My Teenage Eyes

Perspectives of my lifes emotions constantly denied to believe
Declare everything normal as I choke everytime I try to breath
From heart felt memeries of the past now the devils my friend
I turn my head to my pillow to pray to the lord for help again
Comfort me..because..i'm going to be absolutly honest now
These are my true..emotions..listen.. as I try to calm down

Constantly trying to fit in with a crowd attempt a regular smile
Say something rediculous as usual another case on my trial
Act hyper..if i wasn't chrostaphibic..Basically I hide my identity
How does a kid who hides in shadows have so many enimies
I try to understand put these horrors in the back of my mind
Attempt a new day with a new sun but days seem to rewind
Hit replay another preview no commercials for hope or trust
Pretend i'm special..but dam..I know i'm another piece of dust
Images of a best friends support unlikely vital attempts..abort
I'm reachin out my hand right beside you I still end up short
A regular bases I clown myself I hate the person in the mirrow
No friends or lovers just a river flowen thats dirty. It's unclear

Restricted from guidness so I ask my self these questions
Who am I? Why's the devil on my shoulders? A life lesson?
Nobody really knows councillers don't help a waiste of time
Longin to be a somebody..but what's out there for the blind?
Regular routine of pitty with a rainbow above from my tears
But these tears aren't skiddles there to let out my lonely fears
Obscene emotions to the society that surrounds my actions
Doesn't enforce friendship..hell..only participated attraction
Leaving me left cold I feel devistated but to who do I explain
My every tear, envy, wish hope, ounce of adapted pain..who..
When nothings what you see or what you see is nothing..true?
I'll touch bases on all my lost smiles fired onta another face
Where a frown was suppose tobe neglected but took its place

Heart pumps slow for the blood is leaking out of the skin tissue
Propably wont live tobe old concious says who gunna miss you
So I concentrate on whats good but it leaves a blank page
Against evil loves a puberty issue..it's just another stage
That lasts when your asleep until dreams evolve spirites
Chases cupid out of my destiny a mans supose tobe fearless
Unprotected soul lost in the fog of a acid dynasty to erupt
I'll have another day to deny myself..but enough is enough
Taking issues as they came isn't resolving anthying at any rate
Lost child who's birthed with a mom on the pill..a true mistake
Lifes full of regrets don't take sympathy as it comes I learned
Gave advice in the past..now the tables irationaly turned
Physically lookin at M-J you wouldn't see any differance of me
Hated now..tragic..I listen to the words in the past for theropy
Character trade off..love for hate..hate for love..it's retarded
Ask another question..if lifes torture..why even let it be started

Life isn't all fun and games Life's a game and it isn't amusing
Strings break examples of hate are all around you blooming
But the peddles of a flower unwatered are still worth reading
Still worthy of a fresh bucket of water to continue breathing
I'll attack my life painting with a brush built for a storm..
take what is truthfully mine..
Even though hell was where I was born...
Paralized hate for 16 years I see clear the depths of demies
stabilized the hate..
To let loose..create a heavon for my teenage eyes...


Feedback On This Would Be Apreciated..Thanks...Any Links I'll Hit yours up Also.

Peace

"Perspectives of my lifes emotions constantly denied to believe
Declare everything normal as I choke everytime I try to breath"

Deep line..suffocation

"Constantly trying to fit in with a crowd attempt a regular smile
Say something rediculous as usual another case on my trial
Act hyper."

Nice flow and a good formated line...nice expression...

"Chases cupid out of my destiny a mans supose tobe fearless
Unprotected soul lost in the fog of a acid dynasty to erupt
I'll have another day to deny myself"

Well thought out line....Nice...


"I'll attack my life painting with a brush built for a storm.."

Nice artistic view...

Flow was there...Nice peice going back to your teenage year..
made me understand what you were going threw...
well done....

Laters..

Really Feelin' This Piece. . I Liked The Teenage Perspective. . So, Content Was Def Dope. . Vocab Was Nice, Multi's Were Good. . Imagery Was Dope When Used. . I Jus Loved Readin' This Piece, I Almost Read It Again, But I'm Tired As Fuck. . Much Props On This Man Forreal. .

Perspectives of my lifes emotions constantly denied to believe
Declare everything normal as I choke everytime I try to breath
^ ^ ^ Had Me Hooked On The 1st Two Bars Dog. . Dope Opening.

- Return The Favor On My Piece. . . Fate . . . Much Appreciated -

this was a good piece........... i think you did everything perfectly and your structure and flow were flawless......... you should really drop more open mics............ pz

thanks...uppen for some more replies...don't sleep

Uppen

...uppen for some feedback...

Attempt a new day with a new sun but days seem to rewind
Hit replay another preview no commercials for hope or trust
Pretend i'm special..but dam..I know i'm another piece of dust

damn so deep shit..definetely feeling the flow...multi's are unpredictable..nice...

Life isn't all fun and games Life's a game and it isn't amusing

nice touch...

lost you flow sometimes towards the end...an multi's stopped being so foccussed which hampered flow but nice piece..

drop feedback on this....thanks

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...hreadid=105566

Thanks uppen

up

things get slept on now with out the 3 link rule...fuck

Yeah i noticed that too.

But this was a good piece....i enjoyed the read....the structure in this wa nice.....this piece had some good flow in it i thought, it stayed on point through out the whole piece...you had some nice vocab in there...it was a nice deep piece, made a good read i thought...keep at it.

thanks for the replies...uppen for some more though

Perspectives of my lifes emotions constantly denied to believe
Declare everything normal as I choke everytime I try to breath
"From heart felt memeries of the past now the devils my friend
I turn my head to my pillow to pray to the lord for help again
Comfort me..because..i'm going to be absolutly honest now
These are my true..emotions..listen.. as I try to calm down"

Deep as fuck and made great use of the pauses.Good emotion.


"Constantly trying to fit in with a crowd attempt a regular smile
Say something rediculous as usual another case on my trial
Act hyper..if i wasn't chrostaphibic..Basically I hide my identity
How does a kid who hides in shadows have so many enimies
I try to understand put these horrors in the back of my mind
Attempt a new day with a new sun but days seem to rewind
Hit replay another preview no commercials for hope or trust
Pretend i'm special..but dam..I know i'm another piece of dust
Images of a best friends support unlikely vital attempts..abort
I'm reachin out my hand right beside you I still end up short
A regular bases I clown myself I hate the person in the mirrow
No friends or lovers just a river flowen thats dirty. It's unclear"

Every poetic based emcee has been here,explained emotions very well and used great imagery.

"Restricted from guidness so I ask my self these questions
Who am I? Why's the devil on my shoulders? A life lesson?
Nobody really knows councillers don't help a waiste of time
Longin to be a somebody..but what's out there for the blind?
Regular routine of pitty with a rainbow above from my tears
But these tears aren't skiddles there to let out my lonely fears
Obscene emotions to the society that surrounds my actions
Doesn't enforce friendship..hell..only participated attraction
Leaving me left cold I feel devistated but to who do I explain
My every tear, envy, wish hope, ounce of adapted pain..who..
When nothings what you see or what you see is nothing..true?
I'll touch bases on all my lost smiles fired onta another face
Where a frown was suppose tobe neglected but took its place"

Explained the pains and sorrow you can feel at this point in life.

"Heart pumps slow for the blood is leaking out of the skin tissue
Propably wont live tobe old concious says who gunna miss you
So I concentrate on whats good but it leaves a blank page
Against evil loves a puberty issue..it's just another stage
That lasts when your asleep until dreams evolve spirites
Chases cupid out of my destiny a mans supose tobe fearless
Unprotected soul lost in the fog of a acid dynasty to erupt
I'll have another day to deny myself..but enough is enough
Taking issues as they came isn't resolving anthying at any rate
Lost child who's birthed with a mom on the pill..a true mistake
Lifes full of regrets don't take sympathy as it comes I learned
Gave advice in the past..now the tables irationaly turned
Physically lookin at M-J you wouldn't see any differance of me
Hated now..tragic..I listen to the words in the past for theropy
Character trade off..love for hate..hate for love..it's retarded
Ask another question..if lifes torture..why even let it be started"

Growing older now and explaining this well,very poetic with heartfelt emotion.

"Heart pumps slow for the blood is leaking out of the skin tissue
Propably wont live tobe old concious says who gunna miss you
So I concentrate on whats good but it leaves a blank page
Against evil loves a puberty issue..it's just another stage
That lasts when your asleep until dreams evolve spirites
Chases cupid out of my destiny a mans supose tobe fearless
Unprotected soul lost in the fog of a acid dynasty to erupt
I'll have another day to deny myself..but enough is enough
Taking issues as they came isn't resolving anthying at any rate
Lost child who's birthed with a mom on the pill..a true mistake
Lifes full of regrets don't take sympathy as it comes I learned
Gave advice in the past..now the tables irationaly turned
Physically lookin at M-J you wouldn't see any differance of me
Hated now..tragic..I listen to the words in the past for theropy
Character trade off..love for hate..hate for love..it's retarded
Ask another question..if lifes torture..why even let it be started"

Lookin abit more optimistically at life now and well expressed,used multies and imagey aswell as nice pauses to encouraage the flow.


Overall a poetic prayer here,to me resembles the prayer before DMX starts spiitin in "Ready To Meet Him",used wordplay,multiez,imagery,flow to express a raw emotion.This is the best peice i've seen of yours,deep like some of my stuff so i appreciated it.Very good stuff enjoyable read.

P.s Hit mine up if you can

Peace

alright i'll hit yours up soon...and thankd for the indepth reply

wholly shit man this was dope cant wwait till i c ure collab verse

This was all good it was packed with quotables my fav was prolly this line

Perspectives of my lifes emotions constantly denied to believe
Declare everything normal as I choke everytime I try to breath

Very deep line, And i love deep shit,

Nice flow, - very nice had good internals, and u have a great ryme scheme

Nice lines here

So I concentrate on whats good but it leaves a blank page
Against evil loves a puberty issue..it's just another stage

Mmmmm lately i have been tryin to think of something positive to write about but its nearly impossible

Dope peice

uppen for some feedback...it's long but i think you'll enjoy it..

bein slept on...

Wow, The thing that hit me the most about this piece, is that most males in their mid-teenage days will feel like that....(Sometimes)

I like the way you wrote it, asif your fresh from attending such trials in life...

Im not the kind to judge skill and shit like that when it comes to people who CAN really write a BADAZZ verse...lol

I loved this piece because it could be put in the manule of life...*Applauds*

Hey Rule...It looks like its me and you in SS next....=)....

yeah man...should be a close one i hope....

i thought that was so beautiful.. wow, what to say, im in shock, that was great man... good job with that. perfection at its best... i could tell you put a lot into that...