The Demon Within'

Ta2_tears
NYisBack

I listen so closely, whispers so ghostly, what is this insisting existance that controls me?
for i am the demon within, controllin ur sin, mostly the one killin u slowly
My sickness consoling, in quickness patroling, whats the explanation for my insanity?
i am the controller of all, settin' u up for the fall, not a religious soul, so i destroy christianity
"Oh the fucking humanity", I curse with profanity, be gone! Rid of you're evil will
stop with the cursing, u will force me to kill, how can u talk with such anger to sumthing thats merely real
This is clearly real! Or I am severly ill, this can't be true, have I turned crazy?
i would have to say yes see, and with this soul ur so deadly, only way to rid it is to grow up and face me
Heart pacing, mind racing, is there any way I can struggle to fight it?
My wicked soul delited, prepare u for fightin, ready for some real excitement?


A woman stands infront of me, I watch her ass from behind but a force is graspin my mind
and now ur heart's beatin' slow too, u want that ass dont u, look she's givin' u signs
My lust with this demon combined, I go to reach for her yet trying to struggle the urge
ur subtle's ubserd, reach out once more, try it again, let your demons emerge
Her muffled slurrs formed puzzled words of screams, as my hand covered her lips
Attack the bitch, lash and whips, leave her clothes full of rips
She smacks and hits, I dont want to but I am full of this sick need to rape
remove her drapes, ignore her screams of rape, block her paths, N ways of escape
Legs spread she was helpless and hopeless, yet still I filled her voilently
u did it, suprisingly, but for ur last task finally, you'll kill her so silently


My heart stopped at those words. I dont think I can do it. I am not capable
u did all the rest, and i put u to the test, but now im ashamed of u
You have to be playing dude! I dont kno if I can take another human life
she'll snitch if u dont fool, for less evidence u could use a knife
In the persuing strife I gazed down at her, all battered and bruised
jus look at the clues, i am demandin' u, if u dont, u will get sued
He was right, she was practically dead, but to finish her off, the thought was chilling
suck it up be a man, change from frowns to now grinning, lets end this shit, now on with the killing
Emotions spilling, though I did the horrible deed and left with no feeling of sin
No remorse, am I a bad person? of course not, its "THE DEMON WITHIN"

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aight this was pretty good. trhe use of multies were very good and it helped the flow along alot. the set up of the structure must-ve toook forever pming/aiming back and forth too eachother, so yeh its pretty good.. some felt a bit forced though.. try working on that, as well as the rhyme scheme, which was a little decent than i expected... overall keep at it.. try to keep the flow consistent as well.. it was all over the place

hit up my piece of work "Tomborrow"

uppin

straight hot

Ny..you had a nice flow with the bars you did
very deep shit..i liked the vocab and wordplay
keep this shit up..

tears..you had a nice flow..your bars were also hot
really nice flow and mettas
yak boith had multies

overall=19/20

this was a hot drop..i liked everything on this..keep this kind of shit up...way to go yal..

thanks soulstice and phade... and i agree with u soul, this piece was mainly for NY's elevation for it's his 3rd topical and i was trying to familiarize him with multis and how to react to the bars that i set up for him... and in my mind he did and amazing job... good work NY you should b proud

and i'll hit up ur piece quick fast

this was great... i thoguht you had a great rhyme shceme and flowed sooo well... i dunno alot of the words just sounded right and fit perfectly... pretty good stuff on the topic... had some good content... i liked this peice i enjoyed reading it kept me pretty interested.... nice work here.

uppin for more feedback

i will hit up links, dont be shy,

jus stop by, we will both hit up ur links actually

this was good very well written and a very nice read keep it both up you too...nice complexitya nd great emotion very well creative!...nice my dudes keep it up!

thnx for the feed, i already hit urs up, im sure he will

uppin for more feedbacc

uppin', lets get sum feedbacc

enuff sleepin

The flow was awsome, realy liked the piece. Keep it up!

Thnx All For The Feedbacc

Leave Links If U Have Them