rules
10-15 lines...max
reg'la house rules
he drops first
topic-personal suicidal thoughts...
Printable View
rules
10-15 lines...max
reg'la house rules
he drops first
topic-personal suicidal thoughts...
aight, checkin in...here goes....
100char100char100char100char100char100charactersss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
aight...........................100characaters100c haracters......................................... .......................................
why go on living pointlessly day to day/
everything is fuckin pointless, aint no reason to stay/
but i cant show a tear, cuz i gotta be strong/
but inside, shit its different, im being strung along/
by someone else? no, by myself? yes/
sometimes i ache so much i think i should take a gun to my chest/
this shit just aint worth it, death is escape/
who gives a fuck about family, even though hearts may break/
slit my wrist, drain my blood, fall to the floor/
i know that in my head ive fuckin seen this before/
the same pain forever, and it never goes away/
like it or not, my life ends today
i've got all these thoughts runnin through my head, damn, i can't
take the stress anymore...sometimes i wonder would i be better off dead?//
its not like anyone ever liked me in the fist place. they'd never notice i'm gone...i 'vanished without a trace'//
it seems as though i have 'scattered' from my family like 'leaves-droppin-the-fall'//
mom and dad neglected me...when i was i was in danger, they never once tried to fuckin protect me//
pull the trigger and blow the brains right outta me...
maybe thats what i would take for these bitches to see//
^shit...it stretched my lines...oh well...it was ten....let the votin begin....100 characters...100 characters......
prophacyz...ur structure is whack man, u gotta fix that, i see you pointed that out to. You gotta fix that. Even tho prophacyz verse was more creative...doc_knock did create a much better picture in my head about the point he was trying to establish. Both had nice closers even tho prophacyz was stronger in my opinion. Creativity is awarded...But the main point of a topical battle is to create a better image in the readers head about the subject...so
vote- doc_knock
Return the favour by dropping honest votes on the battles in my signature please. Thx.
^ i can respect that. i appreciate ya honesty payce...need mo' niggaz that vote like that on this site....oh well. yes my comp. is fucked and messes up my structure
Yeah Doc's was cool, was like a poem prophacyz u had a good verse too but it was hard to read as everyone else pointed out, other than that u both had good shit but I have to go with doc on that mainly with the line about family and the one about picturing it before, i think every teen goes through that shit good stuff -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
this is my first topical battle, so i don't really know how to do this typa shit...not an excuse...its da truth....
heh...yeah, ive done a few, so i had the up end on that one....
prohacy, check your pm's
100000000000000000000000 char
uppin............................................. .................................................. ..........................................
it ain't against the fuckin law to vote ya know.............................................. .................................................. ...........
hey, i dropped a vote in your battle. Can you guys hit me up with some honest votes on mine plz. thx
Do not ignore his^ comment because he cannot vote back for you or that will be suspicious as in D/r "If You Vote For Me Il Vote For You"
& Also
Read The New Rules
uppin again....we need votes, aint no votes in here
100 charrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrracters yo!
uppin numba 4.
please, we need votes, i cant battle anymore because neither of my two battles is closed, please vote
well iv never voted on a topical battle be4 but here goes.
yall both had some nice verses, had some good lines in them. But knoCc's had better imagery. i could C wut he was sayin in my head so ima have to give it to him.
VOTE-DOC KNOCC
i helped yall out so now help me out by returnin the favor.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...hreadid=101954
~1~
Yeah I gota go with majurity on this one,
I'm new to votein on tha topical battles
but Doc made me feel it more it was more graphic
Both verses we'er killin and im not hatein on prophacyz for tha messed structure cause sumtimes it does tha same to myne when i post but i gota go with doc
Vote - Doc
uppin............................................. .................................................. ................
hmm very interesting u both are challenging 2 get into Textbook so im guna vote honestly!!
doc_knock u had good structure man and ggod flow but prophacyz went better and easier 2 read so im going 4 prophacy!!
no hate and doc_knock u have impressed me alot so ur lookin good 4 my crew prophacyz i have added u 2 textbook!!
prophezys came realer but a bit choppier and a little unaimed.. dock knok like every1 else has stated came with a type of poetic verse, which is a little more believable with this topic.. a little more structured with some nice imagery, proph had the thoughts a real suicide cat would have but just came up a liiiiiitttle bit short.. so ima have to go with dockknock, both came kool
final up...cmon, this one is close, lets close it up
need more votes, and i want to battle again god damnit, someone vote
Ya'll both had some good flow. Proph, you gotta work on that structure dog. You also need to say more and make yourself clearer. Doc, you was all clear. Next time, I wanna hear more.
Vote is for Doc
yea. this is my first topical battle as well. but lemme break it down:
you both had some nice drops. the flows were ok, but proph, ur lines were stretched. and like payce said, doc gave me a good miage in my head and thats what topicals are supposed to do. proph, u did have some good shit as did doc, but im goin with doc because of the whole image thing. keep going guys. your doing great.
vote - doc
be sure to hit the battles in my sig. p'z
Doc knock had better structure and that is important in a topical battle. He came very visual and deep with his drop, good shit.
Prophacyz was hot but it made it hard to read with that structure and therefore imagery and impact and all that shit were affected..
Vote.Doc