Yo!
Printable View
Yo!
@body bags . Nice verse homie
Anybody else feel like voting in the LLL semi? Feel free.. I need the feedback
I'll vote in LLL if you go vote in my VBL battle.
KS you dropping today?
Yes after work I'll write something up. I'm out at like 5
@Lenox
Good no rush mam
Man*
I'll get at some tonight when i get off work homieQuote:
Originally Posted by Crusty Ballskin Licker
What y'all think of this so far?
Life is fiction and I'm stressed with knots in my chest,
Streets stricken with poverty, I have no options left,
I'd rather be in prison than get shot to death,
Cops with vests, it's obvious that societies a mess,
No amount of counseling session can stop my depression,
Lots of tension on my mind so only god we can question,
its a bit bland, nothing special as far as the rhyme scheme which can get boring to readers quick.. I wouldn't force multies in there either but I would add more details to reel people in and explain what it is you're talking about. you say, "Life is fiction".. this is a good way to start and it sounds nice but you don't explain why, there is no back story as to what you mean. My opinion on a topical will vary from someone elses because I respect pieces that pay attention to fine details more then who uses the biggest words or the most multies.
Hanks for the feedback. Ya I'll try to put more detail Into what I'm actually trying to say.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wordz AhGod.
Jesus Christ.. Thanks*.
That was God that helped u, not jesus christQuote:
Originally Posted by Lenox