-
my second free style
yo this one is ok but aint all that cuz its only my second so yea here it goes
yo so u want me to rap like marshal
and say shit bout myself so u can say anything else
fuck it ill tell ya somthin u dont kno
my girl might be a hoe and sucked his dick
his, his, and his too but it aint that bad
cuz see he fucked ur dad and you
bitch i aint askin you to suck my dick
oh shit i just spit it
i dont need to relize i see the fear in ur eyes
when i ryme u run and hide everytime
it makes u choke now the people laughin at u like u a joke
-
-
umm I wasnt really Feelin It Flow Wuz Very Choppy At Times It Was Hard To Get It......U Could Have Extended Ya Bars A bit More......Too Simple Add Some Wordplay , Multis n Some Vocab (U Kno Big Words LOL Newb)but practice some more n drop Sumthin Else
-
Flow wasn't very good, but you got teh structure down a little better...add multis to as many lines as possible and use a bigger vocab
-
did u forget to rhyme?
thats all my feedback
-
Flow was crazy off man. Also, it would do you some good to try to attempt to up your vocab. I can tell your new, but dont be discouraged and keep at it. Itll come along.
-
dawg i wasn't feelin it, theres a lot it need, ex. Rhyme, but keep workin dawg, keep ya head up and hold'em down
-
...Hmmm.....I agree with other 'Judges'.. I'm just not feeling it...
-
Thats need more work then a bum at a job centre.
First of all, its too little, aint nobody wanna read that.
Second, talk real shit, and stop talking abouts hoes and dicks and smacking people out, thats getting played. man i wanna read about some real shit.
Keep elevating aight, peace
-
ya like the others said... very short...
needs more word play... structure could get better
sorry but i really wasnt feelin it at all...
-
your rap was tooooooooooooooooooooo short nigga
it was hard as fuck to readddddddddddddd
didn't always rhymmmeeeeeeeeeeeee
and was mostly offffffffffffffffffffffff every damn time
but good job for trying man I feel dat shit at least!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
yeh it was short but some of it was rad
u need to work on u rymes
and defo u flow
return faver>>http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=99921
sfe
peace out
-
just a newbie
I just want to tell ya I'm new to this game
but since I'm cool and all I won't rearrange yo frame
If any of ya'll cats want to fuck wit me
just know i'm the one and only T.I.C
I ain't callin you out
ya'll motha fuckas is soft as cream
Just remember my ass is only 15 :cussing:
Peace out!!!!!!!!(yo shit was tight) :thumbup:
-
That shit was short and it still meerked tha first dude
-
u had yo chance at shinning but now its my turn
yo shit remind me of weed it always getting burn
Nigga you aint real, stick to yo job on tha corner
nigga I hang wit g's and loc's that smoke dat fi marujuanna
yo rhyme wun shit my bitch can kill that
didn't understand tha first time i advise you to rewind this shit back
well i admit you tried yo best
but i must confess
i'm lyrically blessed
so dont mess wit a tru thug that came from tha streets
i can rap arcapello fuck nigga i dont need no beat
yo shit was stupid, it didn't make no sense
what now dirty, i'll fuck yo bitch so she can give u a rinse
fuck around nigga i'll have u eatin my drugs
nigga u aint heard shit till u heard me, Original Thug
I'm out this bitch O.T.
