make u a Scribe...

flow: both had aight structure but ills was better

structure: ill had better because his were about even

overall i gotta go with illtalic

peep mine

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111414

yo,

ILLTALIC..you had an aiight flow and your structure was good. You had some good punches and personals. I liked your closer . You had good wordplay and creativity and consistency...Keep it up

UNWRIITEN...You had a nice flow and an aiight structure. You has some punches but they didnt hit hard enough. No real personals. No wordplay..Keep at it though..

Vote ILLTALIC

return da favour plz...http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=114476

I'm not one to be harsh with criticism. So I'll stay with helping.

Unwritten- You need to start thinking outside the box... Don't use concepts that are common because common concepts WILL be played. You have potential though. Re word your lines until they sound perfect and try to keep each line the same length. Work on your structure as well. Don't use //s "s *s or any other symbols.

illtalic- Same with you.. think outside the box.. I see you were trying to get witty with a few concepts but they were all easy to think of and too common. They were all played. Your structure wasn't bad but you've been here long enough now and you need to break loose from these n00bs. Start reading elite battles and try to get in LLL after you elevate. Battling in Front Lines will not help you.

My vote goes to illtalic because he had better concept ideas and harder punches. Both came weak and both came played but illtalics punches were harder.

V/ illtalic

^ Appreciate it Token.. ya rite there.. i prefer Elevated but votin takes too long.. but i'll stick at it cos i know iv gotta rise..

an im followin links.

i guess illtalic got this one


thanks 4 the votes



but ive been Keyin for 6 years, and im stuck doing //// " " " " " its my thing, its not newbish just how i write my flows.

peace

penis

Token Black guy

At least I.C.U left wiv his head held high.. dumb fukk..

Thanx fa votin peeps..

-uppn- to finish this

Yo Hazard.. sometimes ya jus gotta break wiv ya own traditions.. if puttin all those symbols at the end of ya lines is losin ya respect.. kus stop it!

Simplicity is the key.. forget bold, italic, different font, size etc.. jus make sure ya words are fire.

aight illtalic got this for better punches and personals

ill-nice punches
good peronals
nice flow
good structure
nice openeing
i liked the closer
nice verse,very constant
8-10

unwritten-so so punches
no good personals
ok flow
didnt like the structure
opener was ok
closer was aight
dont bold ur shit,cap it or put those marks on ur punches
5-10

v/illtalic...for a better verse and punches