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i wish
What’s life? A series of events, breaths and moments?
Periods of stress and test, and memories you cant hold in
I’ve been molded into the antitheses of beauty in my eyes
only to look to my grandmother and see perfection arise
im mesmerized at her wisdom that resides deep inside
while past acts as a caged bird jealous at the way time flies
her linear lines try to express experiences I cant relate
every crevice placed on her face has a story with a date
it’s her superior interior that exfoliates the dismay away
she takes grey days and paints portraits to end disarray
her eloquent images portray a brilliance that’s unmatched
on depths of sincerity the surface hasn’t been scratched
I wish I could drift back to our long walks by the creek
capture your essence, hold your picture and never blink
sit on the porch at sunset and watch you sip your drink
have you help me with my homework and see you think
I wish I would have seen you, because now I cant
and decant my soul when you could hear my rant
cherished our times instead of take them for granted
appreciated the fact that you made my life enchanted
how I wish..... how I wish...........
Unfathomable is the healing power of your graceful touch
I used to rest for an eternity in your hugs I loved so much
I indulged in the scent of nurture when in your grasps
smells of roses and mint seemingly made my heart collapse
in fact you were my compass, an everlasting north star
now when im in search of happiness I look where you are
I’ve softened I often cry to the skies, hoping you see me
your presence seems fleeing and loneliness is stampeding
sometimes I speak to the wind, wishing it was your breath
now I think before decisions, wanting to follow your steps
prey we could share times together, not reflect on the past
lose myself in your eyes and float off hearing your laugh
I smile at last reminiscing on times that I often hide from
while you kept my shoes tied, looping laces under your thumb
forever seemed like laying on my back, with feet on your lap
but for you I’d give up all just to get that one moment back
I wish I would have seen you, because now I cant
and decant my soul when you could hear my rant
given you everything pertaining to love in my capabilities
not write metaphors so life doesn’t seem so empty for me
how I wish.... how I wish.........
Through revelations of sustained sensations I found bliss
wished I could bring you back to revisit times I missed
now my mentality switched cuz you were here all along
it’s useless speaking soliloquies, writing poems and song
I know reciting psalms wont put my hand in your palm
continuously trying burnt my heart like napalm in Vietnam
I’ve accepted your exist, while serenity came unexpected
it’s a hard pill to swallow, I digested were still connected
and though I know I cant see you you’re a living legend
breathing, smiling, I can feel you watching me from heaven
I cant bring the past back, and the past includes you
but I can live a suitable life, just like you wanted me to
it’s impossible to change what’s already been done in life
it’s a pointless strife like trying to cut water with a knife
it still makes my heart hurt knowing I cant touch yours
I wish I could rewind time, but those feelings I must ignore
I wish I would have seen you, because now I cant
and decant my soul when you could hear my rant
I wish you could see me grow and kiss me once more
it’s because of you I know what Im living this life for
I wish.... I wish......
We could meet again...
Love, your snuggles
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great drop homie, really deep, i'm feelin this alot, really good flow, exellent vocab, really personal and i like people who can let shit like that out homie, good drop, the structure was good, its almost a perfect drop...
overall: 9.9/10 lol as close as you can get to perfect, great job dog...
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nice fukken rhymes & all sorts of skills fosho
ndope imagery... dope poetical touches...
i dont know what to say this is jsut a dope ill sick piece..
it's quiet an epic piece to write all alone with no collabo
Ill give it sum kind of Nomination .. if i get round to it...
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thanks for the love all. and vortex get around to it if you could. lol. i will go get my links tonight after work.
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nice.. this drop was deep and i liked it alot cuz i too lost my grandmother and this piece was a perfect discription of your feelings... very nice imagery, emotion and vocabulary, liked the wordplay... u have truely elevated alot, i mean u were still tight before but the way u paint pictures now and the way transform poetry and hip hop together jus amazes me... now i aint tryin to sound like a dickrider, im jus showing u the respect u deserve... u've earned it with ur drops... keep droppin... return the favor on my new piece : http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=233270
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Hey, if vortex doesnt nominate you, I'll do it.
Great piece, Dustin, you're going from strength to strength man. You managed to write a full track and keep my attention for the whole piece. The use of imagery and especially the metaphors you used were plain dope. I thought you got the level of vocab just at the right level as well. The flow of the piece, the scenes you painted were all spot on. Great work, you'll win this week for sure.
Def Poets!
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hell yeah wicked good vocab bro i was feelin it
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yeah man you did a real good job on this, it should be nominated. the vocab was perfect, it wasnt stupid and it wasnt to the extent where i had to grab a dictionary so good job on that. the piece flowed together real well. The imagery was way good and the emotion was real good. and yeas which jonny said about the scenes being painted real nice is right, u did a dope job on that. if vortex........or jonny, doesnt nominate you, you can count on me. great job
check out my newest om called sitting here
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pretty dope. gotta say u had sum nice wordplay, creativity, and nice concepts. u did good but there is still room for elevation....even if your dope. so i just gotta say keep up the good work......peace
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djb:
You definitly have elevated from what I have
read from you in the pass. Nice job here with emotion
and discription. You described things you used to
do with your grandmother pretty well. The imagery
was well done a nice touch , and you didn't lose
the rhyme scheme whatsoever. However your first
verse was the best in this piece.
"What’s life? A series of events, breaths and moments?
Periods of stress and test, and memories you cant hold in
I’ve been molded into the antitheses of beauty in my eyes
only to look to my grandmother and see perfection arise
im mesmerized at her wisdom that resides deep inside
while past acts as a caged bird jealous at the way time flies
her linear lines try to express experiences I cant relate"
^ Those lines kept me wanting to read.
A good example of multie usage and imagery.
Nice chorus as well.
Overall a nice piece I must add if your other
verses was as strong like your first, this piece
could have been nominated into Legends and
I'm not talking about legends of the month talking
about Legened members but that's my opinion.
Legends of the month this piece should get nominated
though.
Peace keep dropping.
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great post.. very deep... but what i liked most about this is how well it flowed.. it was very easy to read.. it was long! but i didnt mid because i didnt have to reread lines 3 or 4 times to figure out what your saying.. besides the mettas and vocab all being on lock.. the ability to write something that is so easyily read.. is a good skill that a lot of people dont have! 1
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wow. thank you very much. really means a lot especially from bio chemist. thanks for all the love. everybody dropped nice feed. thanks.
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yeah uppin this for you ....my nominee is in the box coz this piece is moving.. i been online nearly a tear.. and its my 1st nomination
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