thanks im with yah lol.. nice one dis
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thanks im with yah lol.. nice one dis
you are up to 19 pages you beast - keep expressing yourself xoxo
I can't see what's posted but don't mind me I'm on edge.... I'm fine and I'm sorry @Candy Looks just like my old cat Jomika.
It was to TGF (if he was my babies dad) and he dissed me and I know you said no upping threads but it was when I first woke up.
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Before war really popped off...
lol thanks..
I’m definitely not going to assume but what I don’t understand is if God was right here why am I getting hit? I just felt like the sun a second a few minutes ago... I’m going to bed.
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I don’t fight over men... any fight I was in is cause they personally disrespected me! This shit? Can you even disrespect someone’s body and soul more? I just want to know who it is cause I can tell you who it feels like. And nah I can’t understand someone or a god hating me this much...
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And like photoshopped... bitches go to jails too. To even threaten like that to someone you just heard of and never even met is dumb as fuck to me. You are in a position of authority and what I’m supposed to sit here and suck it up and just take it?
goodnight cutie..
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and the kissing your hand thing i wouldnt worry too much a famous girl called caitlin just popularized it a few days ago..
so erry ones doing it even me.. hehe
keep it real girl xoxo
https://i.ibb.co/gvdPCzq/kiss.jpg
You're beautiful and that's for sure
You'll never ever fade
You're lovely, but it's not for sure
And I won't ever change
And though my love is rare
And though my love is true
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is (soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is (soul is)
I don't know where my home is
All I need for you to know
Is your faith in me brings me to tears (ah)
Even after all these years, years
And it pains me so much to tell
That you don't know me that well
And though my love is rare
And though my love is true
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is (soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is (soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
It's not that I want to say goodbye
It's just that every time you try to
Tell me, me that you love me (oh, ohh)
Each and every single day
I know I'm gonna have to eventually give you away, yeah
And though my love is rare, rare, rare
And though my love is true, yeah
Hey, I'm just scared
That we may fall through, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm like a bird (I'm like a bird)
I don't know where my soul is (soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is (soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is (soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away (I don't know where my soul is)
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away (I don't know where my soul is)
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
your soul is with me :)
I like "Say it Right" more but yeah I've moved A LOT too. Symptoms of being stalked for so long I realized. I guess that's why my instincts glitched out too...
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IDC who popularized what... I'm not living like that. MY BODY MY RULES. EVERYONE should have a rite to set their own personal boundaries... it makes me uncomfortable and I don't like that culture.
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Anybody figure out how to light them bitches up yet?
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Also, there is multiple people buzzing my ear. I want everyone but my baby dad off me. He would be the only one with rite and who I assumed it was in the begining... I don't know how that happens but nobody should be trying to train a bitch being abusive to begin with. It's against my religion - only my god and creator should be able to do that - IE my babies dad too. I'm still not sure what the fuck is really going on but trying to be patient. I really need my family right now. Why I didn't get a half mast to see you when MY father died?
to true, and respect for keeping the family thing together as well as you can..
and people you miss during death especially you cant hold it against yourself because there is no certainty in death..
how can you be at fault for something that is so unpredictable
You're starting to sound like Hannibal Lecture there and that death speech... I believe in life after death. I don't believe death is the end all, just a new level.
lol a new level i can dig it..
alright hit me with what you think your strangest belief is then?
Lyrics
Making my way downtown
Walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way through the crowd
And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
It's always times like these when I think of you
And wonder if you ever think of me
'Cause everything's so wrong, and I don't belong
Living in your precious memory
'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
Oh, 'cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
And I, I don't wanna let you know
I, I drown in your memory
I, I don't wanna let this go
I, I don't
Making my way downtown
Walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound
Staring blankly ahead, just making my way
Making a way through the crowd
And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass us by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you, oh-oh
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you tonight
This site starts to breath and then dies again. I lit my candle for all souls but don't feel much like writing tonight. Maybe I will try tracing again even though everytime I wanna talk they won't say shit but let me try to write a note and my pen everywhere when I don't want it to be. Still gagging feeling sick as fuck... but TRYING to be positive. Seems some of these alt religions forget that you can't demand to change someones but hey demand of free will serious so like I feel them, why stop now. You're already ALL IN. What bothers me most is they SWEAR they so important. i have real issues to deal with and while what they did is serious and would normally consume most people, I'm just like... some needy desperate bitches that I'm tired of even giving attention to. Everyday I pray it's resolved soon cause I am worried about my culture and bloodline cause the only way this could've happened is the rape. That's just what I assume. And why they did it. And then to blame KKK too LMAO I wouldn't shoot at the devil and miss if I was you. Anyways... Happy Halloween - for a blessing to All Souls. Please a night of fun and relief and comfort and healing. That's what I pray for. And for all of you... except the stalker.
hey respect on lighting the candles.. your the first person i read who did that for the people..
yeh your right about all those open religions theyre to pushy sometimes and then blaming understudies and small groups like the kkk is just weak.. they might do some bad shit but not rape.. and there is a way of handling rape and not and if you check their biblical pages they almost proud that they blame somebody or some people that have less..
p.s.
fuck your stalker
Sorry... I’ll keep my threads here.
Like I remember when I was dropped after I stole the Lex and that, that witch woke me up outside of the courthouse when we weren’t even friends or hanging out. I thought I was hallucinating but it’s why I got so mad in the cop car. So to be here stuck in a similar situation like how you even trust them over me when I’m straight up telling you! You gave them way too much power and seriously they just laughing for real. Maybe in a prior day before the bitch turned straight up evil but definitely not now. Let go! Give me back to MY family!
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Nobody should’ve been waking me up besides my babies dad to even begin with!!!
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I can’t help you bitch... and I never will again!!!!! And nah I wouldn’t save you if you were drowning either. So we are even!!! BYE
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You have too much knowledge you have too much insight and I’m just sitting here wondering who trusted you THAT much with MY life... cause I wouldn’t have and knew better!!!!
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Now this bitch and her friends running rounds like we are their fucking game trying to rearrange a bunch of maps and I’m just like are we even serious right now. You think I’m just some fucking rag doll and not a person? You’re so consumed and caught up I don’t think you even realize that this shit involves humans lives!!!
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All you bitches are selfish and petty and I’m humiliated I was even friends with bitches like you to begin with...
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You better pray I don’t have the keys to your handcuffs!!!!
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I was working again. Even though it was customer service I was loving my job... started to exercise again and then like WHAM!!!! Wtf is it with everytime I try to establish some type of life or happiness that you bitches have to come along and fuck me all up again?
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I’m done... My life is over. I was up on Instagram swearing it was Thursday yesterday!!! I can’t even tell you the name of the puppy I named and it took like 3 hours to remember that the guy in powers name was Tommy. You have completely achieved in fucking me up and any chance for happiness or supporting myself probably ever again. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT?
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What do you want?!?!? It’s like that book the giving tree... I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE
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Nah norwalk was my all in and every resource used to try to re-establish a life again... you have kicked and beat me down beyond comprehension and I bet you don’t even have a reason except just cause you can!
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My father knew my phone would be back in a couple of days... let me find out that’s the reason he just glitched the fuck out and died like that too and I swear bitch...
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It’s not a fight... it’s they kick my ass anytime they want to or feel like it and there is NOTHING I can do about it!
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The next morning ray and Linda were in the lobby with the police lying saying I wrote a suicide note and I had to go to mental!
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Like it’s just some joke to everybody too!
the keys to your handcuffs was tight..
whats your instagram?
and how many days did you spend in the mental hospital i was in there for a month..
I’ve been in mental like 13 times maybe more since I was 13 I think... ranging from a month to usually like 4-7 days... a lot of them were 24 hour holds too... as a teen I went to partial hospital after school for a few months too. I’ve been in therapy my entire life pretty much. It’s funny cause I’m so balanced until I go crazy. I remember when I first got diagnosed as an adult crying so hard because it meant it’s not over and my life is going down... everything I busted my mother fucking ass for gone but I knew it then. That’s why I was crying so hard... I know my mind will be gone long before my body and me and my family are working on a plan now that my dads gone to make sure I don’t end up homeless too...
And guys - thank you so much for giving me my own thread for my outbursts instead of banning me. Writing really is almost all I have left to get me thru it!
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My ig is CLA919
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And keys to your handcuffs actually comes from the LOX (it’s a song)
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I don’t want to jinx it but I haven’t had to go to the hospital in 3 years ��
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I have a REALLY good dr now!
yeh for sure..
a good doctor counts for everything me to..
cause some of those therapist really are bad for the soul..
respect for staying out of hospital for so long..
thanks guys for letting her voice breathe you can talk to me if you want someone to talk to.. il be around
@Candy what does that mean and who are you?
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It’s scary and humiliating at the same time in mad different directions... that 3 like the nextel... just cause I was scared out my mind and did all 3 doesn’t mean I’m a sit here and keep getting hit like this. Like people can HIT... the obvious to the impossible is what made me so sick or making me! Anything is possible! The difference when I can tell... the calm... I laughed walking down the hall of the hospital with the fire alarms all going off. Like when you can go thru that and laugh and be calm and not even worry about being safe or not is when it’s your god.
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Or when I can shake my head yes and not hiss... and not heard what’s said.
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That’s god too... but you forcing mother fuckers. Think it’s sweet to pray opposite? Try to force a bitch to bow? We not even cut from the same clothe!!!
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I’d say rule number 1: every one to their own creed only unless it’s the kids, naive, or innocent then everyone should make sure they safe.
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Why didn’t anybody just tell me though?!?
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To be a private person at that too it’s like... the all eyes on 50 cent and pac recording? But we all have to live in the real world... who were you terrorizing in the name of what? And who knew? Like the entire site?
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I’m going to try to sleep... MY god wouldn’t do or push this though.
just in general
someone to respond to your posts so they arent just you venting you know..
i been on several boards for about 20 years friends with zunto from nc and soul from rb
I lived back and forth between CT and NC too. Don’t feel obligated to respond - where it is nice to conversation with people at the same time it just helps to spit it out until someone figure out what’s going on with all the extra. But thank you!
no obligation..
:)
I don’t know how to explain this... it can only be god but my god wouldn’t lie to me or force me a direction I don’t want to go. And like coming back home I guess it’s a life I have to readjust to. I just think with all the bad shit I didn’t deserve I don’t understand why any god would put me thru that or this or have anything like that to even punish me for. As the victim I’m just really confused.
Trying to get peace and comfort in my own body and not feeling like myself or sharing is really uncomfortable too.
in the bible god has lying spirits that lie to you about the word of god.. so could be thatQuote:
Originally Posted by A Disciple
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lol well take a hot bath or a shower that ish always calms me down..Quote:
Originally Posted by A Disciple
It's even hard to get dressed these days... I'm so outside myself and nature it's unreal. ;o(
By Your Side Verse
Sade - By Your Side - Official - 2000 - YouTube
Who knows me so well before I fell
Or was it a sell?
I feel like they just told a lie and set me up
But damn I got adjusted and yeah the one that demand a prenup
I’m starting to think marriage is anything but conventional
A promise between us cause I didn’t even mention it all
And like… yeah I said love isn’t for everybody days before I was shot
Cause I was happy and breathing again in a rental playing 2 on and it was hot
Now I don’t know whether or not or even the order
Cause my polars are so extreme I know I’m more immature than my daughter
I’m a leave that line indented cause I’m the other side of that “sting”
But my ring? The one that had the stone missing and looked like the sun
That was the set that was my favorite one but I lost it and now I have none
Run… run and you done, or runaway cause hell not fun or you just remembered your son
(So you run back)
Now I don’t know about loyalty all in the sync but waking up on the brink of a miracle
But I can hold up that mirror too cause it’s anything but spiritual
By Your Side – getting kicked while I’m already down
I think of the expression – “tears of a clown”
Nah it wasn’t me… I didn’t get around.
“No Love Lost… None Found”
Reference: Sade "By Your Side"
Little Wayne and Eminem "No Love" ***
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Like the spiritual hits are hard enough... I really don't need the extra too.
i went through that fazeQuote:
Originally Posted by A Disciple
just hang around the house.. even if all you do is scream and sleep atleast your doing what you feel like all day
Nah... it's not like that at all. My closest to a besty I have now says my emotions are physical - so yesterday I threw up like between 10-20 times but nothing came up. I call it gagging. In bed, trying to watch tv to get my mind off the shit while getting it "pulled" out or to a level where I didn't feel sick, tense, stress, and pain in my own body type shit. It was an exceptionally hard day... but today was much better so far.
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I get so tense that it hurts to even touch my skin some times... and other times I feel so gross if someone touches me I cringe. Mental illness and PTSD a bitch for real... I'm just trying to maintain and not turn into an addict or take on those tendencies now for real. It's why I stopped drinking too. THAT and my father drank himself to death LITERALLY.
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I owe this weeks mental and physcial hell to the creeper that thought it would be cute to remote control my computer again. Probably mad that I didn't feed into it and read the files he or she uploaded to my google drive.
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I'm not engaging, feeding into it, or harboring ANYTHING until I understand what the fuck is even going on. Stalikng has ALWAYS been a sickness that creeps me out. I mean one time me and my friend J hopped in the woods with her nephews spy equipment because our boyfriends lived on the same street. We didn't see shit and when we came out the woods my ex was leaning up against my car and I screamed. It was funny and a joke. I mean thats WAY different than a level like this and I still don't know who hurt me so like nah creeper... for real. Back up off me and come to my eye when I'm awake if you want some attention. And to be honest I don't even know if I can still throw this sick.
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Am I supposed to post my open mics here too or did I just misplace that verse?
Sex therapy tonight... made some break thrus but it’s impossible to have sex feeling like 10 different bitches... especially wack ones and like they’re literally dictating and demanding everything even my dreams are off again Like idgaf I been thru enough... it feel like some sick perve trying to keep my shit on tap or just refuse to understand we not a match. I’m getting my ass kicked every day and tired as fuck for real. And they jumping too... and sorry but I’m just going to say it!!! Until someone helps and makes it stop I just have to keep talking cause it’s been 8 years now.
Then you shaking my thigh dawg?
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I’ve told that one no at least 3x and he’s causing my nightmare being so fucking selfish still too!
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I keep hearing him thru him though... you can’t change me and my nature just cause you swear you got a bitch. I didn’t take you into my world to even begin with!!!
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Tired of them bitches kicking my ass demanding their way and my nightmare for real
Hurting me with pain isn’t going to change my mind either maggot... just leave me and my body the fuck alone!!!
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Degrading me in my own body... yeah that’s a man I’m gonna respect!!
My brother up early as fuck today... it makes me feel a little better but he’s still not getting a clear line either
Degrading me in my own body... yeah that’s a man I’m gonna respect!! My brother up mad early this Sunday... it’s Sunday right? And yeah he would kick my ass for getting fucked up but I didn’t drink... he probably swore to never get involved again after all that and obviously didn’t realize and was probably being lied to too...
Degrading me in my own body... yeah that’s a man I’m gonna respect!! My brother up mad early this Sunday... it’s Sunday right? And yeah he would kick my ass for getting fucked up but I didn’t drink... he probably swore to never get involved again after all that and obviously didn’t realize and was probably being lied to too...
But I’m not a beast so why would ANYBODY even try to alpha me?
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To even begin with...
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From the second I fucking wake up these bitches on me... my brother definitely wouldn’t have had her wake me up so like what’s the problem? Why these bitches even still here?
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It feels like she literally attached herself and her family to me and I don’t know how to get them off or away from me. And yeah I’m the crazy one that can’t maintain cause of...
Like... I’m going to fucking bed. I don’t understand how God is RIGHT HERE but I’m still getting hit...