They should complie an album with all these clips… Love Songs from the Grave
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They should complie an album with all these clips… Love Songs from the Grave
Am I really tupacs baby mom? 👀
For once I’m speechless right now
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Wait for the intern that gets this thread �� LMFAO
Theatrical note: Hollins doesn’t like vampires causes he feels I should’ve been happier with my own family
What about the word NO does this freak stalking my phone not understand!!!
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I just want to know how to make them all leave me alone
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I want restitution too
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Seriously though… when if my nightmare for their joke and fun and entertainment over?
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Yeah it always is the bye and fuck you bitch that make me snap sense in too
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Not that hurt I called it and really just want to feel better asap
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It set me back 2.5 weeks but at least I don’t have school and have couple of days to recover
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NO THANK YOU… EVERYBODY NO THANK YOU I RATHER BE A NUN
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don’t feel bed now I’m good… TRUST
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It’s finally over… I should be relieved
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I don’t know who he traded me for and idc… not that loyal to his walk anymore
I had a fucked up teen hood… got in a lot of trouble being to grown for my time. My brother and sister were both addicts so I grew to hate them… I started off selling weed but was more comfortable transporting coke and that’s what I did. I had drive and was very successful and loved my career. But trusting psych and ignoring all my problems and real issues caught up to me in my 30s and I just went down … I stopped running when I got into IBM in 99 had a relapse in 03 and just was happy I was good at something good too - not just good at being bad - so I get it
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The only reason why I never got caught or went to jail is because I am white so I used that profile to help my friends get out the hood too
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My father was rich and my mother was poor
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So I’m different
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It sucks to be good at something bad but when I relapsed and went back to the “game” it breathed life into me again
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Maybe cause all that praying brings us closer to God
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I was processed 14 hrs in prison for stealing a Lexus running for my life and was sentenced to a mandatory 6 months until the judge got evidence I only stole the car becuase I was gang raped and dropped charges contingent on if I ever get arrested again I serve both sentences
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It keeps me out of shit
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But boy being sick and broke really makes it hard lmao
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My sister and brother are die hard AA and NA people now and I inherited the addiction too… it just only shows up when I’m sad though but they have zero tolerance and don’t even wanna hear my problems unless I’m stone cold sober but I refuse to do that
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My mind is going.. one day my body will still be here when my is not and dealing with that is too much for me
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Me and my family are trying to make plans for the future when that happens but honestly I rather be dead
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I have no children other then the baby I had when I was 14.., I have no clue what happened to her and psych and family swear she doesn’t and never exists
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I remember for facts she does
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Psychiatry ruined and dictated my entire life and I hate them… BUT I have to take my meds and live it cause I have no choice - meds are critical but they are out of control and need to be regulated - they are doing illegal things and abusing patients but no one believes me
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I think it’s the same people or person that hurt me in Myrtle Beach 2010 when I stole the car - they saw they got away with it too and got worse
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In my heart I feel my stalker and abuser is a psych with means to travel
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I had him on DNA 3-4x and the hospital refused to even check and when st Mary’s did check, they never called the police and I don’t know what they did with the kit
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My therapist called the ER and told them to put me in paych and they did… SHE CALLED AND THEY DID
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She could’ve been anybody and was helping the rapist not me
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I already saw the movie we gonna make of it in a dream… 50 was in a business suit sitting in a chair with a scotch and those gold balls you juggle in one hand saying “that’s my wife” he gonna be in it I hope too
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And help us write it… hurry up let’s be the first to address mental health now a HIGE issue to our schools and society
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We are not all bad
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Honeslty… I think the drs masking symptoms and not addressing the real issues is what’s making us worse
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They just add more pills when we get more symptoms
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I currently take 4
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Every fucking night… I take them at night cause I don’t like walking around in a cloud and people seeing me like that
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I’m not trying to be famous… I’m trying to get paid and help some gold out the hood too - our youth too which are now all in their 20-30s too lmao
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Old head but I think the kids would laugh at how we did it… UHauls and all
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My father was a millionaire and died with $3.000 in the bank when he drunk himself to death… I think I know who was black mailing him tol
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The assets were frozen until the divorce cause he was moving so much money around… my mom was a house wife… she got good alimony and child support but started off modeling costumes and worked her way up and college to retiring as a project manager - I want to sss her rich again though I really wanna do that for her
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My dads house had 4 bedrooms and 2 people and we were 4 people in a 2 bedroom… at one point my bed was next to the dining room table… I didn’t resent my dad for it but I hated my step mom for it… she returned my victorious secrets present and told me I get my underwear at Walmart type bitch
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So how do I get back my dads money if I know who was black mailing him… that’s what I need a plan for
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Homely they can keep the fucking money just please put a memorial bench for him at his golf club
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Honestly*
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It’s why I can’t be bought and pac love me for that
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I almost ice picked my ex when I threw him out and he threw me $2000 and said good luck
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https://youtu.be/PBwAxmrE194?si=Sp3V7YIn5duHiVQ8
The first time I saw pink skies we were banging this in Queens… my boy dead now too but his brother still alive to help get this
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My family from floral park
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I’m from Baldwin
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Made the mistake of telling the psychs too much thinking they were really trying to help me… I told my dr it was one thing when I saw the weird shit faded but it fucked me up when I saw it sober
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The piece is locked up I can’t find it and only remember how it started… I grew up on the prime side, the ny dime side, for the pretty things in life you climb side
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Nah my step mom would hardly let my dad give us shit… he bought me a few cars and my jewelry and my labels clothes
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I’ll never understand until we trade places” you were right pac 😘😇 miss you angel
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Ain’t seen you in a minute
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https://youtu.be/Yltq23WMK04?si=_cr7xHVos-34oEUB
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I do see life and memories like videos and movies… the first time I heard “bitch I’m the man” I remembered kicking oh boy in the face on the switch and it’s how I got away
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My sister kept asking me if I was raped and I kept telling her no it was impossible… I was drugged not sure if it was that or emotionally I blocked it out cause I couldn’t handle it
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I was bleeding black and nobody even took me to a Dr type fucked up they should’ve told me and made sure I understood before I humiliated myself and screamed it everywhere
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When I wrote to Im the Man it bugged me out cause deeep down inside I already knew
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You’re the man*
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Post You're the Man.... (NAS)
You’re Da Man!!!
I was chilling in the crib one day
When 5 birds came and chased me away
I guess in a way, you can say
A lil birdy told me
That he was about to scold me
What I do? I was just keeping it real
Is it cause I realized in utter famine and thirst one will steal?
My neighbor couldn’t even give me a free glass of water
And of all that brought to me this new world order
A world that opened up and turned on me
Fuck what they in to, I wasn’t even trying to see
Ran out the door and was knocked down the stairs
Trying to keep cool on the block ignoring their stares
Then hell opened up and it turned into an inferno
Felt the heat penetrate my skin
To the point of desinigration
Turned the corner saw kids playing in the yard
So I gave up and said fuck it for them I am scarred
No sense of watching an innocent suffer, not given a chance
So look this white girl in the face and tell me it’s my last dance
Felt the smack, from my own father, an attack
And now, I am not even trying to make up for where I lack
Instead I turned around and said ok
If this is the way you wanna play
Instinct took over, I hardly had to think
I stared hard at the bitch recording me as I sipped my drink
Number one… thall shall not murder? … Ok
You really wanna play?
Off to the mall and around the block
I chose my weapon – hardly a glock
Drove to the scene
Yet somehow my heart still found a way to intervene
Eye to eye I fear no man
But what was said was so real, I began to understand
Looking back, all my memories flashed before me
Like that time dude slipped me a micky
It didn’t click until coming out of surgery that day
That when I woke I didn’t realized I was touched as I lay
Once a victim, the pattern is constant, I can name 3
3 motherfucking times I begged a motherfucker not to penetrate me
Trying hard to convince my body not to lock, it just makes it hurt more
So off to that other world my mind started to soar
I continued to look back on my life, my footprints in the sand
When I see my own I was carried? Now that shit I can’t fucking stand
Friends that I’d give my life for turned their backs and closed their doors
Laughing at the demons who picked me back up yet forgetting all yours
Shit got ill penning in my notebook
Codes that were written left me visibly shook
Abandoned by almost every one
I lived for nothing and then I was done
I was propositioned, I saw it my only way out
At this point I was a suicidal bitch without a doubt
Eventually, I learned how to deal with the real
My heart beats heavy some nights, just to remind me I still feel
I don’t know why I forgave my father yet again
But just when I was out, I heard the slaves cry --- so I jumped back in
Leave those who saved me?
Never, then what example or lesson would I be?
Now you wanna trick me?
Give orders out just to be a dick B?
My own brethren turn around and beat me?
All because this bitch wanna defeat me?
I tried to tell myself the humilitation of it all made me a better person
But feeling so fake and so weak, and still to get fucked over, that’s when it hurts then
But don’t they know… the reaper my best friend
I cloak up and ride just to make the offer with him
I ain’t afraid to lose my head to the sword
He even send me reminders, felt the roll, and what redemption my reward?
So I studied, stayed real, and conversated with ghosts and the best of them
Traced like over 1000 confessions, them begging me to justify them
I see it --- I see almost every angle
You no longer have me nor have that carrot to dangle
Pac said a flower grows in the concrete and showed me a pic
I even heard one grow in a dark room in a lyric by Kendrick
We never run in the city we come from
But I refuse to let these weak ass motherfuckers make me look dumb
Do you know my drills?
You think I let go just for the thrills?
I let go to remind them, any day, any time
And that isn’t just over my God given talent to rhyme
You can’t judge me for looking back to the times when I was most happy
Why would I betray the brotherhood that spawned me?
I want my position back
I think I’ve earned where I lack
Don’t get me wrong… I don’t have an ounce of hate in my heart
But don’t you dare question when, where, how, or why I called this war to start
And to my one, my burner in the bushes… I don’t know who what or where you are
But you’re MY God, and when I hit this shit out of the park for you I pray it go far.
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E harmony… fuck that right now I feel like I never want to date again
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My hell mate? I was shocked to realize I was waiting for him and that’s why I couldn’t feel
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And who id whisper too
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The song I don’t want to know is from pac for me and free by free the part when they say give me the keys it’s why my man not free
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Idky he refuse to tell me
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But right now when he’s mean to me or treats me like some submissive child I just get so mad and think what’s the point… love me for me I’m tired of everyone saying or thinking I have to be 100% sober when I just bump
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Freeway*
https://youtu.be/5B9LEPxu6f8?si=V34EsCsEG3B84lY_
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Pacs my angel…
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I guess we switching again?
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Was biggie one of the only ones that knew?
https://youtu.be/N9ziByzxLnU?si=LO90iA0I9z2T-Oyg
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We are all above the law… it just depends who is paying to be honest - that’s what this song reminds me of
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He said if I went thru all that how or why I act like that… idk ask the fucking professionals
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They did it on purpose pac
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Happy next birthday…
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Thank you for showing me life after death now I’m not scared anymore
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They still drill or fuck with me or my body and my phone daily and even started with the sick shit again… they swear they teflon big
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I remember a lot now pac and im so sorry you had to witness what I didn’t know
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It’s hard for me to retain for facts Jicera my baby… but as much as they have covered up proves that too
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Did I disassociate myself when you guys left or did the psychs do it
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I know that’s my style… delete and move the fuck on but not when you it comes to you or my daughter - my family
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But maybe that’s where I learned it from
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My therapist said I must’ve disassociated myself and peed on my own bed… but was woman how up and down like that type stuff… tired of them do you guys have that piece where I wrote it’s hard to touch, pink, and I tried to tell my Drs but they say it’s impossible too?
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Hurts to touch*
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Had him 4x… I’ll never be at peace until I know who and how and that they’re dead and can’t hurt me or anyone else anymore to be honest - at least not someone that doesn’t deserve it
Where’s my to ready or Not I can’t find it in my files either… you always deleting shit
Song cry? That’s why the undercover thought I was ginger? Nah just did a favor for my old friend cause I never seen him shake before
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I love him to death and it will stay with me forever
Damn I still think the best is sleeping while driving or getting driven home… hey Angel yeah we live life like a video Jay
https://youtu.be/__dMsogizXs?si=DKRT73FO1wA8Lv9c
They’re scaring me 😭😭😭😭😭
Was first seat 3 dumpin? Glad to see him back but don’t ever disrespect your own country again (innocent lives were lost)
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Then again what if Bush did do it? He was after Hussein and Obama got bin Ladin in 3 weeks and then OUR helicopter went down - what if he was innocent?
Why we have no record sales pac and snoop?
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Why we have no record sales pac and snoop? CLA919 was Jay z, a disciple Nas and 50, and no nun 2? I’ll write more
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They fucking with my head and my phone
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Again… it’s not funny at all
https://youtu.be/TacBz08kTzA?si=o8-13_Usnpm_xoJD
Ohhh shit!!!! Loving being old today
https://youtu.be/otkm64AUCrk?si=D89UQ0cEK8tr9_Vn
I know now that Allah looked over me because of you and your family
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I remember the I love you fight
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I didn’t sleep with anyone until my 16th birthday… but I already forgot about you by then
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I refuse to be a convalescent
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Just writing and posting and trying to get “free” trapped in a culture that keeps me weak and oppressed
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And that’s against every fiber of my core being
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I’d say I miss you cause I see and feel you everywhere still
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They laugh that I’m not afraid to die and it’s cause I know you’re there
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And if you not let me know so I can be a little more cautious lol
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Why was my head shaved like that pac?
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It’s how I’d wear my bandanna to cover it
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I got split seconds back of us after I was shot
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They won’t even tell me I was shot type shit
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I said dying was easy… it was coming back to life that hurt so much - the defrib and realization of how everyone betrayed me
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Trying to stay strong for Jicera cause I know she feet first too… but that girl - nah jicera is half white
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There a girl at my school that’s half Italian and half black and she so pretty… I think of Cera almost everytime I see her
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Get the witches off of and out of me - they kicked my ass and rep enough
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How did they get that power over me to begin with?
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Back in therapy… day hospital another 8 week program smh
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I have to clean and get dressed ttyl
I remember telling that witch MC that I lost my virginity on vacation but thought I was lying
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She refuses to leave me alone and I dont know how to make her
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She acts like my life and God is all about her and she won’t let me get back to your or my daughter or let me stay myself
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You can tell me what it is straight up… I prefer to just rip off the band aid… I’m very good at balancing things out when people are straight up with me
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But I’m the worst assumer ever and already been thru enough
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I live and die for my family
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I actually see my father in her
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It’s the only pic I have pac… pls don’t let you be a prick
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I have a hard enough time with the medical I head voices on top of having to hear theirs too
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I don’t understand why they’re here still other then they tried to kill me with pills, sold me to strangers, used me, had me gang raped - then shot
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They fucking with my looks and my pictures and seem to have spiritually infected my entire family
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I never did them wrong a day in my life too
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I bet you because she rather kill me then to tell the truth about shit and things that she did
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She can’t face the reality of herself or admit fault
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I don’t know why the Feds are helping her and idc
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I just want everybody to stop FUCKING WITH MY HEAD AND TELL ME WHATS GOING ON
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They the ones repeating because they’re not getting the answer they want
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The only thing I stay the same on is pac and my family… let’s count how many times I’ve tried to re invent myself after hitting ground zero how many times now? Like 6?
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Moved from nc pharma to ct pharma - got sick failed
Got back up EA position in finance - got beat hurt my back failed
Real estate and side business - got sick failed
Porta potty customer service - got sick failed went back got sick and failed again
School - almost failed and hanging by a string
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Since the assault in Myrtle beach
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Just wanna live life and have fun God… I can’t do that without my own money
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It’s a miracle I even got back up again… after a while you lose your will and I’m so grateful for my hell mate who did pick me up again
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The physical magical torture stopped
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He stopped that
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I was taking like 8 ibuprofen a night… let me guess she was trying to make me take pain pills?
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Is that why?
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She love it up the ass… I don’t do it - is that why I was sodomized so much
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What happened to the inappropriate touching part?
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Pins in my eyes for years
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Face migraines every night - I’d sleep with ice packs on my face
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Just waiting for them bitches to finally just die to be honest and know better than to take that into my own hands… maybe her co defendant like puffy snitch on her… I haven’t heard or watched enough to even say… but she did sell me to my exes friend after I got my SUV
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Split seconds and putting 2 and 2 together after I got shot
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I’m the worst assumer but that’s all EVERYBODY leaves me with and I just want to know why
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Bitch when are you gonna get it? You can sell your soul but you can’t sell mine
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Get off me
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I haven’t watched and like that would be sooooooo fucked up
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When I was with my ex he took good care of me and even was the one to leave after doing me dirty… but at least he didn’t keep coming
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But yeah it was a nightmare being pushed around on my bed with them in leather
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I literally lost my God and couldn’t find him for weeks so I went to the witch website to ask for her and they made it worse
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Ask for help*
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She was covering up that she sold my free will to Amy
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And that was 04 soooooo like I said, she can sell her soul not to be caught but she can’t sell mine and I resent the fact that it’s been a decade and I still hear or feel like her
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Can you please put my body back to how you found it too?
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I’m starting to get a belly and them ugly handles
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Nah he on her side… I trust like only 5 people right now
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Someone in the woods outside smfh
She won’t leave me alone or get out of me and I rather die then to let her… BYE BITVH
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She swears this all about her… the human trafficking maybe
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Can someone please make them leave me alone so me and J can have fun?
I feel stupid responding other then it really hurts my heart puff like that too though
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That’s all I really want to say…
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I think Pac took Puff DOWNNNNNN
I’m in program now trying to kick this yay habit…
Let’s just get this straight… I am mentally ill… you are fucking with my head, my phone, my credit cards… I’m being stalked by cars I don’t even know and you are playing against my mental illness like I am some joke or game. You’re power doesn’t Impress me - you’re money make me sick - and when you finally show your wack ass face - I’m going to ask the police if I can mill you in front of them
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Kill*
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I’ll go to jail for it EASY!
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I am losing my mind medically and you are purposely making that faster then it has to be
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I don’t know why they let you torture me legally but im going to find out
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I promise you the day will come that you never breathe again too
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Let me guess… you don’t believe in heaven or hell or life after death either right?
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YOURE MY BITCH
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You’re MY fucking bitch and I’m a let you be everyone’s bitch too
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I’m polite… you stepped to the wrong bitch though
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There’s a reason why they hate me… only a weak man can’t stand to see a strong bitch
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Fairy
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As a rape victim would I let them… yeah… I would
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����
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Fuck what you heard… I’m only a nice person to people who are nice to me
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And when I ever wasn’t it was because I didn’t have a clue who they were or what they were doing
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I know now…
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Pac it would finally break my heart for good if it’s you or you have anything to do with this too
https://youtu.be/RWqyfTjnHhA?si=pOXfuO1mVS9p7TUq
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Nah I’m not lining up your defense… you knew they did that to me on Whitlock?
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Nope lol
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Sec parties are irrelevant especially if they all willingly participated and were legal adults… thats for the suv and thanks
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My ex put the down payment on it… I made they payments and my other ex made the payments when I lost my job and had to reestablish in nc then he gave the truck back to me
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I lost my conviction and will and don’t know how to get it back
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Seriously guys check my ig… does that man look familiar - he pretended to be a cop and shot me up in the ambulance
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Whoscaredcla919
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The time I was beat bloody
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That I have all the paperwork on too
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Just in case you didn’t think pac as an angel isn’t still alive
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We would’ve had 3 more kids but we lost Hollins
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We all the links in the chain of mankind - and you freaks are really scaring me
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Since I was concealed in my room after my shirt and jeans were soaked in red - it just might be related idk
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Cause all eyes were at the funeral
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If they’re bothering you just reach them how to do something or something you good at and they’ll go away until the next year - it means your ass is tagged and you better behave
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Teach them*
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If you talk to them you even get friends
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I would’ve told him not run in the casino when they came in on him - they were just checking who was guilty and if you run your done they come in worse
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I buck back and we all laugh
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Hell isn’t always so bad
Where did my silent lucidy go? Why you all do that?!?) take posts down and stuff
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Lucidity*
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Was that the suicide note Ray and Linda was talking about?
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Was that your threat bitch? Whose threat?
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I know that’s his fam… like what 10 years later?
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I caught your cousin doing dope homie
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Embarrassed, humiliated, the psychotic breaks were real… and why nobody just told me?
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Defiled is more like it
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I’m letting getting shot go but won’t again… Im more concerned about some low life scum bitches getting my free will and want to and need to know they will never sleep walk or hypnotize me again
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They stole it but idk how or why
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Didn’t think things like that were even possible
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Nah you wake up driving with shit coming out your vv and ass and tell me how YOU feel?
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Sentenced not served for you… you go thru what ever you got coming to you cause I didn’t deserve it
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What go around come around right?
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I called yp the bitch that was pretending to be my best friend to ask her why I thought ti only got 5 years and she laughed said she was with her family and hung up type bitch
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I didn’t even know we were fighting - last I knew I called her to wire me $20
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Obviously she didn’t need me no more
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I learn slow especially when they all pretend to be your best friends
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If you don’t act like that you don’t think like that
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He showed me the pic like here bitch I got this one too
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Then to be reduced to some 100 clicks to take a picture when you’re being tortured like the shit so petty compared
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Dumb shit like red paint outside my door or feathers around my bed or my college degree missing when I’m being legally raped and tortured and the police and drs won’t even check?
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Got to jail hoe or criminal mental where socios and serial rapists belong
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Then you bitches try to blame 50?!??! You done did really lost your minds huh?
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They put flex name on the blue tooth they were using too
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My apt was wired by their audio but my dad looked and couldn’t find it either - it’s just hypno guys don’t worry they can’t do it to you too
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And some above the law twisted bitches
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And then they say cause I opened my own doors for them it’s ok or wanted… nah we will show you how
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I hope they get the needle to be honest but doubt that they will
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Torture is twisted and sick especially laughing about it too
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Cause I called the da and it was gang force tactic
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Backing the FUCK on out at least trying to and made a hiding spot for the kids - my team kill snitches
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Why I’m letting the shooting go
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Glitched the fuck out… I am legit mentally ill and been in treatment since I was in 5th grade
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My parents fought a lot
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Nah I do prefer to just sit here talking to myself in my own world now
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They want to change that too
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I realize something was going on that everyone knew but me now
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And that they still won’t stop fucking with my head or phone
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I know my father drank himself to death before telling me too
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I know I didn’t leave my drink and that the other friend that pretended to be my best friend freaked out over whose coffee was whose before she pretended to have a head ache while I went down to the bar to find out what’s there to do there
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My phone was fucking with me and randomly lets me cash app or not and then put my exes name on the screen
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That’s why I flipped out tonight too
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Pay me then leave me the fuck alone
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I didn’t remember a mother fucking thing at the time but do remember getting nervous and getting up and the guy next to me grabbing my arm while the other came in from the dining room and grabbed my other one right there in the hotel bar
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But I could’ve sworn there was 3 of them outside by the pool and only 2 in the stairwell again
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I have no clue where my $330 went and just shook it all off as another manic episode
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My sister put it together but my friend said that it was impossible that I was drugged and raped
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And robbed
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The bitch wouldn’t even take me home - my father and ex came to get me
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I could’ve sworn my exes car was at the halt way point but when my dad got there I finally passed out
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Just thought it was another psychosis
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Is that why they think I’m not mentally ill?
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It’s not my religion and I refuse to let them force me to feel like them or roll with them like that now too
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Ain’t nobody but me ever stood up for me when I fucked yp… stand by your fucking self too
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Nah weird shit only happened around them while they’d make a joke of my mental illness and had me committed for fun by either calling my parents or the police
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Don’t miss a mother fucking beat
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Just time
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Money
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Pride
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Someone in the woods is talking right now… are they trying to shoot me again?
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It’s probably just a speaker
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And they do this in front of EVERYBODU and NOBODY helps me
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Including the Raleigh courtroom
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Even if I wasn’t already mentally ill which I was I would be now and they did that on purpose too
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I have fucking brain atrophy now form all the breaks but nah that’s the drugs I was hardly even ever on to begin with
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I love sniffing coke… it helps me to think and be happy but now they forced me to quit that too
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You have all that money to fuck with me but keep me broke that I was 20 cents short and couldn’t get a nip like every fucking day… I have no fucking money and they won’t let me function and work
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Why can’t I have money too?
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My GMA must’ve died hating me she didn’t leave me a dime
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I know now she know the truth
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I can never live alone again - do you know what that feels like?
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I can’t even remember the conversation I’m having when still in the conversation - I have to stop and ask what we were talking about
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I miss coke A LOT
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I had to quit cause my bf told my mom
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I’m back in program for eitght fucking weeks
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It’s only good cause I’m helping my mom more around the house - prior I o was some lazy bitch who thanks god when I’m able to clean my own room
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I’m reminded daily how much my mother pays for me too
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I had a life… a good life… why do they refuse to stop coming for me?
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They won’t let me get a new life
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One day someone will hear me, pay me, and let me salvage the rest of my life
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It better be while my mind is still here now too
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I have so much rage that it scares me when it even peeps out
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Because I had chlamydia but never had unprotected sex - it’s never over
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Everytime I think I’m fucking safe again here they go
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It’s been good for some months now
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That’s why I hate fat boy
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Once again someone pretending to be my best friend
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I go to the Dr every 3-6 months just to make sure I’m healthy and safe and not hit from the prior
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You don’t know war until it comes to swap spit and I deserve to know who did that to me
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I have school tomorrow but know I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight either
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Do you understand what it feels like in here? In my own body?
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Cause they started the twisted shit again
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He showed me a pic with my pants down like here bitch I got that pic too… ain’t no way in hell would I ever pull off my pants in front of that man
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But shot in underwear ok but then they say it’s my own fault when I’m slow just trying to figure out wtf is going on and how to stop it
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Why do I have to go sober though?
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Can’t even have a fucking nip without my bf talking shit
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I don’t want to live like that
That’s the man that pretended to be police but didn’t have a cop car and came in the ambulance and shot me up with someone when I died at Rex…. Somebody beat me up in my own home
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Something* I started seeing neon
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I was texting my Nelson and took a pic while typing is my home safe again
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Dead man talking either way… its not the bath tub in my own home so fuck it I can’t be scared anymore
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My sister and my brother got the book smart… I got the street smart
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My boyfriend hates that I fight like a man when I’m mad (not physically but verbally but if he get physical I can fight too but he would never hit me)
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I stopped fighting back and don’t know why
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Been beating up boys since 6 west ��
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I did get in a fight when I was pregnant
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Part of the reason why I know I was pregnant is they just escorted me to my room for lock down… instead of dragging and drugging me and tying me down like they did when DM got in a fight the next day… probably related that was my boy
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I was in the corner at the window away from everybody crying and he came up to me and said I just wanted attention - I effed him UP LMAO
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Nah I don’t like people to see me cry
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My brother taugyt me how to fight I practiced on my sister lol
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She used to kick my ass until one day
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I used to watch a lot of kung fu movies too
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It’s why thy tied me but the bitch who did fight as good or even better than me so I don’t understand why
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She kept it on the low until she whoooed Ns ass in food bag and me and c fell out laughing
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She did used to show off in front of Corey a lot
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Maybe she had crush on him… that was like a little brother to me too
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And I LOVE his gf Sarah… she’s someone I want my daughter to be like
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Probably wife now
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As guilty as we looked we never even had a kiss and she trusted that and both of us which is why I respect her and want my daughter to have a love and esteem that strong too
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I miss Corey ��
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Now I know why I told him about Ced when he was in jail
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For my baby… I’ll take that hit any day
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I know now we had that riot too LMFAO
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I know in my heart the judge knew what we did and how we got thru it too… I love her for that
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You don’t always have to go to jail to learn a lesson and never do it again
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My dad was the king of that
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For me… my brother not so much lol
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I only say my sister get it once… she od’d and her friends left her in the driveway and my dad almost ran over her going to work… he dragged her thru the house up 2 flights of stairs by her hair and I think he took her bedroom door off too
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She was sober before she got pregnant with my nephew while in aa his sperm donor was too and she never relapsed
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I’m having a hard time quitting… I went 10 days and then the day before hit - I don’t understand it either - I never had this problem before
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I just do yay nothing hard
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It’s not a problem in my life only financially and with
Y bf and I’m mad - I never hid it from him and he knew who I was when he got with me but now it’s a problem for him and I resent it… the worst I ever did to get it was pawn something
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To be honest… my memory was HORRIBLE off it
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I had zero short term
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And gained 10lbs which I refuse… I’m a need to go cvs for some appetite suppressants or something
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It helps me to tell my story and organize my thoughts… I can sit still for long periods of time and less socially awkward
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But I only did a 40 at most 2 a day
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I got so mad when the dr said they have meds that helps with that… I’m just like what’s the difference then?
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My brain going regardless… I’m just like can I enjoy the rest of it while it’s still here? WHO care - why anyone even care though
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They wouldn’t have known unless my bf told them
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Yes NoW it’s a problem cause I can’t stop or keep my word about stopping
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Probably cause I don’t want to
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Ow stop
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I promise to try again…
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My mom just gave me a look lmao
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I do wonder if I Sabatoge myself on purpose by accident though
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I was fine besides eating ��
I don’t know how to function in normal society anymore… and I I’m not seeking the attention I’m seeking to support myself again. Stalker was outside my school and fuck it I’m just gonna shut up
I’m split, this side of my body this way the side that way - felt the tug of war repeated and when I was sober they got away with me losing an entire day so they can get a license pic in my sports bra I never even noticed
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Prolong this shit for what? I remember the tug of war when I first started doing coke and how serious it is to somebody - FOH I love it and never want to stop
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I don’t like you or how you think you can tie and hold my body
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It doesn’t have to be this serious until you make it
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Ghosts everywhere tonight
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Left school cause there was a parked car 100 fr when I checked my bfs location
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The stalker still stalking me… how would you feel?
It’s like I grasp you all there and could be watching but shy everyone say no when I ask still?
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I’m not and never will be 100% sober
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Why*
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I don’t like that side
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My hell mate played the fuck out of me tonight… I’ll never put pac on the back burner again - most times I just have to see and realize myself
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Slow learner and slower to competend
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Slow learner and slower to competend
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I wonder how the thing I just typed talking about I understated that I can grasp somsfhijg going on but no one tell me when I ask
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I don’t want to be part of that family, they’re abusive - make me look ugly - try to bitch me - and try to force me to be 100 sober - who the fuck wanna live like that?
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They keep deleting the part where I say u grasp people may be watching but why they don’t tell me what’s going on or Deny when I ask
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Why nobody will tell me what’s going on?
My mom was glitching when I was in the middle of a conversation with tgf telling him my wifi cut out
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I think it’s the last time I ever spoke to him
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We were in jc penny and she couldn’t decide what shirt she wanted
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It’s where I get my candy girl from
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She was a model like 2 or 3 times
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Credit one had to call me like 159 times before I remembered I had credit protection
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No fictitious number for point* are they even serious though
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NOBODY likes me anymore and I don’t know why
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No they cut off the wifi when I was telling him
Dreams and Nightmares
https://youtu.be/S8gfqs1-NuE?si=fR5XQJjiwJJI7HDE
I’m in so much pain and confused
How it go from perfect to just being used
I never felt long before or at least didn’t remember
But you never dealt the score until late December
Players club? Didn’t know I was a member
And they didn’t know that I stand to…
But they knew they hid me where the men were
Acting like it was me when they knew it was you
Coming out of Harlem with a perfect score
I ain’t seen paper in a minute but that’s not what I did it for
2/4… that’s why we here
Did it since 95 almost every year
But now I’m lost…
Cause one day all the sudden I began to fear
And the voices came of laughing and cheer
But we was supposed to be we’re… nah I never seen that though
Just betrayal
But Yo - you can step any fucking day hoe
Instincts of a spider done crept up inside her
Didn’t understand why I was filled with so much fire
But we couldn’t prove that bitch was just a liar
I broke when he didn’t chose me, he chose Desire
I should’ve left when he changed on me
I thought everything would be perfect when he got free
Jealous bitches were still hating but nobody would intervene
Didn’t know I was married to the game but knew I could never talk about all I seen
What would you do?
If almost every person you ever loved betrayed and traded you
Never knowing that loyalty back
Pretending to love me as a form of attack
And now… 24 years my senior
They throw the play and try to feen her
My demeanor?
You expect the worst so anything that’s better keep you happy
Every nightmare was served including them killing pappy
That’s just what that be
On my conscience like it was always my fault
Throwing up cause I finally realized why I threw up all that salt
I get it now and like wow… ok
They just caught… and it’s why they hang on every word that I say
Asking for paper now when I pray but that’s not ever changed
Love just not for me
I don’t want arranged either
I don’t know why but that’s just how it be
If it’s him or him - I’m just like neither
https://youtu.be/z7O7x3Gmluk?si=lTpd2MwsQ5g7GgXU
I had a good youth mostly 🖤
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Left to try to figure it all out myself
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All alone again but it’s ok I rather be alone then stuck disrespected
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He started acting JUST like him except not violent and then felt just like him and I hated and prayed for it to end again
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It’s like we both changed into completely different persons
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He used to be my kiss of death and now I can’t even feel him anymore
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And I realized like yeah sometimes it goes there to there and dies again but like he probably did shat he did and he broke it and no matter what I can’t feel him or that peace and comfort anymore
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Unless it’s pac himself I can never trust again
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EVER - I was already on my last string and changed my mind when he came home and was face to face
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I don’t even wanna have sex anymore type ish… but that may be the new meds
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I’m staying solo until I find myself and keep myself and be able to protect myself and make my own money
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I’m not hating I still wish him the best and trying to get us some money
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I’m going to bed…
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Broke my heart*
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Yes I’m finally aware we on opposite sides now and he with the people that were hurting me and I need him to come over to our side again
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We don’t even got to speak but don’t let them tell you that you like them cause you’re not - don’t let them do it to you again
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On the pieces that relate to him and he he don’t got to sue id give him some
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We all here but I’m getting hit when I stay positive… they just wanna drag me down and try to make me look and feel ugly
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They’re trying to bitch him on the humble like they did me and I can’t effing stand them… I want my entire family to leave and
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I wish we can go back until before they stole me and whipped me in leather.. and fall everytime since
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I know she did and at 18-24 yo you made a mistake and we would’ve dropped it but we almost 50 now… I know the bitches were selling me and I need for this to be resolved as I just typed die to myself type shit - it’s not my religion or culture and I don’t like and they won’t leave i
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She was pretending ro be me right? Or what the fuck was she doing sleep with every man I been witih or setting up her friends to
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I didn’t have a clue until god Gave me back the second of her having sex in the bathroom at work I was like wait she would’ve told me that why she didn’t? Then they said she a hoe and I djdnt know that either… we really wasn’t even that close only in spurts but
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We were I thought she was my best friend but we didn’t always speak and fought a lot
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I thought her giving me the pills was an accident and she was trying to help calm me down
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Yeah they been trying every night for like 3 days and even now
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Half a hit that hardly make me stumble now
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You get stronger the more they try
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Because I don’t care either way that’s why I don’t get scared of them anymore - there is life after death for facts and pac and big both proved that
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Yes she said he slept on the couch with the right on time set up and me and Ced and our family broke
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Nah I don’t forgive him either cause I was all like “sleep around but give me a lot” like I thought no way in hell would he sleep with any of my friends at least - couldn’t be more wrong
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I know she played and lied to him too
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If was my old friends but Ced didn’t want me to know either like my family too… I can’t believe God was the one that had to tell me I
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Why? wtf was gong on and what was the big deal?
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�� were you crying cause you were caught selling me or sleeping with ced
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It all went down immediately after and I don’t recall her telling me I thought she was gonna tell me she gay or something? Bitch is weird as hell and yes Ced sue me after what you owe me too
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Idgaf I deserve to know what’s going on too
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Ghost’s every where again ��
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What I was your family blow up doll? Nah people you report ish like that
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I don’t even want to know I’ll spend months throwing up again
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Everybody telling me they got daughters and I’m just like Annnd… me too! What’s going on guys?
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These sprites are going to leave me and my moms alone once and for all
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I refuse it’s what makes me sick and I don’t like them and fine we enemies so why enemiee allowed to run and force my body?
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Get out stay out and never come back
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I got sick when Norwalk came around lying
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Saw me on the highway yeah right
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How the fuck he even got my number
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It may have been the same I don’t remember - he came around right before I was shot too
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I bumped into him at the store - that may have been legit
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Ok it’s hard to maintain and grasp the fact that people are seeing this cause nobody say shit or do shit about it
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We were all here and fine and ready then eveyone started switching up again
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Check the deak at massage envy he was on my but 45 minutes type she
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Freak*
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The more I stay away the more I realize and hate him too… he’s doing so good just praying he still do cause I’m gone
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Why was how that happen deleted?
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My aunt too
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Because it’s gone too far and I’m not your bitch
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They’re trying to break my trust in pac too
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Norwalk makes me sick and it’s the same people
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They refuse to go away and I don’t understand why anyone won’t make them
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It feels gross when they’re in my body and they’re disrespectful setting me up and typing due to myeekf and stuff - I don’t want to live like them
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Die*
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It’s not my god or religion
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Why it just get worse and worse - what did we do? Why do you let them?
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She thinks she’s more important then my daughter and won’t go away
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If she over 30 idgaf
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I have my own families to gdf back to but they steady blocking
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Why did I stay and not stick up for myself again??
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He pretend well too
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It’s sad
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Nah I’m ice cold again anyway
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Not even worth it type switch up
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Why does that happen I feel think it’s right and it go away that’s happened 3x now - is to cause pac jumping?
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Is it* they make me become like 20 different people and I’m already mentally ill and can’t handle not being myself
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They use me as their trash can and they not better than me either
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Test her and you’ll get mad too - it wasn’t ever me
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Now it is
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Prior… right on time set ups
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Sleeping with the enemy nah the enemy refuse to get out of my own body
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Going to sleep getting late
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Cause I let him and couldn’t leave and stick up for myself… I lost myself again
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He came back and I was good climbing again and then I fall down and look ugly again it’s like he did it on purpose
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Well I card no matter what the time and I pray I can stick to that
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Cant*
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Bitch my life isn’t about your story get over yourself and leave me alone
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No later what this rime*
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Why do I have to feel like their family under my own body though - how does that happen?
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In… I need an exorcism - going to bed
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In my own body*
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I don’t care and that’s not true - I don’t like being submissive TAHTS when I’m sick
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We lot right for each other anyway
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Not*
You should’ve seen that stitch though and how it got stuck and how you got back up… I was sewing for my gma though - but if you had a heart you’d buy a piece and give me some money
https://youtu.be/i-TGTxUoCfw
Sad as fuck tonight
Had a rough sad weekend but the week is starting positive 🖤