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Wasnt bad...the ending was rushed cause you were talking about your personal relationship then just cut to the line about the cops.
Subject matter was consistent for the most part, and the rhymes worked!
I liked the first half more because it was just easier foe me to follow your words and understand what the heck you were talking about, I don't know what TR was talking about but some of your lingo went over my head like cops catchin collars in the first half. But overall its tight for mixtape material.
Agreed with the subject change onto the cops, if they related to your specific situation, you need to transition it a bit better. But agreed - the topic was coo, and flow was good. Some heartfelt shit, should just tie that cop stuff in a bit better. AND RECORD THIS SO I CAN HEAR IT! Word - nice drop. 1
Two links please. :)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=197359Quote:
Originally Posted by Jekyll
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=197109
2 Line Feedback Doesnt Cut It. Sorry.
Its clearly stated in the rules and just because you are a mod now, doesnt mean you dont need to follow them.
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Re-Opened.
Thank you sweety!
Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenStyle
word @ all this. ^ real shit..
I'm mad you said popo. LOL...
Nah, it wasn't bad.
A lil shoert for my taste, but a nice lil read...
Not what I would expect from you...
Good job.
Hit up Around the World when you get time.
Yea, my stuff is usually short because I find that most poeple get bored reading novels. Thank you for the honesty ofcourse. What did you expect from me?..... I'll hit up your O.M 4 sho! :thumbup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Rex
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lay Doubt.
lol I take it you don't like popos very much, u must have had some bad encounters.
well i read some what other people had to say and I pretty much agreed it was a Decent open mic and u managed to show how you felt(or how u wanted us to think u felt) in this verse but I dont agree wit the last two lines suddenly changing subject matter cause u started off talking about the cops
plus it just seemed like a backdrop to what the verse was about you getting away from your problems so it didn't need to be explain much nice drop
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caeser Augustus
Thanx for the feed, I meant that all the shit I went through I wanna get away from it, and I added in the cops thing because I've been hit n abused and they didnt do shit about it, but I got arrested for a gay reason. :thumbup:
I agree with u sayin that people get bored readin novels, and I believe that this was the right length to just read and understand it. I liked the second part better than the first one. People said that the first one was easier to read, but I like to have to think, and some of the second part made me do that. There were 4 lines in there that I thought were really good:
"If ya pockets is empty and u ain’t got a crib
Then u ain’t got shit and u fightin to live"
"There always be niggaz sayin females cant rap
Talkin so much shit like they askin to get clapped"
Nice job, hope to hear from u more.
this was short but it was still good
i agreed wit everything you said in there
"If ya pockets is empty and u ain’t got a crib
Then u ain’t got shit and u fightin to live"-true that
"No matter where I go bitches always actin dumb
Askin why my skins light n where I come from"-true that
"There always be niggaz sayin females cant rap
Talkin so much shit like they askin to get clapped"-true that
damn you touched on racism, how some mafuckas is sexist, the struggle to survive, and my fav subject : how cops are fags
props for that. hit up one of mine in my sig (or all three) anyway good drop
i think im a keep my next om short so people will actually read it. peace